Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS punished for class prank

301 replies

upsideup · 26/10/2018 16:07

DS1 is 9 and in year 5.
Last day of school, the teacher left the room for a couple of minutes and DS suggested that the class should all draw back circles on their foreheads and then act normal when she comes back in, he thought it would be a good halloween prank that she would find funny. Most of his class did it, I don’t know how many didn’t but it was only a few.

She didn’t find it funny which is fair enough, it’s not. They were asked whose idea it was and ds eventually owned up, he had to stay in a break to go and speak to the head teacher. I was phoned to be told what he did and that as the ringleader he will have to stay in every lunch time the first week back.
Obviously in the less than five minutes the teacher was gone ds wasn’t able to bully/force 20+ kids into doing it not that he would do that anyway, he mentioned it and they all decided it was a good idea to draw on their own foreheads.

AIBU to think it’s not really fair that he is the only one to get such a harsh punishment from this? And that everyone else who did the same thing is basically let off?

OP posts:
Thisreallyisafarce · 26/10/2018 17:49

*This is the first incident of bad behaviour like this that involved any other children. He does have history of not paying attention and messing around..."

Trust the school. Let them deal with it. They will have seen similar behaviour many times.

Sethis · 26/10/2018 17:51

Up to the school and the teacher to determine punishments appropriate to the situation.

While it sounds excessive to me, there may well have been plenty of other factors that contributed to the above. Your son may have been being an ass all day, or something else. You really won't get an accurate picture of the situation from him.

Miljah · 26/10/2018 17:51

Excessive punishment for a silly prank. I think it's a bit funny, too...

However, OP, you can take heart (seriously!) that your DS has enough 'presence' and respect within the group that he can get that many kids to join in!

That might help him in later life!

admission · 26/10/2018 17:51

Sorry but your son was the ring-leader and has to accept the punishment. You as parent have to back up the school in this and not make out this is excessive etc. You need to be reinforcing the message from the school that this was wrong. If you do not you and make him out to be "wronged" in this, then you will regret it later on when he again thinks he can do things that are wrong and does something that is far more of an issue.

Thisreallyisafarce · 26/10/2018 17:54

However, OP, you can take heart (seriously!) that your DS has enough 'presence' and respect within the group that he can get that many kids to join in!

Good God. Do not praise him for this, whatever you do. A child who seeks positive attention by pissing around for the entertainment of others will not do as well as he could do.

Regnamechanger · 26/10/2018 17:54

"This is the first incident of bad behaviour like this that involved any other children. He does have history of not paying attention and messing around, his behaviour the first few weeks back from summer was pretty bad but since then he has been really good."
There's your answer. They've only been back from the summer holidays for about 6 weeks...

Dontfartbackinanger · 26/10/2018 17:56

Perhaps an excessive punishment, but after your update I don’t blame the teacher. You’vr now said he had poor behaviour for the first few weeks after summer. Christ, it was only a 7 week term. And then he does this in the last week. If he has that much influence in the class it’s a shame he’s not using it for positive outcomes.

The first term is all about establishing behaviour and getting the class as a cohesive unit. Your son is disrupting this. So I’m not surprised the teacher and head wanted to create an example of this to nip it in the bud.

Please get on board and support the school.

BruegelTheElder · 26/10/2018 17:57

Before you next see the teacher draw a black circle on your forehead

Grin
Dontfartbackinanger · 26/10/2018 17:58

And remember the teacher has to put up with it for 39 weeks, you’ll be dealing with the consequences of a poor attitude for years.

AGHHHH · 26/10/2018 17:58

@abacucat of course it matters if a punishment is excessive. It should be relative to the thing he's being punished for.

AGHHHH · 26/10/2018 17:59

Before you next see the teacher draw a black circle on your forehead

Oh my god, yes. 😂

SillySallySingsSongs · 26/10/2018 17:59

He does have history of not paying attention and messing around, his behaviour the first few weeks back from summer was pretty bad but since then he has been really good.

Well thats why the punishment then. It's not even a couple of months since they went back!

youarenotkiddingme · 26/10/2018 18:00

That's odd to me.

I've always told ds if he joins in something he's equally responsible regardless of who suggested it as joining in is a choice.

I can see why they wouldn't want to keep a whole class in for a week! But it's excessive to do it to 1 child for a silly suggestion IMO.

I'm more of a fan of keeping all those who decided to join in in today and having to write a page about why they should make sensible choices!

Lweji · 26/10/2018 18:00

Before you next see the teacher draw a black circle on your forehead

Yes, you'll be the subject of twit stories among her friends for years and year.

Original poster
upsideup · 26/10/2018 18:01

OP doesn't see the difference, as she has held to her belief that the instigator should have no different a sanction than the others.

I actually do get the difference. I understand why he missed break today, had to talk to the head and why I was informed while the rest of the class got dealt with as a group in the classroom because he was the ringleader.
But an extra 5 lunchtime detentions vs nothing seems unfair to me. He is more to blame but I don't think he is completely to blame, they chose to listen to him and draw on themselves.

OP posts:
Regnamechanger · 26/10/2018 18:02

Schools tend to take account of the number and nature of previous offences when they dole out punishment. I'm sure that's why some were saying that there must be more to this. And of course there is - he has a history of not paying attention and messing around and his behaviour has been "pretty bad" for the first few weeks back in September.
So we don't know if the punishment is excessive, because we don't have the full picture.

Thisreallyisafarce · 26/10/2018 18:03

OP, stop making excuses for him. His behaviour is poor. He's not a baby.

Lweji · 26/10/2018 18:07

TBH, if he has a history, a harsher punishment is necessary.

Original poster
upsideup · 26/10/2018 18:07

He is taking the punishment in good grace.
In the moment he didnt think he was being naughty, he thought it was a funny prank on the last day term which would make the teacher laugh. He is really upset and disapointed in himself than after trying really hard and being good the last few weeks that he messed it up on the last day of term, he isnt blaming anyone else.

OP posts:
Lizzie48 · 26/10/2018 18:08

They are children, not sheep.

This definitely. The OP's DS shouldn't have been the only one punished, though it would have been right for him having a stiffer penalty.

My DD1 is in year 5. I could well imagine her following the crowd in this way. I would expect her to have a consequence for joining in on such a practical joke, as she's old enough to know better.

AChickenCalledKorma · 26/10/2018 18:08

It's horrible working with a group of kids who have come up with some joke that's keeping them highly amused and giggly when you are trying to get them focussed on a specific activity. And it's very disruptive to have to stop what the class is up to in order to restore order, find out what the hell is going on and get the children involved cleaned up. And don't say that they could have just kept the circles on their foreheads, because other parents would undoubtedly have gone ape-shit if their children left school with whiteboard marker all over their faces.

Also, the last day before half term equates to a day when the teacher is really, really ready for a break and doesn't need the extra aggravation of dealing with the above. Maybe she'd even planned something really nice and fun that had to be abandoned because of a silly prank.

If your son has form for disruptive behaviour I can totally see why she came down hard on him. Help him learn to behave.

BoneyBackJefferson · 26/10/2018 18:13

This is the first incident of bad behaviour like this that involved any other children. He does have history of not paying attention and messing around, his behaviour the first few weeks back from summer was pretty bad but since then he has been really good.

And the penny drops.

BerriesandLeaves · 26/10/2018 18:13

I think his very bad behaviour in the first few weeks of the half term have probably meant the teacher has been less inclined to be lenient. Understandable as she probably was quite hacked off by how he was when she was trying to settle in the class and doesn't want the bad behaviour to return.

DistanceCall · 26/10/2018 18:15

Yes, the teacher probably has no sense of humour and did not handle it well. (I think ignoring it would have been a better option).

But your son needs to understand that in life he will be coming across humourless, overstrict people. The punishment is reasonable (if a bit too strict).

Don't go to the school to protest. If anything, tell your son: "Well, now you know that Ms XXXX doesn't like pranks, don't you?"

BarbarianMum · 26/10/2018 18:16

So what if the parents had gone apeshit? The school could have just pointed out their child chose to do this and suggested they had a word.

Teacher should have ignored totally til end of lesson, then used break/lunch time to get to the bottom of it (and tell them to wash it off).

Swipe left for the next trending thread