Hauled into school because dd had no breakfast

[takeastand]

Got called into school as dd(13) felt unwell and it transpired she hadn't eaten. I don't encourage her to eat breakfast although I don't stop her - she rarely gets up early enough to eat it during the week. I honestly thought the school would be sensible about this but what an absolute waste of everyone's time. I thought once I explained that she wasn't neglected or malnourished we could go on our way. Instead a load of hand wringing, unsubstantiated and unscientific bollocks about how important breakfast is and how clearly this is the reason dd felt light headed, even though she hasn't eaten breakfast before school the entire five weeks and this is the first day she has felt unwell.

For context - she is overweight. I'm not going to force another 300-400 calories that she doesn't desire or need at the only point of the day that she doesn't seem to be starving hungry! I make her a cup of tea each morning, she drinks plenty of water. Her house is first for lunch so she eats at 12ish!

It's half term next week and I'm not sure whether I should say anything to the school tomorrow or just let it lie.

Actually not eating breakfast can be healthier for your body as it gives your body a longer time fasting to heal elsewhere needed. A lot of people seem to think of you skip breakfast your metabolism will slow down. So not true. I skipped breakfast all of my childhood and university. Actually, up until I was pregnant and I’ve always been a slim and healthy weight. I started eating breakfast when pregnant because I would feel super hungry and sick if I didn’t first thing. Now I eat breakfast around 10/11am and I’m still as slim as I was in high school. I think skipping breakfast or eating breakfast won’t make a difference with weight so much. It’s overall eating, metabolism and exercise.

Why do you think they have breakfast clubs? It's not because it makes it easier for the parent/s. It's to ensure pupils get the right start to the day.

Think how much energy it takes to grow parts of your body, particularly neurons in your brain forming pathways so you can retain information? How much energy it takes to deal with the fluctuating teenage hormones your DD has? Think how much energy she needs for her interactions with teachers, pupils, for walking to various lessons etc.

Not giving your child at least a slice of toast (which is around 99 calories a slice and maybe 60 calories for some butter) is depriving her of carbohydrates needed to be converted into energy.

Give her a slice of toast! 😂

"Why do you think they have breakfast clubs? It's not because it makes it easier for the parent/s. It's to ensure pupils get the right start to the day.

Think how much energy it takes to grow parts of your body, particularly neurons in your brain forming pathways so you can retain information? How much energy it takes to deal with the fluctuating teenage hormones your DD has? Think how much energy she needs for her interactions with teachers, pupils, for walking to various lessons etc.

Not giving your child at least a slice of toast (which is around 99 calories a slice and maybe 60 calories for some butter) is depriving her of carbohydrates needed to be converted into energy.

Give her a slice of toast! 😂"

The girl in question is 13 (I think, cba to read back) she can give herself a slice of toast if she wants it.

Just to clarify when I’ve said people don’t eat properly this includes mainly over eating, of course, that can lead to t2d- but skipping meals for hours on end routinely, then having big meals to compensate messes up your insulin and can also be a cause of developing t2d.

Whether breakfast is good or bad is really not the point.

Op should be ensuring that her child has a bag filled with protein bars, smoothies and fresh fruit that dd can eat on the go if necessary so that dd CAN eat when she is ready and does not resort to eating junk. Providing a healthy breakfast is NOT force feeding.

I strongly suspect that op discourages eating FULL STOP (and would not be the first) and her dd eats in secret to avoid the shame. The very fact she is drawing our attention to 'over weight' and 'obese society (mine inc)' does indicates to me a person that has her own eating and weight issues, or has done in the past and is doing a great job of passing it on to her dd.

My dd is slim, but if she wasn't I would still insist on a healthy breakfast, she needs energy to focus and concentrate and you can't do that if you are starving hungry. Your dd's goal is to surely to be clever, confident and independent ready for the world regardless of how she looks no? It certainly should never ever depend on her size op. Or have we gone back 30 years without me noticing.

Forcing myself to always eat breakfast cos it was "good for you" has led me to have weight problems all my adult life. I've only just learnt that actually I can go quite easily till 1/2 in the afternoon before eating and that suits my metabolism far better.

Means I have a calorie allowance free for the afternoon and evening when I DO want to eat! So much better. And I'm no hungrier than if I had started eating at the crack of dawn.

As others have pointed out, the theory behind obligatory breakfasting has been thoroughly debunked. Far better to have a fasting period, but make sure you stick to low GI foods - proteins and good fat, with limited carbs.

Triwarrier - really? So proud.

Utterly ridiculous.
What are they - social workers now ?
I NEVER ate breakfast all through school - couldn't face food until break time.
The education system is a joke and has completely lost the plot.

I would let it lie OP and not waste any more of your time n it. I think as long as you have bread in kitchen for her to make toast or cereal and milk then at 13 she is responsible for feeding herself the simplest meal of the day! Shouldn’t school be encouraging self care at that age?

Yes, you’re right, they should just ignore a child feeling faint and hungry. Much better solution.

Surely 10.30-11am is when school have a break in lessons and food can be consumed mandarin

Sorry, but anyone I know who regularly skips breakfast, generally have unhealthy eating habits too. They struggle with lack of energy and have weight issues too. They seem to think that missing the morning meal because they’re just not hungry...will help. It’s a vicious circle. I’m now (late) middle aged..5ft 6, have always weighed 8st, and have never skipped breakfast in my life. All my kids have the same approach, and have never had weight issues. I think if your child has a weight problem at 13, there is something that needs addressing.

Sorry OP but having breakfast has been shown in studies to help aid concentration levels in the morning and you will probably find that she is over consuming at lunch etc because she's then got a crash and eats more.

The studies actually shows one of the best ways to eat and avoid over eating is smaller meals at more regular intervals not skipping meals.

Also she can easily have a breakfast which isn't 400 calories and full of sugar. High protein yogurt or quark with fruit and a small amount of honey and some oats etc will keep her full for a long time and is about 150 calories.

Sb74 au contraire - Intermittent fasting diets have actually been used to CURE type 2 diabetes - that is how the theory was first tested!

Sorry, but anyone I know who regularly skips breakfast, generally have unhealthy eating habits too. They struggle with lack of energy and have weight issues too.

I’m 41 and I’ve regularly skipped breakfast for years because I’m never hungry early in the morning. And I often find that when I have eaten something for breakfast I actually feel more hungry by mid morning than I would if I hadn’t bothered.

I also don’t have unhealthy eating habits - I eat a balanced diet and go to the gym and have never struggled with my weight. I also recently had a health check (because I’m now over 40) and was informed my weight is spot on for my height and I have a healthy BMI.

So just because you know people like that, doesn’t mean everyone else who skips brekkie will be the same or follow suit.

OP - not sure if this has been mentioned or not but could she take one of those cereal bars with her to eat if she finds she’s not hungry until a bit later?

I never ate breakfast before school either when I was a teen. We had a break late morning and I’d have something then if I was hungry.

Adnerb95 that's fine. You have found what didn't work for you and what now does.

But this is a teenager who is going through hormonal changes, growth spurts, long periods of concentration, her brain is forming new neural pathways and absorbing information at a vast rate.

I don't think you can really give advice dished out for adults. Our metabolism are different to that of a teenager and we have gone past that development stage.

Triwarrior -does depend what you are eating, eg nuts with berries are a good combo so insulin levels don’t rise too much and low GI or GL foods that are slow releasing eg porridge, lizis granola, weetabix - things that don’t spike your sugars. Granary bread over the other two breads and of course shopping white over processed pastas, rice etc for brown & I avoid potatoes as they spike my sugars too. Sometimes it’s about the combinations of food we eat. But a banana in the morning is better than nothing but combining it with something would be better. And of course eating regular meals - not late like I have to do at the moment unfortunately

Lots of these studies on eating breakfast are very old like the advice nhs uses.

I'm 81; don't have breakfast. Still here.

Breakfast is really important and the fact that she isn’t having it could be contributing to her being overweight; she may getting ravenously hungry because she’s going without food until 12. If I was in your shoes, I’d think about encouraging a healthy diet with a healthy breakfast. You may have already done this but being overweight/ skipping meals can’t be good for your daughter. I’m with the school on this one :(.

And I often find that when I have eaten something for breakfast I actually feel more hungry by mid morning than I would if I hadn’t bothered

Because you have kick started your metabolism 😊 It's a good thing and means your body is doing what it is supposed to.

When I was doing Insanity workouts, I had to eat 5 or 6 times a day. I was also intermittent fasting so I had to cram 2000 -
2500 calories into 10 hours which was no easy feat. But I always found after eating in the morning, 2 hours later I would always be hungry again, just like yourself. Just means your metabolism is fired up which means burning of calories. Yay 😄

Being hungry isn't a bad thing if it's for a genuine reason I.e. hunger. Boredom is not a good reason, nor is habit. Or thirst.
If it's genuine hunger, why deny your body what it's asking for?

(For those of you just about to jump in and say 'Well what about morbidly obese people? They're genuinely hungry'. Yes, they are but in those circumstances their stomach has been stretched to such large proportions that their feelings of satiety have not been fulfilled.)

I am a normalish size 10/12 but had GD so looked into avoiding T2D further down the line so just switched. Doesn’t matter sometimes about your weight it’s your overall health and how you feel. It’s hard being a teen at the best of times

Jenny17 it's quite embarrassing really... It's not just our NHS docs. Doctors in America are terrible with nutrition advice aswell (unless they're nutrition experts).

It's really not as simple as calories in and calories out. There's alot more to it. It's never one size fits all for any diagnosis so why they treat weight problems the same way baffles me sometimes.

I highly recommend reading Genius Foods by Max Lugavere, to everyone. Very interesting read.

YANBU regarding school calling you in. What a waste of time - something that could have easily been discussed over a phone call.

YABU about breakfast not being important . If you would like her to lose weight , encourage her to eat breakfast as it will kick start her metabolism and she won't binge as much at lunch and dinner or snack. You're right, most people struggle to eat too early (I prefer 10am myself as does my DS). Encourage her, but if she doesn't eat , you can't force her.