To uninvite kids from halloween party?

[upsideup]

DS(9) is having a Halloween party at the weekend. Its a kids Halloween party so its not going to be inappropriately terrifying but the house will be dark and decorated to be scary.

Our friends are organising the party for ds and have spent lots of time/money making the house look over the top and organising games for the party. Parents of two of the kids have said they are coming but one is scared of the dark so can we make sure there are lights on and the the other can easily have nightmares so doesn't want to be scared. Theres no way we can make sure there are lights on and nothing scary without ruining the halloween party for DS and all the other kids and scraping all the work our friends have put into organising it.

AIBU to say that it will be scary and dark so if they can't cope with that then they probably just shouldn't come?

DS has been inviting to a rock climbing party but he hates heights so I said he wouldn't be able to go, wouldn't dream of suggesting they change the party to not involve heights so DS is able to join in.

YANBU. They're CFs

Tell them that friends have spent a lot of time and money making the house dark and scary, so it's probably best their DC don't attend.

Your party, your rules

Just repeat to your friends...it's a HALLOWEEN PARTY...there will be darkness and ghoulish decorations...for HALLOWEEN!

What is wrong with people!? They don't get to dictate YOUR party theme!

Just message them back and say due to the nature of the party it will be dark and age-appropriately-scary and you won’t be offended if they need to pull out if they now don’t think it’s suitable for their children. It’s pretty unreasonable for them to ask I think.

What cfs!!

Parents of two of the kids have said they are coming but one is scared of the dark so can we make sure there are lights on and the the other can easily have nightmares so doesn't want to be scared.

Just say, 'I'm sorry but it's a spooky party so the rooms will be dim ad there will be some scares. It's not going to be ott dark and scary but we do totally understand if you feel it's best not to come. Lets organise a play date at the park soon instead.'

Ha ha no you can’t change the party for them! I would messsagd back and say no, sorry it’s probably not suitable for their children then.

Just explain it won’t work !

My Ds had a science party years ago - on invites it said bangs / thrills / etc . One boy turned up 30 mins late ( we had waited ) to his mum saying he doesn’t like balloons , loud noises or the dark - all involved ,and literally turned round and left .
Poor boy spent most of party in downstairs loo . I was cross , not with him but I should have been with my son not checking up on an 8 yr old I barely knew in another room .
When pick up came and she asked if he had a nice time , I took her to one side and explained what had happened and that it had prob been quite miserable for him . Apparently I should have put him in the sitting room with the TV

'Well we were intending to have some spooky decorations, and it may be dark, so I will leave it up to you to decide whether DC want to come....'

You dont need to disinvite - just make it clear you wont be changing the theme and put the ball in their court.

LOL, what did they expect?

Yeah, tell them that you're not changing anything, and if their kids are such snowflakes, they should stay away!

How ridiculous!
Tell them very slowly its a halloween party so will be dark and scary so thier kids should stay away as you cant change the whole party to suit 2 Cf adult imbeciles kids!

Buffy Well you should have! You left him in the loo rather than sending him to wait somewhere nicer?

I thought the party must have been at a village hall or something when you said he spent most of it hiding in the loo!

Oh and OP....YANBU. Of course.

+1 for the replies saying tel them it will be dark and scary so you totally understand if they want to skip the party and play together another time.

No she shouldn't ajaslipstick I'm sure she had enough on her plate looking after the party and the other kids. It was stated on the invite about loud noises so the kid's mum shouldn't have left him, surely as his mum she knew he didn't like that stuff

Respond to all invited (so that no one feels left out and you're making it clear to all):
"Hi Parents, We just want to remind you that the party for X on Y date is a Halloween themed party. This will mean that the house is decorated with Halloween decorations (like the ones in the shops at the moment) and it will be dimly lit. We just want to let you know this in case your child is not fond of this theme. If this doesn't suit, we will have a television set up in a separate room which will be lit showing Ghostbusters, Monster House and Goosebumps (or Halloween, It and Saw). We look forward to welcoming you to our spooky haunted house :) "

Just tell them that it is a halloween party so it will be dark, and mildly scary, so it is up to them to come or not.

Thanks, was just worried I would seem mean for leaving out the easily scared children.

'I'm sorry but it's a spooky party so the rooms will be dim ad there will be some scares. It's not going to be ott dark and scary but we do totally understand if you feel it's best not to come. Lets organise a play date at the park soon instead.'

This. Don't message all parents.

Just tell her it will be dark, spooky and scary and that as she has stated that her children don't like those things it's best they don't come - especially as you're unable to provide a space that isn't dark spooky and scary.

No, you’d be ‘mean’ spoiling a good Halloween party for ALL the other children because a couple of them might not like it. If my DC were going to be a PITA I wouldn’t let them go, OR I’d wait in the car and tell the child and the host that I’m happy to take them home if it’s not working out.

I would push it back onto the other parents rather than uninviting. So tell them that the party will be dark and child-level scary. They know their own child best so you will leave it up to them to decide whether or not to send their child.

Definitely just say it’s going to be dark and it’s going to be scary so it’s up to them to choose if they fancy that or not. I wouldn’t suggest another time to get together but because a parent who thinks I should change my child’s party (*in this way) to suit their child, isn’t someone I’m going to want to spend time time with.

• I have NO problem with changing lots of things so a child is happy & safe at a party (food, no balloons, anything goes costume/clothing etc) but not dark and not scary at a Halloween party is like asking them not to go in the water at a swimming party. Nuts.

Just say “it’s a scary party so obviously it will be dim lighting and age appropriate scathing going on, we completely understand if you decline the invite due to this”

Some parents just where do they get off, like anyone is going to change a whole party set up becuase that child is scared. Common sense says you just decline the invite

And no Ajasalipstick previous poster shouldn’t of put the tv on the parents of the child should NEVER have left the child at the party. What decent parent does that?

DS2 hated fireworks and was properly scared of them - wouldn't even hold or look at a sparkler. So naturally we didn't take him to any of the many Bonfire Night parties he was invited to, because that would have been a) cruel and b) a little bit stupid. It wouldn't have occurred to me to suggest to the hosts that they shouldn't have fireworks so he wouldn't get scared .