To uninvite kids from halloween party?

[upsideup]

DS(9) is having a Halloween party at the weekend. Its a kids Halloween party so its not going to be inappropriately terrifying but the house will be dark and decorated to be scary.

Our friends are organising the party for ds and have spent lots of time/money making the house look over the top and organising games for the party. Parents of two of the kids have said they are coming but one is scared of the dark so can we make sure there are lights on and the the other can easily have nightmares so doesn't want to be scared. Theres no way we can make sure there are lights on and nothing scary without ruining the halloween party for DS and all the other kids and scraping all the work our friends have put into organising it.

AIBU to say that it will be scary and dark so if they can't cope with that then they probably just shouldn't come?

DS has been inviting to a rock climbing party but he hates heights so I said he wouldn't be able to go, wouldn't dream of suggesting they change the party to not involve heights so DS is able to join in.

I can't believe they asked you this! How bloody rude to ask you to ruin the party for all the children just because one or two are easily scared. I would suggest that the lights will be off, there will be some fun games in line with their age and if they are easily scared maybe this is not the right party for them but you understand if they decline. End of.

This really isn't your problem!!

They should have just declined. The idea that their child is so fragile as to not to be able to manage a kids party is really not helping their child build any of kind of resilience to survive the world. If I was worried I would simply ask if I could stay...jeez.

If you make it too 'safe' all the other kids will think it is boring!

"It's going to be a typical Halloween party with darkness and age appropriate spooky scares aplenty. Obviously we want all of the children to have fun and not be upset, so if your child would rather not attend I completely understand."

Don't leave it open... not if, something like "as this isn't suitable for yours I understand completely that they won't be there".

@AllTakenSoRubbishUsername seriously? You think the OP should change her DCs party, organise new decorations (because she's ALREADY organised and I assume paid for the ones she's putting up!) and make Halloween 'cute' simply to mollify 2 children who 'don't like being scared'? Don't be ridiculous 😂

You can't really uninvite them! Why not decorate cute rather than scary Halloween (nothing too ghoulish) generally and have the lights low rather than very low, then choose one room where you 'dare' whatever kids want to go in there, which is really creepy and full of skeletons etc. Then the children can choose. Also make the games friendly like doughnuts on a string, things in jelly etc rather than too gross

What is your reasoning for suggesting the OP completely changes HER party to suit 2 of the potential guests?

FML what is wrong with people nowadays.

YANBU. What a buzzkill it would be to have the lights on even if dim. Tell em you've cut electrics for the night

Tell them as unfortunately with Freddie Kruger on the guest list you will drop a party bag off at school instead for their snowflakes.

Alltaken
Dont be bloody stupid.
Nobody is going to change a whole party they have organised and paid for and all the other kids are excited about for the sake of 2 kids! Wtaf?

Its a Halloween party the clue is in the name!

We have a Halloween party every year - I love it and er oh ..... So do the kids.

I have had two incidents in the last couple of years. We had a very tall neighbour wear a gorilla mask and hands and hid him in the unrenovated attic. DH lead all the kids upstairs on a ghost hunt. We had those snaps - where you throw the on the floor and they make a loud bang. Three girls stayed downstairs but a boy freaked out ran down the stairs and out the door in an attempt to run home. We live 6kms from the nearest village. Luckily my DH caught up with him and said we would call his parents to collect him. Of course his parents didn't answer. When he was collected at the end of the party, his Dad said he gets really scared and is terrified of the dark! This was the year before last, same boy came last year and was fine and did the ghost hunt and is coming again on Sunday. Last year a girl and her younger sister got upset and had to be collected. Both girls have ASD and I think it was overwhelming. This year I warned the mum before I gave out the invitations to everyone, so she would have a 'oh we are busy that day' but she said, I will ask the girls and they want to come. Mum said she would collect early if she has to. Its not a big deal.

It seems to happen around 9/10/when the kids move from happy pumpkins, smiley bats and funky witches to full on ghouls, zombies and murder clowns (as they are called here).

Don't change anything. Chances are they will love it. I do ohhh and so the all the kids.

Never pander to silly parents who want the lights on/something changed. Idiots.

Tell them you will be wearing this and send a picture www.joke.co.uk/freddy-krueger-set~24328/?ref=base&utm_source=GoogleBase&utm_medium=cpc&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIxPnonIKf3gIVRETTCh0tAA8uEAQYASABEgKcYPD_BwE

Yanbu dont pander to these idiots. Always amazes me that people feel so entitled to even ask such things.

I feel your pain I had a grown man adult refuse to come in and sit down yesterday because we had "scary spider and witch" decorations up that might get him. The damn thing was lit up like a Christmas tree and is cute rather than scary ffs. Thankfully he didn't see some of the other decorations, (picked by my 3 year old) and isn't coming to our party

Out shopping yesterday I saw a bumble bee Halloween outfit I mean wtaf?!

If it's going to be too scary, just park the Ken Dodd masks and you'll be fine.

You're not excluding them though, you're having a certain kind of party which they can choose to attend or not. It's not upto you to change the whole theme, it's upto them to decide if it's for them.
Fwiw, DS friends all love the gory, scary shit but he really doesn't so he just doesn't go treat tricking/Halloween party, his decision, he doesn't enjoy it. He can figure that out at 8, so why can't they?
Yanbu.

DD hates scary stuff and is easily frightened. She has turned down invitations to eg films she thought would be too scary before with an explanation and it was fine. I would do what PPs say and just explain that it will be dimly lit and there will be some age appropriate scary bits and you completely understand if they feel they can't cope with it.

Aprilslonggone
Some Americans in my experience just dress up for Halloween. Not necessarily spooky.

No one needs to be "uninvited". They just need to decide whether they want to come to the thing they've been invited to. Sounds like they don't, so they should decline the invitation.

I think the American tradition is dressing in a dusguise, so the evil spirits won't recognise you. But I am sure there will be some Americans along later to explain it fully.

KC225
Think.you might find that that originated in Scotland and Ireland
and was taken over to USA by immigrants. 😉

Haloween (Samhain) is when the veil between the living and the dead was thinnest so spirits could pass over. Family spirits were welcomed and honoured but If you were disguised bad spirits couldnt tell you were alive so couldnt bother you.

We have had 'guising' in Scotland for centuries. Kids have to do something, tell jokes, sing etc to earn thier sweets.

Uninvite or if it was ok with you, tell them they can bring a torch. I wouldn't make any changes.

I invite the parents too. So they can supervise their child