Wedding - would you be happy

[GreenGiants]

Small wedding - 17 guests (including bride and groom).

Wedding will be in a hotel and will be at 3pm

Following the ceremony guests will be moved to a private function room within the venue and will be greeted with a drinks reception (glass of champagne each)

At 5:30 there will be a three course dinner

The private function room is hired by us until midnight (of course we wouldn't expect anyone to stay that long)

We would possibly provide nibbles/buffet at 8pm? And play music from a playlist

Would you expect drinks during the evening to be paid by bride and groom?

The venue is about an hour drive and guests will be paying for their own room

(Unsure if I've missed any other detail)

Does this sound nice or shit? What else could be included? (I feel live music is too much for a small group)

That sounds lovely, and I would be glad of the free glass on arrival. I would expect to pay for myself from there on.

Personally I'd make the nibbles / buffet later as you won't finish your 3 course meal until about 7 so doubt anyone will be hungry at 8.

Otherwise I think that sounds lovely and relaxing and no, I wouldn't expect drinks to be paid for

Thank you both.

I'm just worried about everyone being bored to death.

I'm also concerned about decorations etc with it being so small and intimate. Don't want anything over the top, but don't want it to look plain and forgotten about!

It sounds typical and what ma y people would expect. I've never been to a wedding where all drinks were paid for and wouldn't expect it. Supposedly some couples opt for this but frankly, I'd be more concerned about family/friends setting yourself in debts than having to pay for a few drinks as I would if going out with friends.

I do thin knice nibbles are good though as people get hungry as they drink and it helps them not getting plastered. I was amazed how quickly our finger food went in the evening, thankfully the hotel was very happy to do more (at no extra cost).

I've never been to a wedding where drinks, other than champagne on arrival and a glass of wine with the dinner, have been paid for by the Bride and Groom. So no, I wouldn't expect not to pay for my own drinks.

Sounds like we are providing something pretty "typical" then.

I just didn't know if people would expect more drinks given they're paying for their own accommodation.

Thanks everyone

Firstly you should move the nibbles to later, you'll only be just finished dinner at that stage. And no I wouldn't mind paying for my own drinks but it think it would be nice if you to cover the first drink at the bar? It would be nice considering there your close family/friends

Sounds very similar to my wedding, except we were in a city centre venue not a hotel. Similar number of guests and timings. We had a pay for your own bar in evening and music playlist (I hate wedding discos and dancing lol). We did provide a mulled cider for everyone, as it was a winter wedding and we had a nice outside area with patio heaters. It worked well. The evening buffet food (bread and cheese board) was barely touched after canapés, 3 course meal and cake though.

I'd always expect to pay for my own drinks at a wedding, if I don't have to it's a bonus, but definately never expected. I also wouldn't expect a buffet at 8pm after a 3 course meal at 5:30.

Although I await the deluge of posts on here from people afronted that you dare invite people to a wedding, and are not providing them an unlimited supply of free booze for the night, which is laughable.

Are you providing bottles on the table with dinner?

I'd 'expect' a welcome drink or two plus wine with dinner. Would then expect to pay after dinner but will so few guests I think it would be lovely if you paid.

I was totally set on having an open bar so chose a venue where we could take our own with no corkage - but I don't expect it after dinner.

We got married at 3pm. Didn’t provide food for the evening. We didn’t finish eating til about 7pm. Told people just coming for the evening that there wouldnt be food.

Dh was a student when we married and we had a very small budget.

Sounds lovely. I would expect a cash bar after dinner but wine during dinner to be provided.

Oh we did have wine on the table for during the meal and a welcome glass of something fIZZY

Always expect to pay for my own drinks at a wedding. The only time we haven't was when it was someone whose family were multi millionaires. and I felt completely out of place

I've never been to a reception with a free bar.

I agree with the pp comments about the buffet being later. Any recent weddings I've been to instead of a buffet have had rolls & sausage or rolls & bacon around 10pm. Great for soaking up the booze.

I'd be surprised if people leave before midnight. And if people are staying you can expect the party to go on for much longer.

Sounds a great - and typical - wedding to me

I have to say, that sounds lovely and like my ideal wedding day.

I certainly wouldn't expect drinks/rooms to be paid for by the B&G.

Not even sure you would need more than a few nibbles at 9 pm. Can you even move the dinner to 6 and then not provide more.

I'd provide guests with more than one welcome drink and at least half a bottle of wine each with dinner.

As your wedding is so small, more drinks would be nice. As others say though, it's not always expected in the UK but it is in other parts of Europe. Depends if you can afford it or if you could get a reasonable deal at your venue.

Have you checked the bar prices at your venue? I don’t mind buying my own drinks but I hate discovering that I should have remortgaged to buy a couple of glasses of wine.

There needs to be more drinks. Whether offered or pay-your-own.

Sorry but ‘a drinks reception’ doesn’t equate to ‘one glass of bubbles’ per person across potentially 1.5hrs. And please consider playing music (live or bottled) sometime before 5 hours into the event.

Event manager experience speaking here.

If budget is so limited, maybe shorten the event significantly and purposefully (rather than hoping people don’t stick around as you suggest). If you create a jolly atmosphere from the outset (eg music & drinks) then it tends to create momentum, that will likely carry through even if people have to dip into their own wallets.

But you know your friends & family best, maybe they’re a great group of conversationalists who know each other well already and wouldn’t need any ‘social lubrication’?

If you want to you can always do an extra drink for the toast. Lots of weddings I've been to had we come drinks, wine with dinner and then another glass of fizz for the speeches or toast. Some I've been to also offered a liquor from a list eg baileys or drambuie with the coffee. Was really nice but not expected. I've not been to many weddings with a free bar. I've been to some where they have put a certain amount behind the bar eg a couple of drinks for everyone and then you had to pay after that. Again nice but not expected.

I'm going to go against the grain and say I wouldn't expect a buffet later on if I'd had a 3 course meal starting at 5.30. Maybe a slice of wedding cake or cheese or something but not a full on buffet

I agree about nibbles at 8pm not being necessary, especially so soon after a three course meal.

It sounds like quite a long gap between the ceremony and dinner so I would think about serving some canapés or snacks then or there is a risk of people being drunk by the time they sit down.

The evening snacks are less necessary imo.

I think it sounds lovely!

Sorry to clarify - I didn't mean no music until 8pm during finger food.

Music would be all afternoon/evening.