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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I right in being slightly annoyed?

270 replies

RottenTomatoes959 · 25/10/2018 09:29

For reference I am Irish living in Ireland.

I took DS to soft play over the weekend and got chatting to an English woman who was there with her DD.
Her DD starting having tantrum as 3 year olds tend to do and she starting laughing and joking with me over her throwing " a paddy".

Maybe she didn't understand the negative connotations of it but using this phrase to an Irish person in Ireland is a bit bloody stupid.

She ended up taking her DD and leaving so I didn't say anything but I wish I did.
Do I have right to be slightly annoyed by this?

OP posts:
Jeanclaudejackety · 25/10/2018 09:32

My Irish dad often says that phrase to be honest I didn't know it was offensive but it is discussed a lot on here so if you search it you'll find loads of threads

JustOneCornettoooooo · 25/10/2018 09:33

I thought paddy just meant tantrum. Does it have a hidden meaning?

HereForTheLineEyes · 25/10/2018 09:34

I live in N.Ireland and I've never heard that expression before.

OhDoGrowUp · 25/10/2018 09:34

I don’t like this phrase either. But you’ll probably have people on here saying it’s nothing to do with Ireland and it’s something to do with paddy fields? Anyway, I don’t like it and wish people wouldn’t use it too.

If English friends use it in front of me I make a jokey comment to point it out.

Did you hear Donald trump talking about throwing people in the back of the paddy wagon recently? I meant to ask people on here as I thought that was bad too, but wasn’t sure if I was being overly sensitive.

Elllicam · 25/10/2018 09:34

I didn’t realise it was offensive either I’m afraid (Scottish)

Singlenotsingle · 25/10/2018 09:36

Not really. It's a very common term and I would never have thought it had anything to do with being Irish until you mentioned it. We have to be so careful these days. I bet if you researched into the origins of the phrase, it's got nothing to do with being Irish. I might have to check it out myself now!

BarbaraStressland · 25/10/2018 09:36

I didn't know it had negative connotations. I thought it just meant having a tantrum.

YANBU to be annoyed if you're aware of other connotations.

YABU to not politely tell her about these connotations.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 25/10/2018 09:36

It's not related to Ireland though. It's a word that has more than one meaning.

OhDoGrowUp · 25/10/2018 09:37

I think the insinuation is that Irish people are prone to aggression? So throwing a paddy is acting like an aggressive Irish person. Could be wrong though.

That’s why I don’t like it though, as I know equally aggressive English, Scottish, Welsh, American etc etc as I do Irish.

Historically, Irish people are probably known for having tantrums against the English. You know, starved to death during the potato, so they got a bit tantrummy.

Original poster
RottenTomatoes959 · 25/10/2018 09:37

@justonecornetto it's a phrase mainly used by the English, it comes from them thinking the Irish can't control their temper.

OP posts:
OhDoGrowUp · 25/10/2018 09:37

Potato famine*

Zeitgei5t · 25/10/2018 09:37

I used it until an Irish friend pointed out the connotations. I thought it was just a word that meant tantrum. However I've made a conscious effort not to use it since now I know.

Ifailed · 25/10/2018 09:37

having a paddy comes from the 19th century 'paddywhack', which was used to imply Irish men were given to fighting. In that respect it is offensive.

Jeanclaudejackety · 25/10/2018 09:37

What about people who are actually called Paddy?!

Snappedandfarted2018 · 25/10/2018 09:39

We use here in the north and don’t particularly link it to irish. We also use canny for being nice.

Orchidflower1 · 25/10/2018 09:39

I think it’s a northern English phrase. My friend a work uses it to refer to his dc having a strop/ sulk. He’s from Bradford and I had to get him to explain what he meant. Others I know would say “the hump” or “sulk/ strop”. Probably said by the mum unthinkingly.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 25/10/2018 09:39

So many words have many meanings. Some meanings are offensive. Some are not. This is one of those words.

Sorry, I get where you're coming from but in this case I think YABU.

(Also, isn't there a nappy company called Paddy Pants?)

Original poster
RottenTomatoes959 · 25/10/2018 09:40

I know I should have said it to her but I was a bit in shock that she would be so blasè about it and she left quite quickly then. It is offensive.
I never even knew that phrase existed until a few years ago when I went to England for the first time and heard it.

OP posts:
DontCallMeCharlotte · 25/10/2018 09:41

Ifailed I didn't know that. Maybe I'm wrong.

Mymywhatnow · 25/10/2018 09:43

Oh wow I use this all this time and never ever connected it to being offensive or anything to do with the Irish.

YABU and YANBU it will not have been meant in that way but I get why, if you think it is connected it would be annoying. I shall try and stop using it now. Perhaps just gently point it out?

I used to say “having a right epi” until I realised it meant epileptic fit! People don’t think and need time to realise/learn. I think we have to consider intent.

Solderingiron · 25/10/2018 09:44

I'm Irish in Ireland and I would have been annoyed too. Its very ride of her to say it in Ireland, to Irish people! It is offensive to Irish people as it implies we all drink and fight. If someone said it to me I would pull them up on it. Thankfully I've never heard it in real life just on here.

Choosausa · 25/10/2018 09:46

yabu. I very much doubt the other mum even realised what she said yet alone it be offensive to you. it's just a lighthearted phrase used to describe having a bit of a tantrum. There's too much pc and depth going into day to day things that we're not allowed to say anything anymore before we've looked words up before we use them for fear of being told it's inappropriate.

Lots of phrases get passed down the generations and sometimes the origin becomes lost.
Do you think she would really say that if she knew you thought it meant that?

Nidy · 25/10/2018 09:49

OP thanks so much for pointing this out - I believe people genuinely didn't link the association with this phrase, but being Irish myself and with a soon called Paddy, It's horribly insulting.. Thanks again

Deadringer · 25/10/2018 09:50

I am Irish living in Ireland too and I have never heard this phrase in real life. I wouldn't be offended at all, unless she was an unpleasant person who was deliberately trying to cause offence, which wasn't the case here. But we are all different, if it offends you it offends you.

OhDoGrowUp · 25/10/2018 09:52

“I very much doubt the other mum even realised what she said yet alone it be offensive to you. it's just a lighthearted phrase used to describe having a bit of a tantrum. There's too much pc and depth going into day to day things that we're not allowed to say anything anymore before we've looked words up before we use them for fear of being told it's inappropriate.
Lots of phrases get passed down the generations and sometimes the origin becomes lost.
Do you think she would really say that if she knew you thought it meant that?”

So what? She didn’t know. But the op is within her rights to “be slightly annoyed” to hear the phrase isn’t she? Nobody is saying it’s a hate crime or that the woman should be thrown in jail for it. But it is an annoying phrase for some people.

I wouldn’t hate anyone for saying it, but I would point it out.