A couple of weekends ago we had Sunday lunch with my in-laws. My mother in law had some juice in a lemonade bottle that she told me she'd made herself. She gave me a glass and told me it wasn't alcoholic. I double checked this and she swore blind that it was just juice. It tasted just like juice, nothing strange about it - and it was like 11am so I didn't think any more about it.
Later on during the meal my 3.5 year old daughter needed a drink so I asked my mother in law what to give her. She said anything on the kitchen counter would do so I poured my daughter a cup of the juice and thought no more about it.
Two hours or so later my mother in law was a bottle or so deep in white wine. I was having a joke with someone and she pointed at me and accused me of being drunk. I replied that there was no way I could be drunk because I'd only been drinking the juice she made.
She then chose to reveal that this "juice" was made from 50% tropical J2O and 50% neat vodka. She'd given it to me mixed with flat lemonade, but I'd given it to my toddler as was. And I had no idea how much my daughter had drunk. My father in law said her cup was full when he cleared the table - but I'd only filled it 2/3rds full so that didn't add up. Meanwhile my mother in law's reaction was "well, you gave it to her." as if I know it had vodka in it!
The whole next day my daughter was down in the dumps, didn't eat, had a headache, was dizzy and was generally too ill to go to nursery. My husband was at work so when I told her she'd been ill all day (despite the fact she'd been up three times in the night and uncharacteristically wet herself twice the day of the juice) he alternately said it was down to her recent injections/me overreacting. I had to flat out accuse him if gaslighting me before he accepted that maybe the whole situation was not ideal.
The in-laws have previous - when DD was barely walking they took her out and got her badly burned with splinters in her feet from walking on a pier with little/no sunscreen. She nearly ended up in a burns unit, and me and my husband had to hold her down as a doctor pulled out a dozen or so large splinters.
My husband has now started arranging for my daughter to stay with them for a few days. I'm not sure what to say about this - he wants me to have the conversation with them because it's me that's unhappy, but I almost need a script or something. Do I say they can't look after her? Do I say they need to take better care? Or am I, as my husband thinks, overreacting?