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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think i you dont know someones birthday...

57 replies

CandyCreeper · 26/10/2018 00:35

Just received a random email from an ex a few hours ago wishing me happy birthday!!... only its not my birthday, my birthday was 10 days ago so he obviously thought it was the 25th instead of the 15th. aibu to think if you dont know someones birthday dont flipping wish them happy birthday?!

OP posts:
TeFiti · 26/10/2018 07:50

But he didn’t know he had it wrong, he thought he knew it, so your “if you don’t know, don’t send birthday greetings” thing falls down there.

Honestly, I can’t see that a belated birthday wish from an ex is worth getting wound up over 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
CandyCreeper · 26/10/2018 10:47

its wasnt a belated birthday, he thinks it was yesterday, the message just says happy birthday, he was clearly unsure about the date so it is abit offensive imo, especially when i have kids with this person and he doesnt even know my birthday. Hmm

OP posts:
ohreallyohreallyoh · 26/10/2018 10:49

He probably thought he had the right day.

florafawna · 26/10/2018 10:50

They got the date wrong, but at least acknowledged it.

araiwa · 26/10/2018 10:50

Offensive? Bloody hell

PattiStanger · 26/10/2018 10:52

How on earth would that work, if you think you've got the right date, that's what you think Confused

Leatherboundanddown · 26/10/2018 10:54

I would probably be a bit miffed as you have kids together so it might have been nice for him to arrange something from the kids for you (mine doesn't do this either though) otherwise forget about it.

My birthday was also the 15th too. Hope you had a nice day.

Original poster
CandyCreeper · 26/10/2018 10:55

so its not offensive to not know the correct birthday of someone you have 4 children with and have known 10 years?? ok then Confused

OP posts:
3out · 26/10/2018 10:55

He tried. I don’t think he’s intentionally waited to wish you happy birthday over a week late just to annoy you. Just accept the sentiment of the good wishes.

Limensoda · 26/10/2018 10:55

At least he did wish you a happy birthday?

MsQueenie · 26/10/2018 10:57

One of the reasons he's an Ex then!

davisday · 26/10/2018 11:01

so its not offensive to not know the correct birthday of someone you have 4 children with and have known 10 years?? ok then

He is your EX. Why are you still looking to him for anything? Who gives a shit if he knows your birthday. You should both be focusing on the children.

Twisique · 26/10/2018 11:01

Perhaps it's only offensive if it's him, iyswim

AssassinatedBeauty · 26/10/2018 11:04

It's not offensive, just a bit crap of him. Presumably part of the reason he's an ex! I'd try and laugh about it, and think how fortunate you are not to still be in a relationship with this man.

Devillanelle · 26/10/2018 11:05

Oh give over. Believe it or not your birthday is not important to well anyone but yourself.

Original poster
CandyCreeper · 26/10/2018 11:06

i would rather he didnt wish me happy birthday tbh so getting the date wrong is whats annoyed me, its a case of if you are going to wish someone happy birthday atleast make sure you know the right date.
its embarrasing imo but if its normal to people on here then thats fine.

davisday he doesnt see his children (through choice) hence why i would rather he wouldnt wish me happy birthday.

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 26/10/2018 11:16

It's not "normal" to people here, it's just not massively offensive. It's a bit crap and thoughtless. Unless you think he's doing it deliberately to try an annoy you? In which case it's clearly working.

If he doesn't see his children, is there any way you can just ignore his emails? Send them direct to a folder and then don't bother looking at it?

florafawna · 26/10/2018 11:16

Guess he's your ex for a reason...

Witchend · 26/10/2018 11:22

I've got 3 dc with dh and have been with him over twenty years, no issues.
A year ago I was asked for his dob and got it wrong. Strange thing was at the time I was certain that I was right.

Thankfully he just thought it was funny.

ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 26/10/2018 11:22

If he chooses not to see his kids then him getting the date of your birthday wrong is the last thing I'd be fuming with him about...

IStandWithPosie · 26/10/2018 11:24

Wow. You’re taking it very seriously OP. He’s an ex, laugh and ignore. Why would you choose to let this upset you? That’s energy you don’t need to be wasting on an ex. Choose not to.

IStandWithPosie · 26/10/2018 11:25

Btw my ex once texted me to ask what our son’s birthday was so he could get it tattooed on himself. Hmm

BloodyDraculcasonthis · 26/10/2018 11:26

Poor memory is offensive now?

Fuck.. I must be the most offensive cunt ever. My memory is shit and I can't remember my mum's birthday, my dad's birthday or any of my exes birthdays.
I can remember my daughter's, but that's about it.

TellMeAboutRedditch · 26/10/2018 11:26

Well there's a reason he's an ex right? I guess it's the thought that counts... Confused

TellMeAboutRedditch · 26/10/2018 11:27

@IStandWithPosie

I hope you told him the wrong date.