To think i you dont know someones birthday...

[CandyCreeper]

Just received a random email from an ex a few hours ago wishing me happy birthday!!... only its not my birthday, my birthday was 10 days ago so he obviously thought it was the 25th instead of the 15th. aibu to think if you dont know someones birthday dont flipping wish them happy birthday?!

In his mind he did know it and it's the 25th though!

It's offensive while you are still with them.

He is an ex, what does it matter to you whether he knows your birthday or not? Chalk it up to being one more reason you are happier without him and move on...

I couldn’t get worked up about it. It took me 10years to learn DPs birthday date. I never missed his birthday, just for some reason I couldn’t retain the date 🤷‍♀️

Just a mistake, don't take it too seriously or personally. He meant well.

I hope you told him the wrong date.

How hurtful would that be to my child?

He's an ex.... if he can't be arsed to see his kids, why would you think he'd bother to remember your birthday.

Its hardly worth getting wound up about - either ignore, or reply saying "it was the 15th, but thanks" and move on.

@CandyCreeper Disagree with PP, I think you do have a right to be miffed, I would be, one because the idiot had contacted me in the first place, since dismissing his responsibilities as a father of my children, and two because I'd think he was trying to spark a reaction from me. Find a way to block him from contacting you.

When we were still married my exh used to ring me from his office if he was filling in forms or something similar and ask me when our three DCs birthdays were.

I rarely got a present from him for my birthday when we were married. I couldn't really get too worked up if he couldn't remember when my birthday was now that we're no longer together.

Just 🙄🙄🙄 and ignore. Don’t reply. Better to be annoyed on the wrong date than the right one 😂

Sounds like there are still feelings involved.....you should have laughed it off and not been bothered by his bad memory.

I remember my ex getting extremely angry once that I had forgotten how he took his tea, I had been in a new relationship for a few years and tbh, my ex was lucky he was allowed in my house, let alone offered a cuppa. I thought it was very bizarre and a sign to him that I was no longer his, control was gone and he just wasn't important to me.

Ffs so he got the date of your birthday wrong. Big deal. People frequently get dates wrong. If that's your idea of offensive you're easily offended.

I always got my ex's birthday mixed up even when we were together. I could never remember whether it was 27th or 29th.
Odd because I remember birthdays of people I knew years ago and have not heard from in years. No idea why his was a problem.

My husband got my birthday wrong the other day. Told someone at the school that her daughters party was on my sons birthday. It wasn’t it was on mine. He always gets my anniversary wrong as well. Maybe I should divorce him 😂.

I get it, OP. This is the sort of thing that would really annoy me, I'd go and have a massive rant about it to my sister, who would then give me her special look, ask why I was still bothered about the wanker and tell me to get a grip. And she would be right.

Take PPs' advice - look at it as a sign of the person he is and rejoice that you no longer have to put up with it. If he doesn't even want to see his own children, why don't you just block his email, or at least send it to another folder so you don't even know it's arrived? Ignorance is bliss, after all.

The year my parents divorced (she left him) my Dad rang her on the wrong day to wish her a highly passive aggressive Happy Anniversary, we still laugh about it now. (Me and my DM, my F is toxic)

I don't get why this is offensive and not either hilarious at his expense (wrong day dickhead) or acceptable as someone you're on terms with making a good natured mistake 

i dont know what else to say. i dont think its hilarious that someone i have 4 kids doesnt know my birthday its abit shameful to me, but i accept im unreasonable since 90% say i am.

I don't think you're unreasonable...just overly sensitive. He's an ex for a reason and I'm sure more serious things than forgetting a date?

I would guess you have underlying feelings that maybe you haven't explored. But that doesn't make you a bad person- just a little confused with the situation.

Yes it's shameful but it's not massively offensive or worth spending any mental energy on. He's your ex! Presumably there's a long list of reasons why you're not together, so add this to the list. Especially if he doesn't want to see his own 4 children - which is a much much more significant issue than whether or not he gets your birthday right.

I think it’s irritating but a reminder as to why he’s your ex! I think I’d give it an eyeroll, a deep sigh and move on.

ive gotten over him not seeing them he hasnt seen them in almost a year, i just wish that he would go away completely so its kind of annoying him popping up to say happy birthday on the wrong day! not sure how to block emails say i need to log into my icloud.com which inthink can only be done on a computer?? which i dont have.

I think your last message is more revealing: he disappears from DCs lives, then pops up all 'hey Happy Birthday' and to top it off the dickhead has got the wrong date. Sums him up, by the sound of it. I have a friend who has got my birthday wrong for years - she sends me a long Happy Birthday text with loads of emojis and kisses, and every year I say 'thank you. But it's my birthday tomorrow'. Every bloody year.

The response then clearly is :

You think you can get into my good graces by (mis)remembering my birthday? Try remembering you've got 4 kids and doing right by them

I'd ignore him tbh.

Probably doing it to annoy you.

@Candycreeper

I can't make up my mind about this one.

On the one hand, I find it annoying when people don't remember my birthdate/get the date wrong. I mean, people who have known me for YEARS, family members, and other people who I buy cards and gifts for. (And I never get THEIR birthdates wrong!)

On the other hand I don't know why you are so bothered, (and clearly offended,) as he is an ex anyway. I would just email back and say 'why are you wishing me happy birthday? My birthday was nearly 2 weeks ago?!' Wait for his response and then block him.

If he doesn't even SEE your 4 kids you have with him, then you don't need ANY communication! Block his email address, block him on your phone, and block him on facebook/twitter. (If you have him on there.)

Did he remember your birthday when you were together? Did he have 'form' for forgetting dates?

Me and DH have been married 20 years, and our anniversary is the 17th of July. He still asks me at the beginning of EVERY JULY 'what date is our anniversary again? The 19th?????' (Or the 16th, or the 13th?!) He is not being ignorant or rude, he is just a man. Men are not the best when it comes to this kind of stuff. (IMO, and IME.)

How odd though that he is wishing you happy birthday when he can't even be arsed with his own kids! I would be tempted to email back to him, and say 'my birthday was 10 days ago, not today, you fucking arsehat. Now piss off and don't message me again!' Then BLOCK him!