Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS punished for class prank

301 replies

upsideup · 26/10/2018 16:07

DS1 is 9 and in year 5.
Last day of school, the teacher left the room for a couple of minutes and DS suggested that the class should all draw back circles on their foreheads and then act normal when she comes back in, he thought it would be a good halloween prank that she would find funny. Most of his class did it, I don’t know how many didn’t but it was only a few.

She didn’t find it funny which is fair enough, it’s not. They were asked whose idea it was and ds eventually owned up, he had to stay in a break to go and speak to the head teacher. I was phoned to be told what he did and that as the ringleader he will have to stay in every lunch time the first week back.
Obviously in the less than five minutes the teacher was gone ds wasn’t able to bully/force 20+ kids into doing it not that he would do that anyway, he mentioned it and they all decided it was a good idea to draw on their own foreheads.

AIBU to think it’s not really fair that he is the only one to get such a harsh punishment from this? And that everyone else who did the same thing is basically let off?

OP posts:
Fantastiqueangel · 27/10/2018 15:31

I was a shy child, sometimes bullied, didn't like getting into trouble, who hated his sort of thing.
You had a choice. Do as everyone else did with the risk of getting into trouble.
Don't do it, and have comments about being spoil sports etc.

That is also an issue. I hate this kind of behaviour, which is only funny if you can force other people to 'rule break' with you.

Miscible · 27/10/2018 15:31

Oh goodness OP, you're clearly one of 'those' parents who can't see any wrongdoing in their child's behaviour.

Why do people post this sort of nonsense when we can all see for ourselves that OP has consistently acknowledged that her child was in the wrong? It's one of the worst things about MN, and AIBU in particular.

BoneyBackJefferson · 27/10/2018 16:14

SilverApples

the unfortunate truth is that is that he probably thinks that his chidren are spirited and considers the teachers to be as usless as they where in his day, He is also the one that blames everyone else for his misfortune and frankly I feel for his wife.

BoneyBackJefferson · 27/10/2018 16:16

Fantastiqueangel

That is also an issue. I hate this kind of behaviour, which is only funny if you can force other people to 'rule break' with you.

I wonder how many children felt forced in to doing this either by peer pressure or for fear of being the next victim of his "humour".

troodiedoo · 27/10/2018 16:35

If I was the teacher I would punish him much more severely. Pranks are pathetic.

teaandbiscuitsforme · 27/10/2018 16:40

Lizzie With a TA?? Why should a TA waste their time on supervising him when he can stay in at lunchtime and sit outside the head's office (or another suitable space). TA's time is precious!

BarbarianMum · 27/10/2018 16:45

Really Trudie? And what would you do with kids who were actually, properly mean or naughty (not "pranks" but the real deal)? Water-boarding? Beheading?

AGHHHH · 27/10/2018 16:47

@BarbarianMum my thoughts exactly.

BoneyBackJefferson · 27/10/2018 16:48

BarbarianMum

Prank, banter, just a bit of fun, boys will be boys, it was just a joke (I know that not all of these have been used on the thread)

Interestingly these terms are often used by bullies and their parents to minimise their actions.

BarbarianMum · 27/10/2018 16:57

On this thread Boney the OPs son has had a bollocking by tge head and is musding a week of playtimes for drawing a circle on his forehead and encouraging (not forcing, not bullying) others to do likewise in a 5 min window of opportunity when the teacher popped out of the room.

If you accept Troodie's arguement that he needs a much harsher punishment for a prank, then what would that be? A month of missed play? Internal suspension?

And if that's the punishment for ringleading a prank, what would you do about actual bad behaviour (backchat, defiance, racial abuse, bullying)? Are those automatic expulsion.

Pranks and banter exist. They are real things, as well as sometimes being the figleaf behind which far nastier behaviour is hidden. What do you see in the OPs posts to make you think this is the case here? Where has she (or anyone) said "boys will be boys"?

Lizzie48 · 27/10/2018 17:04

I don't know, it's just a suggestion. If the penalty is missing break times for a week someone has still got to supervise him, so what's the difference? Maybe exclusion for the rest of the day? But there needs to be someone at home to supervise him.

I think the easiest penalty is extra homework, or lines to be done at home. I would be happy to make sure this happened if it was one of my DDs,. (It used to be a map to be drawn when I was at school.)

teaandbiscuitsforme · 27/10/2018 17:19

If he was missing lunchtime at our school, he'd be sat outside the head's office where the admin staff are. Not fair on the admin staff to watch kids who have behaved badly but somebody would be working in the office anyway. Obviously this is only a solution if the person in trouble isn't going to be any bother to the admin staff. Anybody who would cause trouble would have to be with a teacher or the head.

Homework is a no go. You'd either get parents making up an excuse as to why they didn't have to do it or it wouldn't get done. Or the parents would do it for them! It's likely that only a small proportion of parents would back the school up and make the child do it as a punishment. Sad reflection on most parents unfortunately.

BoneyBackJefferson · 27/10/2018 17:26

BarbarianMum

I did post that not all the phrases had been used on the thread, I am pointing out that exactly as you said that this is a "figleaf behind which far nastier behaviour is hidden."

What do I see that makes me think that this may be more?
That one child can apparently get an entire class to do his will. As a teacher of many years and a cynic of even more that makes me think that there is more to this.

troodiedoo · 27/10/2018 17:35

@BarbarianMum I consider pranks to be actual proper naughtiness.

Lweji · 27/10/2018 17:53

This desire in the U.K. to make everyone conform and be mute saddens me.

How do you think this would have been handled in other countries?

MaisyPops · 27/10/2018 17:54

troodiedoo
I do too when they disrupt learning.

There's a touch of 'discipline and rules are for other people's children not my lively spirited DC' in elements of this thread as well as an implicit view that learning doesn't really matter because 'it's only a joke'.

The stupid thing is I'd put money on people here being on the phone to school if their child's learning was disrupted the finest bit by having to be sat next door but one to the class 'naughty child' (hate that phrase but you know what I mean). I'm starting to wonder if some of the replies are in the faux liberal form of 'of course i would let my 10 year old go out in bum showing shorts and a bra top with a face of make up. Why wouldn't I?'

A funny and good natured prank at break time is fine. It's not for the classroom.

melin · 27/10/2018 17:54

A prank like this is something that undermines a teacher infront of the children. If they get away with it or seen to be getting off mildly then it encourages them and other children to try other pranks and potentially escalate what they try to get away with.

All of this takes away from learning

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 27/10/2018 17:57

He was the ringleader so maybe the teacher wanted to make a point as to avoid future incidents.

bumblingbovine49 · 27/10/2018 18:07

I personally think this is way over the top. It has also taught your son that if he owns up, he will be severely punished. Next time he won't own up if he has any sense.

Obviously you need room back the school and just tell your son to suck.it up and that ofren stuff is not fair and his actions will have consequenced, sometimes unforseen ones.

Inside, I wouldn't be a impressed with the school though
Far better to keep the whole class ( the ones who participated ) in for one lunchtime and possibly 2-3 for your son as ringleader with an explanation that it would have been more if he had been found out and not owned up.

BoneyBackJefferson · 27/10/2018 20:01

bumblingbovine49

Next time he won't own up if he has any sense.

If he has any sense (and the school is backed by the OP) there won't be a "next time"

KnobZombie7 · 27/10/2018 20:29

Ex teacher - worked in different schools over many years - in each school I've taught in, this type of behaviour would have warranted a similar punishment to the one described here.

He seems to be badly behaved in school. This was not a one-off incident. The teacher and HT have probably had enough and want to nip his 'ringleader' side in the bud. This action would have utterly disrupted the lesson - and he would have known it would - and is thus unacceptable. It's a hard task for a teacher to build a culture whereby badly behaved children in the class are not 'worshiped', followed or thought of as cool by the other children.

His poor teacher.

He's old enough to know better. Are you sure he hoped his teacher would find it funny? Could he have just wanted to disrupt the lesson?

However, all the children involved should have received some form of punishment, in a lesser form. And why did the teacher leave the class unattended?

DirtyBlonde · 27/10/2018 21:41

Next time he won't own up if he has any sense

You don't think (or even hope) that if he has any sense he will have learned not to do it in the first place?

Lweji · 27/10/2018 21:56

It has also taught your son that if he owns up, he will be severely punished.

He didn't need to own up. His classmates would have told who it was.
And I imagine that if he didn't own up, the punishment would have been harsher.

Lizzie48 · 27/10/2018 22:27

@KnobZombie7

I agree with your post, absolutely. The punishment handed out to the OP's DS was totally fair, but the other children should have had some form of sanction, as a 9 year old would know that behaviour was unacceptable. (I would expect my DD1 to know better.)

Nevertheless, I do still think the teacher shouldn't have left the class unattended, it's just asking for trouble.

HarveyNickNacks · 27/10/2018 22:44

Whilst the teacher might have been better just giving a sigh and saying something like "Well don't you lot look really stupid.." I can understand her frustration and why your DS got a punishment.

I had to put up with this stupid shit at school. Dickheads who thought it was funny to disrupt classes with so called funny pranks because they didn't want to learn or work. I did.

You might want to have a word with your DS. He is disrupting learning for his classmates. They might think it funny now, but they won't for much longer. And he needs to decide whether he wants to get an education or not.

Swipe left for the next trending thread