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Original poster

Hauled into school because dd had no breakfast

910 replies

takeastand · 25/10/2018 19:11

Got called into school as dd(13) felt unwell and it transpired she hadn't eaten. I don't encourage her to eat breakfast although I don't stop her - she rarely gets up early enough to eat it during the week. I honestly thought the school would be sensible about this but what an absolute waste of everyone's time. I thought once I explained that she wasn't neglected or malnourished we could go on our way. Instead a load of hand wringing, unsubstantiated and unscientific bollocks about how important breakfast is and how clearly this is the reason dd felt light headed, even though she hasn't eaten breakfast before school the entire five weeks and this is the first day she has felt unwell.

For context - she is overweight. I'm not going to force another 300-400 calories that she doesn't desire or need at the only point of the day that she doesn't seem to be starving hungry! I make her a cup of tea each morning, she drinks plenty of water. Her house is first for lunch so she eats at 12ish!

It's half term next week and I'm not sure whether I should say anything to the school tomorrow or just let it lie.

OP posts:
TheDowagerCuntess · 27/10/2018 06:51

Breakfast kick starts my appetite, not my metabolism.

I haven't eaten breakfast regularly since I was a teen. If I eat it, I'm hungry again by about 10am.

As it is, I skip breakfast and then have a late lunch. No dizziness, plenty of energy and concentration. Often I'll have gone for a run in that time as well.

My BMI is right in the middle of healthy.

I feel pretty sure that our ancestors didn't head down to their cave kitchen and have a nice sugary breakfast every single morning.

They would've eaten if there was food and gone without when there wasn't.

Obviously times have changed, but I think as a species, we're probably more suited to skipping breakfast, than to religiously eating it, let alone having three square meals a day.

shearwater · 27/10/2018 07:01

My 13 year old daughter doesn't always have breakfast, and neither did I at her age. Sometimes she has something at school at the canteen is open early. She has to leave the house at 7.30 am and would often rather have a few more minutes in bed. I always facilitate her being able to eat something and often make her some toast. But some days she'd rather stay longer in bed. She isn't overweight and is doing extremely well at school.

shearwater · 27/10/2018 07:03

I agree, TheDowager.

Lostinlondon999 · 27/10/2018 07:09

I’ve read your OP. Not going to bother reading the other comments as I am so shocked by your post. I’m sure it’s been said already but skipping breakfast probably adds to your daughters weight gain.
Skipping breakfast is seriously unhealthy.
I would seriously go and educate yourself on a healthy diet.
Actively allowing your daughter to skip breakfast and you are confused why the school rang you. I’m sorry but whether you like to hear it or not, that is child neglect.

Sb74 · 27/10/2018 07:10

I think people are missing the point. The dd was ill due to not eating. Eating breakfast first thing may not suit everyone but you should eat before midday. Your body needs fuel and anyone who thinks otherwise is kidding themselves. You may get by until lunch but it’s not good for you in many ways. Yes, fasting can help heal your body but that is what happens when you sleep so no need to do it when awake. There are more negatives than positives to fasting. The dd needs to eat before lunch as she is now suffering not doing so plus the fact she is overweight is most likely linked with these bad habits. Whether you agree with breakfast or not is irrelevant, surely you realise you do actually need to eat to function?

Lostinlondon999 · 27/10/2018 07:14

This child is overweight. Skipping breakfast is counter productive for her.
I am willing to bet my life she binges around 11am in the school canteen.

Sb74 · 27/10/2018 07:15

The dowager. Cave men’s life expectancy was 25, so it’s a good job we have moved on since then in our understanding on diet and well-being well, some of us have anyway....

browneyes77 · 27/10/2018 07:24

I think people are missing the point. The dd was ill due to not eating

That’s not actually what the OP said. She felt ill and the school found out she’d had no breakfast and assumed this was the reason she felt ill.

Sb74 · 27/10/2018 07:32

Pretty good assumption, then. I think the op also thought this seeing as she’s made a big song and dance about her not having breakfast. Why are people arguing against what’s obvious? The school is not at fault. The OP needs to ensure her daughter eats properly. It’s not that hard really.

Lostinlondon999 · 27/10/2018 07:32

OP is offended she got a lecture on healthy eating.
With all due respect the school has worked with this mother before, as DD is 13. It is clear by reading a 2 min post that this mother is not caring for her child correctly. If I can gage that without meeting her, then I’m sure the school have picked up on it as well. I’m not saying OP is a bad mother but she definitely made the wrong choice and clearly needs educating on her mistake.

For anyone commenting that it is fine for her DD to skip breakfast at 13, actually it is not.
Whether anyone likes to accept it, I am obliged to raise a safeguarding concern at school if a child has skipped breakfast.

Sb74 · 27/10/2018 07:33

....When you the op it very much assumes she was ill due to not eating.

Lostinlondon999 · 27/10/2018 07:45

‘I don't encourage her to eat breakfast although I don't stop her’

This annoyed me. This is the type of phrasing that raises red flags and what education workers are trained to pick up on.

What OP should have said is....
‘I don’t encourage her to skip breakfast but I also don’t force her either’

There are always children who may skip breakfast for various reasons. This will always be discussed with the parent. The reason or reaction of the parent is is what is concerning in this thread.

Belindabauer · 27/10/2018 07:49

As a teenager I never, ever ate breakfast.
It didn't stop me being in the top class for every subject and passing all my exams.
I was never over weight.

shearwater · 27/10/2018 07:50

Secondary school must be raising safeguarding concerns for half the school on a daily basis if they are doing it for skipping breakfast.

mum8196 · 27/10/2018 07:53

I'd buy her some healthy cereal bars and put it in her bag! They can't say anything then your giving it to her it's up to her to eat it or not

Sb74 · 27/10/2018 07:58

Belinda that’s very nice for you but the dd in the thread is overweight and is starting to feel ill from not eating properly.

startingafresh1 · 27/10/2018 08:03

I realise some people can't face breakfast.

Not eating for 16 hours can cause issues with blood sugar- this is a fact.

Skipping breakfast is not a good way to loose weight. I've never heard anyone who understands safe weight loss recommending this approach.

So IMO it is unfortunate that OP's DD can't face breakfast as it's risking issues with blood sugar, energy dips and bad food choices later in the day.

School have a duty of care. They were right to raise concerns but they are now aware that OP's DD can't face breakfast so I guess that have done their bit.

Supporting someone in missing breakfast as a route to safe sensible weight loss is a bad idea.

browneyes77 · 27/10/2018 08:11

Pretty good assumption, then. I think the op also thought this seeing as she’s made a big song and dance about her not having breakfast.

Because the school made a song and dance about it. It’s an assumption not fact. As others have said there could be a multitude of reasons why her daughter fell ill. Non of us or the school by the sounds of it have given her daughter any sort of medical to ascertain the actual reason behind her falling ill.

What are her symptoms? Was she sick? Did she faint? How can anyone on here diagnose what was wrong with her daughter?

If she’s been seen by a Dr and the Dr says “she needs to eat breakfast as not doing so made her ill” then fair enough.

startingafresh1 · 27/10/2018 08:12

I don't think it's fair to bash the school for raising these concerns. People are very quick to accuse schools of not caring, and missing safeguarding issues.

Maybe they were wrong in this instance but at least they flagged a potential issue and dealt with it.

If they flag all potential issues it goes without saying that some will turn out to be genuine safeguarding issues, others will be false alarms.

startingafresh1 · 27/10/2018 08:17

If I was a school medical support worker faced with an unwell 13 year old I would surely be required to ask a number of questions including when and what the child last ate?

It's a fact that for most people eating regularly is important. Not for everyone but for most people. So once I'd found out that this child hadn't eaten breakfast I would add this to my list of potential causes.

Then I would take action by instigating a discussion with a parent- even if that parent was offended. I'd also be concerned if the parent was more annoyed by my intervention than they were concerned about their child feeling unwell.

Lostinlondon999 · 27/10/2018 08:21

The school have watched OP daughter go from a healthy weight to ‘obese’ in the past 2 years. Your words. It is very clear something is not right with her diet. She is still a growing child!

I can walk into my classroom and within 10mins I can tell who hasn’t had breakfast.

Funnily enough most children do eat breakfast.

So many posters have said they don’t eat breakfast but yet the majority are a healthy weight. OP DD in not. Meaning she’s probably binging in the day.

Eat when you’re hungry, eat when you feel dizzy? Why should be wait for our blood levels to drop. Is it not our job to regulate it?

OP joint comment. OMG, you work in education and made a comment like that. I cringed so hard when I read that.

browneyes77 · 27/10/2018 08:23

Maybe they were wrong in this instance but at least they flagged a potential issue and dealt with it.

Yes, I’d agree with that. I don’t feel there was anything wrong with the school flagging something and being concerned with a child’s welfare. I think lecturing a parent is unnecessary however, if the they don’t have solid reasons as to why that child fell ill.

PriscillaLydiaSellon · 27/10/2018 08:30

I bet you wish you'd never started this thread, OP. I think there's more rubbish on it than any thread I've ever read in 14 years of MNetting. The idea that a teenager refusing breakfast constitutes child neglect and represents a safeguarding issue beggars belief.

Lostinlondon999 · 27/10/2018 08:31

If it was a one off then OP probably wouldn’t have had a lecture. DD most likely informed the school that she hadn’t had breakfast in 5 weeks, indicating that a little chat with OP wouldn’t be substantial. Listening to what OP had to say, then it is safe to say she needed that lecture, although it clearly did not work.

TheDowagerCuntess · 27/10/2018 08:33

From the OP...

even though she hasn't eaten breakfast before school the entire five weeks and this is the first day she has felt unwell.

Maybe she's just unwell? If she regularly skips breakfast and this is the first time she's been unwell, maybe there's and chance they're not related?

Skipping breakfast is not a good way to loose weight. I've never heard anyone who understands safe weight loss recommending this approach.

I don't think anyone's advocating skipping breakfast as a means for losing weight, are they?

Just negating this nonsense that breakfast is crucial. It's not, and we were never designed to wake up and eat every day - this is a modern phenomenon.

Just like widespread obesity is a modern phenomenon.