To ask EXACTLY how you put your 6month to 1 year baby down for a sleep?

[StinkySaurus]

I have an 8month old and if you read the sleep board you will know she isn’t a great sleeper so I would really appreciate an insight as to how you all put your babies down for a nap and nighttime sleep.

What I have found on the internet and speaking to people always sound so vague. So I would really appreciate if you could share detail. So for example.... how long do you stay in the room when you put them in the cot? Do you put in the cot completely asleep or wide awake? Do you let them cry when they first go in and for how long?

Sorry for posting here but I’m desperate and tired and could really use the AIBU traffic. So wise mums and dads , please share as many details as possible and hopefully it will enable me to get some much needed sleep!

Thank you so so much!

Would love to know also!

DD feeds to sleep (bottle fed) I sit on a chair in her room and feed her, sometimes she'll fall asleep on the bottle other times not until I've put the dummy in
She lays in my arms until completely asleep
I put her in her cot and sneak out

This is for daytime naps and nighttime sleeps
She has a bath and I put her into a sleeping bag at night, she goes into a baby cushion thing with a blanket on during the day

Mine have all been different.

One would just go into sleeping bag, into cot with comfort blanket and dummy and go to sleep.

One I breastfed to sleep until 9 months, boob out dummy in and into cot. At 9 months I did pick up/put down to get him self settling then I would put him in the cot, give him his dummy and pat his bottom a boy til he was asleep.

One I put in sleeping bag, give her comfort blanket and put some lullabies on. Sometimes she goes straight to sleep, sometimes I pat her in her cot for a couple of minutes until asleep and sometimes I give her a bottle with 3oz milk.

DD is a year old but has had the same sleep routine for 6 months.

Bedtime goes like this:
Take her up to her room (this is changing atm as she seems to have an aversion to the changer)
Put her in a clean nappy, clean vest and her sleeping bag.
Have a quick cuddle (30 seconds, if that). If DH is home we might have time for a story but that's rare now.
Bottle with lights down low and her white noise toy on.
Give her dummy, give her a kiss and put her down on her front in the cot with her comforter.
Walk out immediately.
Sometimes she'll cry for 10 seconds but then will fall asleep. Daytime naps are just the steps after bottle.

I will say we are extraordinarily lucky with dd's sleep but the routine has been LONG in the making. Her cot is for sleeping only, we never put her in there for play or to hold her whilst I pop to the toilet etc. We've used her comforter almost from birth (I used to pop it under my top so it smelled like me). Again the comforter only lives in the cot and is associated with sleep.

We have let her cry it out once or twice but would always go in first. She knows we will come if she needs us but she doesn't get to cry when nothing is wrong and we come running.

Basically I read a lot about creating negative sleep associations and tried to create positive ones instead. She can sleep without her comforter for example but she looks for it when she gets in the cot so it helps.

My third one does sometimes cry for a few minutes but if it is just a tired grumpy cry I leave her.

I have a 2yo and an 8mo who don't nap at the same time which makes things "interesting".

Both sleep in our bed. I normally either

• feed 8mo to sleep in our bed and then leave after about 5 mins of clear sleep, putting blanket over him so he still feels presence.
• transfer 8mo from wherever he's fallen asleep (in sling or feeding on sofa) to the bed, lie with my arms around him for 5-10 minutes, put blanket over and leave.

It might be that they're sensing you're not there, you could try leaving a worn t-shirt next to/under them. It can take 25mins for a deep sleep to be established and my 2yo went through a phase of waking up as soon as I left the room, my solution was to put them in a sling where it didn't matter whether they were awake or not

During the day Plop wide awake into cot in sleeping bag or with blanket. Leave room.

Night- around 6pm we have bath, bottle and then around 7 ish we go up and baby lies there while I read older one story and then gets put into cot and light off and I leave. My older one was the same. If he cries I go back up and shh him for a sec and leave room again. I have never hung around in the room with them.

I agree with the mention of sleep associations - cot, sleeping bag, dummies, comforters, special songs, music, books, toys, white noise. You want everything cosy and snuggly and cueing "sleep" at nap time.

I think it is a combination of luck and being willing to let them cry a bit if I’m honest. Mine has always been an exceptional sleeper so there is a big element of luck but I never fed to sleep because she had teeth early and I have had a consistent routine from 6 weeks so have possibly helped things a long a bit. I do think the routine helped a bit because I was less strict during the day and my daughter only napped while being cuddled until she was 10 months old and we had enough and did sleep training.

Since she dropped a nighttime bottle (can’t remember when she did that or at what point she had it) we’ve done milk, dinner bath, teeth, story and then into bed while still awake. When she was about 6-8 months, I used to stay and sing to her in the dark and then gradually retreat as she got drowsy. I realised quite quickly that when she was overtired, cuddling her wouldn’t actually comfort her, she’d just get more pissed off as she wanted to be asleep (which was seemingly the opposite to the day!). She was happier when I left her to get on with it. That was a very specific cry though and it was different if she was in pain, poorly, scared etc. On those occasions we had to cuddle her back to sleep and she needed our comfort.

I also think it helped that my baby was early for all her gross motor skills- it meant she was knackered by the end of the day.

I think what works for some people, doesn't work for others so I wouldn't get yourself too wound up.
My DS is almost 2, My he's great in the day, will fall asleep anywhere and be transferred to bed or can take him up awake (but sleepy) put him in the cot and he'll go to sleep. I do stay till he's asleep.
At night, he was breastfed to sleep till about 14 months.
Since then, at night he's much harder, we go up, teeth, stories and then into bed. Then DH or I stay in the room (we have a pull out futon which is next to the cot) till he falls asleep, it normally takes an hour!!!! We hate it, but once he's asleep he sleeps through and even if he wakes in the night 9 times out of 10 he will self settle, so I'm happy to take the bad with the good.
We tried controlled crying for 3 nights and it was horrific! I found it stressful and draining and it got to the point where DS would have a complete meltdown when we were going up to bed (he's always been calm till that point). Also each of those nights he ended up falling asleep cuddling me (literally wouldn't let go and would scream if I tried to detach myself), absolutely exhausted from crying. I wouldn't do it again, I hated myself.

TBH I am worried about how we're going to cope when DC2 arrives! But I guess one parent does one and the other does the other! Or pray that DS starts to sleep after 15 minutes rather than 60!

I did a routine, then left them to settle. There was crying.

With my eldest at that age we cuddled him to sleep. We would give him the dummy and cuddle him until he was asleep. Back then I had a comfy chair set up in his room. Then I put him in the sleeping bag in the cot. It would usually take about 15 mins of sitting with him. He didn't settle himself off to sleep until he was nearly 1. He'd have his last bottle a little bit before bed to let it go down because he had reflux. He slept all night though so I didn't mind spending that time with him.

With my youngest, I got him to self settle for naps, mainly because I couldn't have him cuddled to sleep with his 2YO brother wanting me as well. For naps I put on white noise, gave him his dummy, put him in the sleeping bag and just left the room. I was usually in the next room with his brother or had the video monitor on, so would go and resettle him if I needed to. But he usually nodded off on his own within about 15 mins.

At night, I would feed him in a chair in the bedroom (he was still in DH and I's room) and would then cuddle him to sleep if he hadn't fed to sleep. I usually held him for about 30 mins after his feed again cos of the reflux! Then I put him down in the sleeping bag in the cot. Again, he slept well at night so didn't mind cuddling to sleep.

Nappy change, in sleeping bag, books, bottle, cuddle, in cot drowsy and then leave pretty quickly.

This bit was always easy enough for us - the main issue was getting him to stay asleep. We did controlled crying at around 9/10 months which worked in 3 nights

They were all different.

Ds1 had a story and a bottle in the living room and went to bed awake and I left the room and he settled himself.

Ds2 would have a story and his bottle in his room with low lights. He didn’t fall asleep with cuddles so went into his cot awake and I would sit with him until he went to sleep. Usually it took 30 mins or sometimes sometimes much longer. He usually woke at some point later in the evening before midnight and came into our bed.

Ds3 went into his cot after a bottle and story, he was awake and we listened to music/patted until he went to sleep which usually took10-15 mins.

It is hard when you have a child who is hard to settle/doesn’t sleep well, ds2 didn’t sleep through reliably until he was 3 and then we had night terrors. He is almost 6 now and still sometimes wakes in the night but now just comes into our room and gets into bed with us. He says it feels like the safest place in the world

When I do bedtime ( 6 mo ) just change nappy into sleeping bag dummy in mobile on leave then tidy up downstairs .
Bottle is 30 mins before bed cos she’s very puky.

When dh does it same as beginning. Doesn’t leave lies in bed watches sports results on phone and then without fail falls asleep.
In fairness she’s a great sleeper very lucky

Since our 13 month old has been sleeping in his room (9 month onwards) we give him bottle, change the nappy, put a PJ and sleeping bag, dim the light and put him in his cot while still awake (we read to him before the bottle). Once in the cot me or DP sit and sing (or tell stories) next to the cot until he falls asleep then quietly leave the room. Most times he will fall asleep by himself after 15 - 20 min. Sometimes he cries, we then pick him up, soothe him and put him back down. If we know he is really tired and cranky we might let him cry little bit, but only very very shortly. If he's very unsettled/poorly/teething we let him fall asleep on us then transfer him to his cot once he is asleep. Apologies for any typos.

8 month old, been this way since about 5 months

Naps - put her in her cot, with a blanket and a comforter. Give her a kiss and leave the room immediately, pull door shut.

Bedtime - put in sleepsuit and sleeping bag. Has a bottle in her room in the dark. Burp. Put her down and walk out, pull door shut.

DD2 has just turned one and at 10 Months we did controlled crying in anticipation of me going back to work.
There were a lot of tears the first couple of nights. Now she knows that her cot is for sleeping and as soon as we put her in her grow bag and give her a comforter she turns over and goes to sleep.
We do the same routine every night- bath, story, bed. When she's tired in the day and she's upstairs with me she toddles into her room and stands by her cot as if to tell me she wants to go to sleep.
I won't lie the first couple of nights were pretty awful and appreciate letting them cry it out is not for everyone!

Thanks for everyone’s replies. So it seems like you need to let your baby cry ( I don’t mean CIO, it just seems like most posters let their babies cry for the first 5 mins or so?) in order for them to learn to sleep?

Definitely don’t need to let them cry. Mine takes naps in sling, backpack or buggy. She sleeps in our bed at night and just sleeps on one of our laps until we go up to bed all together. I feed her to sleep, husband gives her a dummy and sings to her. If she doesn’t go easily we leave it and try again a little later.

Yep worked for us. Took about 3 days of controlled crying and she now self settles every nap and night

I cosleep with my son, for bedtime and naps I just lie down on the bed with him and feed him lying down until he falls asleep then I roll away. Occasionally he won’t feed so I just pick him up and rock him until he falls asleep and then put him down.

For naps I do the same but we are often out and about so then he just naps in his buggy or car seat

He’s 9 months

No I never left mine to cry.

I used to take DS1 for a walk in the pushchair or go and lie down in bed with him and nap together. We co-slept at night time. I appreciate this might not work if you have other DC to think about.

DS2 is an odd unicorn baby who will go down sleepy and fall asleep by himself I didn't do anything to encourage that and in fact he won't fall asleep on the boob unless he is exhausted so I really think it is luck of the draw and what works for one etc.

The No Cry Sleep Solution was helpful. There is one specifically geared for naps.

(Noting that DS2 is not yet 6m, sorry, forgot to add that.)