to ask how I talk about my traumatic birth experience?

[HarmonyMiles]

I gave birth to my beautiful baby on Monday. It was a horrible experience that has really affected me psychologically. I'm struggling to get my head round it.

I want to talk about it on mn and get some opinions but as it's quite a specific birth story, not sure how to go about it. The chances of anyone recognising me are quite slim I guess. Would it matter if they did? Probably not,

I just really need to voice what happened and learn to let go of any resentment that I hold towards the hospital staff who well and truly screwed up.

I am a bit of a mess and don't know what to do. I want my birth experience back. I know I can't have it. I'm just all over the place and I know the birth is weighing on me :(

[PourSomeSugarOnMoi]

I'm very sorry to hear this OP. I too, had a very traumatic birth.

What really pisses me off is that medical staff (not all, but seemingly a high proportion) are so blinded by statistics that they lump all births into one predictable process, in which they make (often terrible) assumptions on how things will pan out. Because 'statistically' that's what will happen.

It makes me so angry when I read about things like this. Women being completely dismissed and left in agony, all because some useless midwife or doctor on an ego trip think that they know best in all cases without exception.

OP all I can say, from my own experience, is that you will be in shock, it will take time to process it. You are allowed to be angry, you were horribly let down. It does get better with time but for now, just go easy on yourself.

[PourSomeSugarOnMoi]

Oh and I also remember feeling like I genuinely wanted to die. I was willing it to happen. That should not bloody happen due to incompetence!

[Barbie222]

I'm so sorry to hear about all of the above.

Agree 100% that nothing can prepare you - you see this on the face of every woman who's just given birth no matter what.

I wonder if it was always this way but it's easier today to hear the full range of experiences as we have the internet now. Not sure if this helps or hinders sometimes!

[Littlemissdaredevil]

What makes me angry is @harmonymiles, mine, and many others birth trauma could have easily been avoided if we had just been listened to and actually received some care.

No way would a man be allowed to scream in agony in A&E for hours where the reason for the pain was known. Nor would he be told he was silly, making a fuss or imagining his symptoms