To ask EXACTLY how you put your 6month to 1 year baby down for a sleep?

[StinkySaurus]

I have an 8month old and if you read the sleep board you will know she isn’t a great sleeper so I would really appreciate an insight as to how you all put your babies down for a nap and nighttime sleep.

What I have found on the internet and speaking to people always sound so vague. So I would really appreciate if you could share detail. So for example.... how long do you stay in the room when you put them in the cot? Do you put in the cot completely asleep or wide awake? Do you let them cry when they first go in and for how long?

Sorry for posting here but I’m desperate and tired and could really use the AIBU traffic. So wise mums and dads , please share as many details as possible and hopefully it will enable me to get some much needed sleep!

Thank you so so much!

Reached wits end recently with my son. Have started Following routine as he would not sleep and has improved everything massively, bf him till drowsy in my bed, when heavy breathing but eyes open and not sucking as much move him into cot. First few days he screamed so every two mins I rubbed his back until crying stopped Took up to 40 mins.

After 3 days he would cry for max 2 mins then settle to sleep. He went from being worlds worst sleeper to easy. Worth a go!

Ds1 (formula fed) bath with lavender oil 6:30, nice and calm, no excitement. Then out, dried and PJs on in bathroom, then into bedroom (already darkened before bath, curtains closed, no lights on), bottle whilst on my lap, winded, swaddled and put into cot, usually awake but close to sleep. He usually just went straight over to sleep unless sick or teething. He slept 7-7 from around 9 weeks old and was formula fed from 7 weeks old.

DS2 (breastfed) same Bath and bed routine as above, breastfeed, NOT swaddled (for some reason my brain completely forgot this step even existed with DS2!) usually fell asleep on the breast, put him in cot asleep, he’d stay asleep maybe for an hour, maybe 20 minutes, maybe three hours. I could never predict it he was a terrible sleeper and didn’t sleep through the night until he was nearly two! Wouldn’t nap in the day either.

Oh yes, DS1 had a dummy, DS2 didn’t.

My DS is 9 months

5pm dinner
6pm pyjamas on and bath alternate nights then a bit of time downstairs

6.45pm up to bed and goes in his cot in his sleeping bag with his sheep on and has a bottle to sleep
9pm-1am usually wakes up a couple of times for his dummy
5.30am wakes up

He usually goes to sleep fairly easy but sometimes he will fight it so let him stay up a bit longer then try again

My ds is 18 months now but he's had the same routine for absolutely ages.

Bath every other night. + baby dry nappy and sleepsuit on. Put in sleeping bag. Kisses. Lie him in the cot. Put nightlight on (Calpol diffuser thing if he has a cold like now). Leave him. Job done.

If he's not well, he needs more of a cuddle but we try and cuddle him then lie him down awake.

My daughter however was a completely different kettle of fish. I had to feed her to sleep for absolutely ages!

I can't/ couldn't leave either to cry as they would both get hysterical pretty quickly.

(Both with a dummy)

I breastfed to sleep then put him on the bed.

I feed ds2 (7 months) in the living room and this usually makes him sleepy and calm. Once he has finished his bottle, I will then pop him in his sleeping bag and put him in his cot. He will have Disney lullabies on because his older brother also likes them and he will usually be asleep in 5-10 minutes. Sometimes he starts to whinge but I won’t rush in unless he starts to cry but mostly he goes to sleep.

I think what helps is we have always had the same bedtime routine and he is used to the same time because his brother also goes at 7. Sometimes it’s a pain because his older brother could be kept out later and would be happy to sleep in a pushchair or stay up a little late whereas ds2 likes his routine and bedtime and will just be really cranky whenever we attempt to be out of an evening time.

My LO is 11 months. After bath, I take him into our room where I wrestle him into a nappy, pjs and a sleeping bag. Then I breastfeed him for 5-10 minutes. Then we go into his room (if I'm organised, the big light is off but his salt lamp is on (nice red glow to prevent blue light stimulating him), and we sit in the chair, and I read two short stories twice through each. This takes about 10 minutes. Then I say 'sleep time now', give him his stuffed animal, turn on the white noise, kiss and cuddle and put him down awake in his cot. Then I go and turn off the lamp, and sit back in the chair in the pitch dark.

He usually stands up once or twice, and chucks his toy out as a game, but I calmly walk over, lie him down, give the toy back and pat him on the back for about thirty seconds before going back to the chair. On a good day he is asleep in 10-15 minutes, on a bad day it can be 30+ but that is getting rarer. I wait for five minutes after I think he's asleep before sneaking out! I do exactly the same for naps but without the bath bit!

Wanted to add - he was a nightmare with sleep until 7 months. I really found the Sleep Nanny System amazing because it wasn't about leaving your baby to cry alone - I was always there comforting him!

My Ds is 6 months old. For both naps and sleep I feed him downstairs, I then pop him in grow back, lay him in cot in a dark room, give him his teddy and walk out.

If he cries for longer than a few minutes I go in, flip him back onto his back, give him another kiss and leave again. I repeat until he is asleep.

For context, we have don't this from pretty much birth. I also have a 21 month old who (due to bad habits on our part), takes longer to go down (bottle in dark room which she takes her time drinking) , so poor little Ds has had no choice but to adapt to this routine.

I think it's a good thing though, as he settles pretty quickly most days "touches wood!"

My dd has been the worst sleeper ever, No amount of posting on forums has helped me. She was in a bad habit of needing to be held/rocked to sleep. Eventually I was heavily pregnant, could no longer do that so just use to put her in the cot wide awake, eventually she would drift off.
I'm trying not to make the same mistakes with dd2 whose 11 weeks old, she goes in a sleeping bag, on her belly in the moses basket, wee bit of rocking it and she'll be off.
My eldest son never had a problem with sleep, put down awake and he slept the whole night. The last time he woke through the night was at 9 weeks old. I've not done anything differently with either of them

During the day I put my daughter 11 months, in her sleeping bag, breastfeed then lay her in her cot awake and leave. Has 2 naps a day usually. Sometimes she will go straight to sleep, a lot of the time my 2 year old is quite loud and disturbs her so she will stand up in her cot talking or shouting and I go in every 5/10 minutes to lay her back down until she goes to sleep. If she is overtired she will cry and keep going back in and laying her down again until she goes to sleep, can take a while. Have only recently started doing this, I used to keep getting her out of the cot and feeding her again as it made her go to sleep much faster and stopped her disturbing my 2 year old daughter who was trying to sleep. But I can’t cope with the sleep deprivation anymore as she wakes up so many times in the night, hoping if she is less reliant on breastfeeding she will wake up less often in the night to feed. Still feed her every time she cries on a night, if she hasn’t gone back to sleep after a couple of minutes, as I don’t want her to wake up my older daughter plus I am too tired to put her down 20 times until she goes to sleep! Realise though she will probably keep waking up though if I continue to feed throughout the evening and night!

DD is 3 now but was a terrible sleeper and I tried all the gadgets and routines going.

We started to do the below at about 6 months and still do most of it now, we are still co-sleeping but I’m scared to move her incase the awful sleepless nights start again.

sleep music and last bottle (cup of milk now)
Bath with (bloom & blossom) bubble bath
Massage with sleep oil (again bloom & blossom, they are the best I’ve used)

Spray loads of This works baby pillow spray on the pillow
Dummy
Big cuddle in chair with a few rounds of twinkle star until she’s asleep
Put down very gently into our bed and tiptoe away

Naps are on me, she just snuggles in with her dummy when she gets tired.

For bedtime we do nappy change, into pjs and sleeping bag, bottle, dummy and a 5 minute cuddle, then into the cot. I usually sit in the room with her but out of site so I can pop her dummy back in if she needs, she’ll usually fall asleep within 20-30 mins.

Ofc that’s on a usual night, right now she had a cold and won’t be put down so I’ve been trying to cuddle her to sleep for an hour :/

I have 8 month old DTs. For bed time they have a bath (if they’re looking too awake I encourage loads of splashing to knacker them out!) get dressed in pjs, bottle then it’s off to bed - dummy in (for the child that takes it!) euan the dream sheep on, tucked up, lights out, door shut and I’m gone. Providing it’s not a serious cry (dd likes to cry herself to sleep sometimes, please don’t judge nothing will console her, it’s just the way she is if she’s over tired!) I’ll leave them for a while, they generally settle down and go to sleep. If they don’t, I’ll rub their back and repeat the dummy/dream sheep/tuck up process and my good night saying, then leave. I’ve rarely had to do this more than twice.

Naps are pretty similar. I’m lucky that I have good sleepers, but have had to establish a routine from birth pretty much as it was the only way I could cope.

Scottishlass why are you putting her to sleep in her stomach??

Sleep during the day, at home put them in the cot/ wherever they usually sleep. Mine had dummies/comfort objects for sleeping. Stroke face and shush for a few seconds, give a kiss and walk away.
When out and about they slept in the pushchair/car/someone's arms.

Bedtime, bathed if needed, got them in bedtime babygro, did teeth, had milk and a cuddle, put down in darkish room with dummy/comforter, face stroke and shushing then walk away.

If they didn't settle to sleep I would gently rub eyes with a muslin.

At 8 months my both mine:

Up at 7 am
DD had to have no morning nap or she wouldn’t sleep at lunchtime
DS had 30 mins nap at around 9.30 am, either being pushed round in his buggy if we were out or if we were home, sleeping bag, cot, dark room, literally cuddle, said sleep time and put him down- and left him. If he cried for more than a minute or two I’d go back, re settle him but not pick him up.
Lunch was at 11.30 with water.
Lunchtime sleep 12.15-2.15 ish. Tried to always do at home. Again, sleeping bag, cot, dark room. Always did a story, then into sleeping bag, said sleep time and in the cot. DS was easy, DD was a harder, but I did persist.
Bedtime routine at that age was dinner at 5pm, then bath at 6pm, then into their room at 6.30, lights dimmed, bottle of formula (8oz) story, sleeping bag, cuddle, cot and left to self settle.

Both had dummies when they were newborn but I had to get rid of them before too long as they caused loads of sleep issues.

I did leave them to self settle, and it did take a lot of time and patience. I also could never do full on CC so would always go and resettle they quickly.

Both slept 7-7 by 8 months generally. However, they are now 9 and 5, and the oldest one is a terrible sleeper- she just doesn’t need sleep so I’m not too smug about their baby sleep routine! Also my daughter slept absolutely terribly as a baby unless I had a strict routine- and even as a toddler she was very sleep sensitive- too much and she would be awake all night.

I have a 13 month old. We don’t leave her to cry to sleep (except if im driving and it’s a sort of grizzly going to sleep grumble I don’t pull over, if she was crying other than in that recognisable way, and it was safe to do so, then I'd stop and make sure she was alright and give her a toy).

During day for a short morning nap (starting to drop this so getting rare and more difficult) just either out in pram with hood up so slightly less stimulated or feed to sleep in comfy chair or lying in bed so I get rest too. it’s 20/30 min max, and if it’s inside then the room has to be pitch dark or she just gets distracted.

Longer PM nap: change nappy, strip down to vest, put on grobag and feed to sleep and put in cot asleep with white noise on. Husband just cuddles/rocks her to sleep. She goes to sleep pretty quickly usually within 5 mins for me, slightly longer if only being rocked. She sometimes wakes up after 45 mins and an hour and cries so rock her for a few mins and usually goes back to sleep for same time again (45 mins/1 hour).

Bedtime is largely my husband. He does her bath (loud and splashy!) then takes her into room with curtains drawn, sometimes I’m there and we all have a wee play, then he dries her and puts on fresh nappy, rubs (coconut) oil on her then into vest and grobag, cuddles from him then passed to me in comfy chair next to cot, small nightlight only on and I start to feed her whilst my husband reads bedtime story then leaves. She falls asleep at noon and sleepfeeds and I put her in cot with some white noise (my hummy) for an hour then it comes on with sensor if she moves/makes a noise . She generally stops feeding within 5-10 mins.

I didn’t really consciously choose to feed to sleep but she has always fallen asleep on boob very quickly and continued to actively feed. If she didn’t fall asleep during a feed I used to be able to put her cot awake and she’d fall asleep but that was young, likely before she started rolling. now she just cries and stands up and crawls about cot and wakes herself up and gets very unhappy very quickly. Feeding to sleep can feel pretty cosy and I guess natural though it can be a pain in the arse if she takes longer or when she wakes in the night (and I do sometimes fantasise about leaving her to cry!) But ultimately I feel like I can’t/don’t want to let her cry and just feels natural and intuitive to us to comfort her when she does. We’re going through a particularly bad patch of night wakings so when I hear her crying I’ve just been pulling her into bed now she’s over 1. Still shattered right enough.

This is for sleep. If I feel she’s doing a sulky cry whilst at dinner table etc then I’m not very keen on indulging and comforting in those circs just bit more brisk and oh dear
Well you’re fine come on.

Same routine since birth. Change in jammies. Downstairs for bottle. Back up. Pop in for with muslin (comforter) and dodi. Leave the room.

This works because we started this way. It's not going to be that easy for you. Puck a method eg controlled crying and follow that.

I still bf and she doesn’t have a dummy if that’s relevant. I give her water at meals and am trying cows milk in an open flow cup now and again at afternoon snack time but madam is not interested 🤨 and it’s messy to bf ing is more effective ( and tidier) method for now. I am not back at work for few more months so works fine for now.

We used to get him to 'just about fast asleep' after a bottle and a cuddle in the rocking chair for anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes. Bollocks to 'sleepy but awake'... it's the worst bit of advice to ever give a new parent.

We then put him down on his side to sleep, very gently and slowly like he was made of fragile bone china. Ever since he was born he'd scream blue murder and wake up if we put him down on his back. We have an angel care monitor though and breathable mattress so no risks with side sleeping really with him.

He's 17m this week and waves 'nanight' at us when he wants to go to bed and says "Baaaaye" as one of us carries him to the bedroom. He still wakes up once or twice a night but just for a cuddle and maybe a drink and goes back to sleep instantly as soon as we put him back down.

I cuddle my 1 yr old until he nods off and then put him down.

Did the same for the others, though at 8 and 6 they don't need me as much any more 😂

Oh and we use a dummy. We were advised to as we were high risk for sids due to family history of it.