Wedding - would you be happy

[GreenGiants]

Small wedding - 17 guests (including bride and groom).

Wedding will be in a hotel and will be at 3pm

Following the ceremony guests will be moved to a private function room within the venue and will be greeted with a drinks reception (glass of champagne each)

At 5:30 there will be a three course dinner

The private function room is hired by us until midnight (of course we wouldn't expect anyone to stay that long)

We would possibly provide nibbles/buffet at 8pm? And play music from a playlist

Would you expect drinks during the evening to be paid by bride and groom?

The venue is about an hour drive and guests will be paying for their own room

(Unsure if I've missed any other detail)

Does this sound nice or shit? What else could be included? (I feel live music is too much for a small group)

For that few people, the gap 3.30-5.30 could well feel quite long with just a glass of something. I’d definitely think about how to fill/entertain during that gap. Background music at the very least, played via a sound system?

I’d ditch the buffet and use the money to put wine on the tables.

More than one drink on arrival - I can't think of anything more miserable then spinning a solitary glass of fizz out for two hours. Rather than nibbles at 8, provide some canapes immediately after the ceremony. Remember if a wedding is at 3 and most people have driven for an hour they're unlikely to have had much of a lunch.

Instead of nibbles at 8 (too early) do a generous cheese board with bread at around 9.30. Or a bacon buttie (with a veggie alternative if needed) at 10.

It's fine to pay for own drinks after the meal but would be unusual not to provide wine with it, you should allow around half a bottle per head. Also fizz for toasts if you're doing them.

With so few guests, unless you've invited a bunch of raging alcoholics I'd stand them a few more drinks. I'd also try to think of something to do after dinner if you are expecting them to stay all evening. Even something cheesy like charades or Karaoke, or maybe a quiz. But of course I don't know what your family/friends would be into - maybe they are quite happy just chatting.

With so few guests you could pay for drinks for another £250 (I had a small wedding too and we paid for everything). It improves the atmosphere.

Sounds lovely! The only things I’d maybe tweak are:
-Nibbles straight after a 3 course meal are completely unnecessary, if you food is half decent then no one will have room.
-Ceremony at 3pm, then dinner at 5.30pm is a long gap with just one glass of fizz. I’d offer the nibbles at this time instead. A second drink would be nice too but at the very least make sure the bar is open so people can buy their own.
-Definitely provide some wine with the meal. It’s not about whether or not people mind paying but about them having to leave the table mid-meal to trot over to the bar. Also, even weddings with cash bars usually have a couple of bottles on the table with the meal so people will probably expect it.

Oh as for food - we got married at 4pm and then had mince pies, cakes, tea, coffee and hot chocolate at the church while we were having photos done and then had a three course a la carte meal at 6pm, then wedding cake around 8pm, then a cheese board and macarons at 9.30pm. It was great.

It sounds lovely. But definitely provide soft drinks and also a few bottles of wine on the table with dinner. Do a cheese and cake course at 9:30pm.

Thanks so much for your suggestions everyone.

I think we may look into canapés on arrival with a few more supplied drinks before the meal.

Well definitely supply drinks with the meal too!!!

It's a relief it doesn't sound horrific! Just with it being so small I wasn't sure how it would all look! We purposely did small to try and help us fund it :)

I’d expect wine with dinner but not after that
And I wouldn’t expect a buffet as meal unlikely to finish until eight anyway

It'll be lovely, have a great day 👰🏻 💐 🥂

Thanks so much @Justkeeprollingalong :)

I would expect drinks during the drinks reception and wine for dinner to be provided, but cash bar in the evening is totally fine as long as people know so they make sure they have their wallets on them. I have been to weddings that are unlimited drinks all day and evening, which is nice, but not necessary. I agree, nibbles a bit later, 9 perhaps?

I'd expect wine to be provided with dinner, but otherwise no. I know sometimes a glass of champagne is offered on arrival. This is nice IF provided but I wouldn't EXPECT it.

On your advice I was considering asking the hotel to push dinner back to 6pm, offering canapés with drinks reception and possibly having cheese and nibbles and around 9? I also like the late bacon sandwich idea

If you’re worried about people being bored could you do a wee quiz or some games?

Sounds similar to my wedding. Maybe provide some canapes with the reception drink and have 2 drinks. Then provide wine and beer on the dinner table and a cash bar after that, if anyone wants anything later or a bit stronger. My timings were very similar and most of my guests left at 8.30 pm ish.

@UmmMeToo thanks for the recommendations. I've been to very few weddings so I'm clueless!

I think this sounds really nice but if you can afford it it would be good to cover a couple of extra drinks per person between the ceremony and the meal. Only if that won’t overstretch you though as it honestly will be nice anyway it is just a nice extra.

I would move the meal back to 6 o'clock ...leaves time for circulation and photographs. If you changed the pre dinner drink from champagne to prosecco it would help the budget so that you could provide more than one pre dinner drink. I would miss out the cheese and nibbles at 9.o'clock ...people will be fine after a 6.00 pm dinner ...and go straight to bacon butties around 10 0'clock. If people have travelled ext some might not stay later than say 11.30 so if you leave the butties too late you might have wasted your money. If people do stay late and boogie the night away they will still have had more than enough to eat. Have a great time op

I was considering asking the hotel to push dinner back to 6pm, offering canapés with drinks reception and possibly having cheese and nibbles and around 9? I also like the late bacon sandwich idea - I think this sounds brilliant!!

we had a similar sounding wedding. about 15 people, ceremony late in the afternoon then tasting menu dinner at about 7:30 after drinks, nibbles etc.
No one was bored as before dinner we were all in a private drawing room type thing, drinking, having nibbles and chatting, then we were all round a large table in private dining room eating and drinking ( are you spotting a theme here!0
anyway, the post dinner drinks and chat went on till about midnight so no need to provide extra1
we paid for all the food, all the drinks and everyone's accommodation.
we thought as it was such a small amount of people it would seem rude not to!

We had a similar wedding. We decided to cover the bar bill ourselves. We were shocked at how low it ended up being. Not a hard partying crowd I guess, but something to consider.

I loved our smallish wedding. Cocktails and apps in the bar, ceremony, dinner, cake cutting and dessert, then post dinner drinks and coffee. It was very us.

I probably wouldn’t change a thing, though I did see a board game reception idea and thought that sounded fantastic.

Thanks @JosellaPlayton 

We had a similar wedding and to be honest everyone was so full after the meal that nibbles would have been superfluous. We did however serve tea and coffee along with cake later on.

We also put a bottle of nice port and whisky behind the bar for guests to help themselves to but if they wanted anything else they had to pay although no one was interested in anything else.