To ask EXACTLY how you put your 6month to 1 year baby down for a sleep?

[StinkySaurus]

I have an 8month old and if you read the sleep board you will know she isn’t a great sleeper so I would really appreciate an insight as to how you all put your babies down for a nap and nighttime sleep.

What I have found on the internet and speaking to people always sound so vague. So I would really appreciate if you could share detail. So for example.... how long do you stay in the room when you put them in the cot? Do you put in the cot completely asleep or wide awake? Do you let them cry when they first go in and for how long?

Sorry for posting here but I’m desperate and tired and could really use the AIBU traffic. So wise mums and dads , please share as many details as possible and hopefully it will enable me to get some much needed sleep!

Thank you so so much!

Naps- walk around in the sling then un-clip into buggy (we had a Baby Bjorn)/ walked him round the block in the buggy.

DS bf to sleep at that age, then I'd very very carefully lower him into his cot.

Nearly 6 month old DS here.
Daytime naps I shut the curtains and zip him into his sleep bag and put into the cot with his dummy and put his white noise on. I leave the room and pop back after 5 minutes. He's usually fallen asleep but if not I pop dummy back in and shush for 30 seconds or so (without picking him up) and leave.

At nighttime he has his bath and then once he's in his pjs and sleep bag I feed him in his nursery in the dark (just night light on). Sometimes he falls asleep and I put him in cot. Usually he's awake but sleepy and I put him down on cot and he's asleep within 5 minutes. Doesn't have his dummy usually for night time (I put it in about midnight when he stirs as we go to bed)

Routine has been the same since about 4 months. I tried to add a story/book but it makes him too excited so we just read in the daytimes instead or before we go up for bath

DD1 at that age bottle, song, dummy put down awake, gradual retreat, no crying, maybe the odd tired whinge. Slept through ok. It changed weekly though. I had to lay her flat everytime she stood up when she mastered that trick so that took longer.

DD2 I couldn't be bothered to do the bedtime routine 2 times. I had two in less than 18 months so was out of energy and time. DD1 stayed in her routine, DD2 was cuddled to sleep on the sofa in front of the telly every night until she was three.
She slept fine too.

15 month old here. About 645 we give him a bath, pjs on, brush teeth, sleeping bag in and sits on me in the rocking chair having his milk (I havent got him off formula but finally off the bottle) while dad reads a story. Dad says a quick good night, I put him on my shoulder, if he lies down immediately I know he is ready for sleep and put him in his cot and leave the room.

He sleeps with a toy he has had from birth (only properly interested in it since 12 months so worth perservering) and no dummy. I would say 8 times out of 10 that is it and he is down. Occassionally we have to go back in and turn him back to his back.

I apppreciate we are quite lucky. He is a shit eater if that makes you feel better! Good luck, hopefully some helpful tips here. He was a dreadful sleeper until 4/5 months so I do feel your pain.

1 year old - DH gets him into pjs and puts his blanket over him and he falls asleep on him downstairs. He has cuddles with him for an hour or so (and I can have a breather!) he then brings him up to me - stilll asleep. He usually wakes up as soon as he hands him to me but I put him straight on the breast and lie him down next to me - and then feed him back to sleep.

To be honest, we are looking to try and simplify this now he is getting older!

Sam routine since veryvearly days.
6.30 Bath, then clean nappy, gentle rub/massage, sleeping bag and bottle. Baby has reflux so needs to be held for 30 min after feed. He always falls asleep during these 30 min. Then in cot asleep. Wakes once or twice at night then up at 6.30

One of mine never cried at all to settle.
One cries a bit sometimes (tired crying rather than distress), she doesn't have a dummy.
One cried when we transitioned from feed to sleep to self settling.

Both mine I cuddled to sleep until they were ready.. dd stopped at 13 months and ds stopped at 18m.

8.5 months, day time is still either pram, boob then asleep on me, or car. 2 naps a day for 45 mins to an hour average.

Feed to sleep night time, BF. Wait till asleep then transfer to cot and go. She will usually sleep through. Very occasionally wake but will go back down with a BF top up. Which is what I'm doing now!

Genuine question - why do you read stories to babies who can't understand them?

For my 9 month old I don't have set nap or bed times but it usually always occurs around the same time anyway so...

Nap times, once she starts to moan/whinge (usually a very good indicator she's tired) she goes staring upstairs into her cot, dummy, blanket and comforter and turned onto her front (she will not sleep on her back unless being walked, not rocked, in her pushchair) with her musical hippo playing. Usually for about 45 minutes.

Bed time it's dinner at 4.30ish, play for about half an hour or so, then in the bath, vest and baby grow, the down stairs for last bottle and then playing till she starts to whinge or moan (usually around half an hour), then up into bed in her sleeping bag with dummy, comforter and on her front and with her musical hippo.

She is a good sleeper and when she goes down at night she tends to sleep through unless there's something wrong. The only time we have any trouble is if she's over tired and then it's a battle of wills and I have to rock her to sleep whilst I keep her arms wrapped in a blanket so she can't bat at my face. Try not to let that happen too often though lol

We have followed Alison Scott Wright's sleep plan with three kids,
Now I tell my 18 month old it's time to go to bed and she takes herself up there, lies down and goes to sleep!

grumpy - they don't need to be able to follow the story to enjoy being cuddled, hearing your voice and looking at pictures.

I give my 7 month old DD a meal at 5pm then I put her baby grow on. We sit downstairs and play until about 6. We then go upstairs and sit on my bed and sing or something until 6:15. Then it’s a bit of milk, dummy in then she’s in her sleeping bag. I read a story until 6:30 then it’s lights out and I sing a lullaby and stroke her face for 5 mins and she’s asleep. For naps I just put her on my bed, draw the curtains and put dummy in. She’s good at going to sleep like that.

Grumpy4squash - I read to her because even though she can’t understand she looks at the pictures and looks intently at me so I think she finds it relaxing. I also just want to get into the habit as I loved story time as a child.

@grumpy4squash because it is good for all areas of development and helps to build a love of books. Plus it is simply a lovely thing to do.

It was probably just good luck but my DS was a really good sleeper, I followed a GF routine (despised on Mumsnet), never fed or cuddled him to sleep, put him in his cot, in own room, and shut the door. All naps in his own room unless he fell asleep when I was out pushing the pram (that might have helped too, at least an hour a day walking in the fresh air ). I guess I just assumed that babies slept through & luckily mine did.

OP my DC are now 9 and 6 and have slept through for the past 6.5 and 3 years respectively and I still read these threads obsessively wondering where I went wrong and why I had two children who were impossible to put to bed.
To be fair, DC1 was fine with naps but bedtime - no way. DC2 has always suffered from fear of missing out so fought any sleep opportunity. Both of them had a regular bedtime routine of tea involving the usual tea/play/feed/bath/fresh nappy & babygro/into darkened room/stories/feed again/into cot with special cuddly .... and then it all went to pieces. Occasionally, I would strike gold but it was rare. A kindle paperwhite saved my sanity with DC2 as at least I could then read as I sat in the dark next to his cot.

Interesting reading all the different approaches. There is clearly no one 'right' way!

My first slept like a dream, we just fed her and put her in her cot. She napped in an old-fashioned pram from 3 months til nearly 1, usually outside, then started napping in a cot as our circumstances changed. We just put her down (awake) and left the room. She would chat for a bit and then go to sleep herself.

My second has just turned one. For night time we fed him to sleep (bottle) and put him down veeeery gently. If he stirred I patted his bottom and stayed next to him making soothing noises til he settled, then crept out the room. He was in our room til he turned one. He did often wake in the night and join us in bed (pretty much every night). We have just moved him into a cot in his own room and I was worried this would take some serious commitment and difficult nights... we planned to sleep in there with him if necessary so that if he woke, he would stay in his room and at least get used to being in there. But he adjusted straight away, and never wakes during the night now! I feed him in the dark in his room, he is still awake when he finishes, I stand up with him for about 1 minute, then put him in his cot. He usually settles right in, occasionally he sits up but I still leave. The most he has cried is about 30 seconds. Wish we had moved him months ago!!!

For naps he goes in a pushchair and is pushed to sleep, in front of a fan (we live in a hot country). He still naps twice a day so averages 16 hours sleep a day. We have tried moving him to one nap but he really struggled, unlike DC1 who switched to 1 nap as soon as we tried (we had friends visiting and decided to aim for all babies on the same schedule, so we just went for it).

Clearly no one approach is right for everyone, otherwise there wouldn't be nearly so many tired parents around! I was very conscious how lucky I was that my first slept so well, and so independently, but my husband struggled with the second being a 'bad sleeper'... which I thought was ridiculous, as he napped reliably and although he did wake in the night he usually (not always) settled straight back down if we put him in bed with us. I thought that was really good compared with many babies, but compared with our first he was, apparently, 'terrible'!

So it seems like you need to let your baby cry ( I don’t mean CIO, it just seems like most posters let their babies cry for the first 5 mins or so?) in order for them to learn to sleep?

We needed to for DD2, who since then has slept like a bear - from about 5 months she would only sleep in a moving buggy with no eye contact or in her cot, in the dark (tinfoil on the window). She cried sometimes when we out her down and I'd rush back up and she'd stop crying but not go to sleep. Then once I was a bit slow getting back up the stairs and by the time I got there (less than 5 mins, probably like 3 mins) she was asleep. Crying means they're unhappy, but I think for DD2 it meant "I'm so effing tired", it didn't mean she actually wanted us there.

You all make it sound so easy. I’ve been doing the same thing before naps ( sleeping bag , short book, feed) and bedtime ( bath, sleeping bag, book, feed) but she cannot sleep independently. And wakes frequently... every hour sometimes. If I put her in her cot awake she screams. Occasionally I can put her in with half an eye open but it makes no difference to the wake ups.

I’m ckearky doing something wrong somewhere I’m loosing hope that she’ll get there eventually too as sleep just seems to be getting worse and worse

Breastfeed
Cuddle
Put down asleep.
Gorgeous.

You dont need to let baby cry. My 7month old is not left to cry. I feed to sleep. Wait until his breathing becomes slower and rapid eye movement ceases so i can tell hes in deep sleep. If you need to check just lift an arm..if its floppy your good to go 😊 now place baby gently down.

Change into PJs downstairs or in the bathroom after bath
Take into room. Breastfeed with light on
Read a couple of short books
Put in sleeping bag, put white noise on, turn light off
Sing a bedtime song while having a cuddle
Put her down in her cot while saying a certain bedtime phrase and rubbing her tummy
Say night night walk out shut door
Usually cries for a few minutes then sleeps through

Used to Co sleep and wake up every 90 min to breastfeed and had to get a sleep trainer in to help so we stick rigidly to this routine now! For naps we do the same other than feed and story

There are times (such as now) teething or cold etc where i need to do a little bit of rocking him to sleep to get him to deep sleep..can take a while. 1 sleep cycle can range from 33to45 mins and its possible your bubb my only nap for a cycle. If baby is teething or going through a growth spurt this can also wake him after each cycle....makes for tired mumma. But is normal. Your doing nothing wrong, we all learn on the job. Keep it up ✌

I didn't introduce a book into the routine until just over a year as I found it more a stimulant after that last feed before then, it didn't give the relaxed vibe needed.

My sons naps - he reaches for my super fluffy dressing gown that lives on the back of the sofa, I lay him in it and he snuggles into it and falls asleep, sometimes with a bottle, sometimes without depends how he's feeling. He just sleeps on the sofa or on me, has never in his whole life napped more than an hour when not ill. Nighttime - bath, bottle, once finished feeding I then carry him upstairs lay in cot, put on ewan the dream sheep and leave the room.