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Original poster

Wedding - would you be happy

83 replies

GreenGiants · 26/10/2018 11:40

Small wedding - 17 guests (including bride and groom).

Wedding will be in a hotel and will be at 3pm

Following the ceremony guests will be moved to a private function room within the venue and will be greeted with a drinks reception (glass of champagne each)

At 5:30 there will be a three course dinner

The private function room is hired by us until midnight (of course we wouldn't expect anyone to stay that long)

We would possibly provide nibbles/buffet at 8pm? And play music from a playlist

Would you expect drinks during the evening to be paid by bride and groom?

The venue is about an hour drive and guests will be paying for their own room

(Unsure if I've missed any other detail)

Does this sound nice or shit? What else could be included? (I feel live music is too much for a small group)

OP posts:
Doobigetta · 26/10/2018 12:22

Cut out the canapés and spend the money on providing more drinks instead.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 26/10/2018 12:24

I thought from the title that this was a question about welding- I really hope my new glasses arrive soon!

Food at 8pm is a good idea. Feeding people at a wedding is important. They can pay for their own drinks though, that's fine.

MissConductUS · 26/10/2018 12:27

I would pay for the drinks, but I think that's more customary in the US. If you're worried about over consumption or the expense limit it to beer and wine.

You might consider doing an ice cream sundae bar after the meal. That was a huge hit at my reception.

It all sounds lovely, by the way, and good on you that you're providing a proper meal.

IsTheRainEverComingBack · 26/10/2018 12:29

I wouldn’t expect drinks to be paid all evening, but I’d probably expect a couple of glasses of champers/wine at the drinks reception, and a few bottles of wine on the table for dinner. After that Id be buying my own.

swingofthings · 26/10/2018 12:31

Do you have one choice of menu? If so nibbles at 8pm to last for hours might not be a bad idea as you need to consider that not everyone will enjoy the meal. If it was shrimps, followed by lamb and tiramissu for desert, I would need nibbles As I wouldn't be able to eat much of any of the meal (which then is of course a waste of a dinner so I would possibly just ask for a basic soup or salad if possible).

Tartyflette · 26/10/2018 12:31

I think I'd offer a canapé or two with the welcome drink.
Also I'd make that two drinks if possible, you would only need about another three more bottles of fizz for 17 people, (six servings per bottle) which can be cheapos prosecco or cava after the champagne has run out. So an extra 40-50 quid or so? That, plus a little something to nibble, looks more generous.
My reasoning is that if the service is at 3, presumably over by 3.45 ish then it's a fair length of time to eke out just one drink and nothing else until the sit-down meal at 5.30.

And it may be more like 5.45 before you actually get to eat anything, allowing for a little slippage (herding guests in, chatting, actually getting food onto plates etc.)

Aaaahfuck · 26/10/2018 12:33

You could have some games/quiz or something if it's small. It sounds about the size of an immediate extended family get together for me. (if that makes any sense I mean not absolutely everyone. I think there's often lots to talk about at those things. So you don't need to worry too much it's going to be dull. However if not everyone knows each other something to gel the group could be good. I went to an anniversary party with a photo album of pics through the years (50th anniversary) that was a nice conversation starter. So something similar maybe?

MorrisZapp · 26/10/2018 12:34

I went to a wedding where each table took turns getting up, walking down a corridor to the venue kitchens, plating up their own food from the vats on offer, bringing it back and eating.

It was the best wedding I've ever been to.

Tartyflette · 26/10/2018 12:34

I went to a wedding which had similar timings re food and they served up hot bacon sandwiches at around 11 pm. They went down very well indeed.
Another one served up a cheese course a few hours after the main meal.

Whisky2014 · 26/10/2018 12:36

Only one drink between 3.30 and 5.30?(assuming ceremony is 30 mins?)..Is there a bar they can buy their own otherwise I'd be paying for at least 2 glasses each.

DexyMidnight · 26/10/2018 12:41

If you're not having a band / disco (which i agree with for such a small party) i would eliminate the buffet entirely and instead have canapes/naice small sanwiches (5 pp would be good) and push dinner back by an hour. If you have a nice leisurely dinner starting at 6.30 / 7 you'll be finished by 8.30 / 9 and no one will need feeding any further.

One glass of fizz is fine but allow for top ups if budget allows. You must provide wine with dinner (imo) but nothing further is essential in my view x

DeadBod · 26/10/2018 12:42

I would be inclined to pay for all drinks since there's only 17 of you. If someone went to the bar then they may feel obligated to offer everyone a drink since it's a small group and that could be a hefty round for them.
Nibbles wouldn't be needed so soon after a 3 course meal.

DexyMidnight · 26/10/2018 12:44

Btw wedding venues or indeed venues im general and trained at getting food served in rapid time. Make very clear to the coordinator / manager that your party would like a leisurely meal - you could intersperse speeches, perhaps?

TillyTheTiger · 26/10/2018 12:45

Sounds very like my wedding (same number of guests, similar timings). We had canapes with the drinks reception which were very well-received. Are you having a photographer? If so, that will fill some of the time between the ceremony and the meal. We had a pub quiz after the meal that DH and I had written- 3 teams of 5 and we mixed our families up, which was nice as they got to know each other a bit better. We'd tailored the questions to take into account everyone's knowledge so it was really close and all the guests thoroughly enjoyed it. We just had music from a playlist throughout, we thought such a small group wouldn't be up for dancing, and live music might have been oppressive.

RB68 · 26/10/2018 12:46

I think what I would do is provide the first drink, maybe have some bottles of wine provided but as well as playing a playlist maybe have an entertainer circulating - magic tricks can be entertaining in small groups with the magician walking from group to group.

Ceremony at 3 meal at 6pm or 5.30 is fine. There is often a quiet patch when photos are taken so think about filling that a little to break the ice - later I would have thought it would be less of an issue

DiscombobulatedWomble · 26/10/2018 12:47

I don't think anyone will be expecting you to pay for their drinks.

It sounds lovely. If you wanted to provide more drinks you could always do what we did - provided drinks tokens in place of wedding favours. Limited it to a house spirits, wines and a selection of beer/lager/cider. Think we did 3 per person.

People seemed to appreciate that more than some chocolates etc. I chose this over bottles of wine with dinner because I hate wine and wanted to provide something for everyone Smile

Congratulations and I hope you enjoy your day!

Em308 · 26/10/2018 12:52

Eating at 5.30 I'd be happy with no buffet, maybe do tea / coffee and cake instead, then provide wine with dinner? Surely wouldn't cost much for a dozen bottles of wine?

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 26/10/2018 12:56

If it was me I would provide some canapes with the champagne, and also provide wine on the tables, as someone said about 1/2 bottle each. Thats only going to be around an extra 100/200 pounds or so, depending on corkage, but IMO will make a big difference to the welcome and feel of the event.

Saying that, we provided all the drinks for free at our wedding because it was in a private house. I can't remember our drinks budget but it was probably around 1K, for a 6K wedding.

shiningstar2 · 26/10/2018 13:04

Sounds lovely. As you asked what else could be included just wondering whether you are providing wine with the main meal and/or for the toast

Kool4katz · 26/10/2018 13:05

Are there more than the original 15 people joining you later on?
If not, I'd just let the guests leave or stay and chat after the main meal. I can't imagine wanting to hang around much after 9pm, to be honest.

GoneGirl · 26/10/2018 13:12

Paying for drinks seems to be a cultural thing. Wouldn't dream of having guests pay for drinks at my wedding and same for any family weddings.

Our parents generation find it very rude when they go to weddings where they have to pay for drinks but we're used to it now having been to lots of friends' weddings.

Still wouldn't do it myself.

BloodyUseless · 26/10/2018 13:15

It's always interesting to hear about people's experiences of paid bars or not. I've only ever been to a few weddings where the drinks weren't free. I think it's just different depending on who you know.

I would think the chance of drinks being paid for would increase the fewer people you have. I would expect free drinks at a party of 17 people but looks like most people wouldn't mind so I wouldn't worry about it.

HippoLatte · 26/10/2018 13:23

I'd serve a bottle of wine or two to each table during dinner as it's a small gathering I don't think it would cost too much.

Agree that nibbles could be a little later but everything sounds lovely, enjoy!

Justkeeprollingalong · 26/10/2018 13:24

Definitely need to provide more than one arrival drink and also wine for the meal. After that have a buy your own bar.

Lalliella · 26/10/2018 13:25

I think you should provide wine with dinner, and some fizz for a toast. Other than that, all sounds perfect.

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