AIBU Engaged to DP after 5 months of dating...

[ButterflyRuns]

Hi everyone. My DP and I have been seeing each other since May, and at my 37th birthday party this last weekend he proposed. I know he's the one for me (cliché I know), we've been inseparable and I'm moving in with him in November. We had discussed marriage, and due to my age want to start a family together sooner rather than later, (we both have no children). My family have been very supportive, but my Mum shared concerns that I'm rushing into it too fast and not seeing the full picture because of my desire to have children - I would like to have more than one child with him and start our family soon after our wedding which will be in the summer (hopefully). Has anyone else become engaged quickly and how did those around you react? I know people in my life probably think I'm crazy.

[Rockbird]

We were engaged within 3 months. No one around us batted an eyelid, which was strange looking back! My family are usually a load of fusspots . Anyway, we've been together 20 years now. If it feels right, do it. Life is too short.

[ThirdChildFourthPile]

You just wanna tell everyone on Mumsnet you're engaged, admit it

Congratulations!

[ButterflyRuns]

Thanks, Rockbird. It feels right and I know that there's no better time to do it - I can't wait forever, and we feel like there's no point dragging out our relationship. I think if I was 10 years younger things would be much different, but I feel like I don't have a lot to lose at this point in my life, I love him and I want nothing more than to have a family. We both have stable jobs and any children will be really loved.

[ButterflyRuns]

Thank you ThirdChildFourthPile! I will admit I'm very excited about our engagement and wedding! I may have already started planning things. But hopefully others on here can provide some insight too

[PurpleFlower1983]

You’re more focused on what you want abc you know what’s right sooner when you’re older. Good luck to you both!

[GhoulMythicalMoooaning]

When you know you know.

[Dickybow321]

I think I would just go for it in your shoes . Congrats ! Xx

[Fruitbatdancer]

I clicked on this thread to see if you were my cousin who’s just gotten engaged after a whirlwind romance.

Your not so I’ll stand down. Her fiancé is a complete knob who none of us can stand (controlling, arrogant and obnoxious! -also a ‘cant get a job or else csa will steak all my money type knobhead)

If it feels right, do it!

[Flightywoman]

My husband proposed on our 4th weekend together - about 9 weeks after we met in person, and 4 months after we first exchanged emails. It was a total surprise as we hadn't discussed anything like that at all.

Yes. it was totally bonkers! Yes, it was absurdly quick! I said yes at once!

My friends were all a bit concerned.

We've been married 12 years.

Sometimes you have to leap into the void...

Congratulations!

[ButterflyRuns]

Thank you everyone! I said this to my Mum (whos lovely don’t get me wrong) I think she’s just worried about her only daughter, because she does really like DP and would love for me to finally settle down.

[dingdongdigeridoo]

Congratulations! Yes, it’s quick, but I think most of us know whether it’s right or not pretty early on.

Will you be living together for long before the wedding? Being in close quarters and going through the ups and downs of life is important. Make sure you have the big conversations like how many kids you want, money, careers, retirement plans etc. There are a lot of threads on here where people have been married for years and not discussed these things with their DH.

[AriadnePersephoneCloud]

Engaged within a couple of months, married within the year. Still very happily married. Sometimes it's not a question of time. I'd had longer relationships before I met Mr cloud, but something was different.

[2018SoFarSoGreat]

Congratulations. I am a firm believer in the 'when you know you know' maxim.

Met my DH end of March while on 2 week holiday, wrote/called for several months and returned Halloween, engaged Christmas Eve, Married two weeks later (issue of outstaying visa did put the marriage into a rush but not the engagement.) That was 38 years ago next week. Still love each other to bits.

[ButterflyRuns]

Thank you dingdongdigeridoo I definitely knew it was right from when we began dating. He's a great man and I'm completely in lov with him. We'll be living together from next month and I'm aiming for the wedding to be in June, so about 8 months, which I think is definitely long enough. I didn't want the engagement to be short, because I do want to have a nice wedding (it'll still be a push to do it all in that) but touch wood. We've actually had a lot of the big conversations. We both want to have more than one child, so obviously not leaving it too late.

That's great AriadnePersephoneCloud that you're both still going so strong. I've had other long relationships too, I was in a two year relationship not long ago but it never felt right in the same way.

[Fucksgiven]

God woman, get on with it. 22 years ago on Friday I married dh who I met 5 months before. We are still happy.

[ButterflyRuns]

Thank you 2018SoFarSoGreat and congratulations on your long marriage! It's certainly proof that when you know, you know. My grandparents were the same, married at 17 and were together until my gramps passed.

[ButterflyRuns]

Congratulations on your anniversary Fucksgiven! I probably would get married straight away if it wasn't for my desire to have a nice wedding, and of course we want some time living together to prepare.

[Loonoon]

I agree when you know, you know. I got engaged after 2 months, married after 14 months and I was only in my 20s. That’s over 30 years ago now.

Congratulations.

[HeddaGarbled]

I think you and everyone else knows that it’s your urgency to have a child that is making you rush into this.

5 months is still in the honeymoon period.

You will hit reality at about 1 year in. The romantic glow will dim and his flaws will be more glaring. The same will go for him and your flaws.

But that doesn’t mean it can’t work out long term. If neither of you are completely nasty, if you can accept that all relationships can be difficult at times, if there is enough affection and decency and common ground to carry you through the troughs, you stand as good a chance as any other couple. There are plenty of couples with longer run ups who get divorced.

[DramaAlpaca]

MIL & FIL got engaged six weeks after they met & were blissfully happy for 50 years. When you know, you just know.

[ButterflyRuns]

Thank you for your honesty HeddaGarbled. I know that my desire to have children with a partner is a large part of this, but at the same time I know that it feels right and I wouldn't just marry anyone - I did last time and that only went and ended in divorce. I know that a marriage isn't easy at all, but I'm ready to give it everything and I feel like we are compatible and can make it work out in the long term. There's a lot of affection, and he's a great boyfriend (now fiancee) to me.

[Dickybow321]

If you were 25-30 I'd be advising caution and I'm pretty sure every one else would be too. But you're not spring chickens and you both seem to be on the same page. So go for it. If it goes wrong you'll be in the same situation those of us who did it younger and didn't rush it and still broke up are in. At least you have the chance of one or two children before it's too late and no regrets!

Sorry to be THAT person

[ButterflyRuns]

Don't apologise at all Dickybow321, that's how I've looked at it too, but I think at 37 I know what my priorities are and when something seems right or wrong (sorry to keep being repetitive with that). As an unmarried 37 year old woman with no children I have nothing to lose, but a lovely husband and children to gain so I may as well go for it.

[Rebecca36]

Get married before next summer. Do it at Christmas or early new year.
I hope you have as many babies as you want!

[CandyCreeper]

personally i feel its way too soon only 5 months however im obviously in the minority as im always at how quick people seem to move in/marry/ have children on this site.