ExH being a “Facebook dad”

[InstagramPork]

My ExH and I actually get on relatively well. He is a good dad in the sense he sees DS regularly and has always paid maintenance.
However there is one thing that really irritates me and it’s the way he posts about our son on social media.

I have no problem if he wants to share photos, that’s up to him, but he uses my photos of DS to make himself look like a better parent than he is.

We have a WhatsApp group with him, ExPIL and my DM and I’ll regularly share pics with them of DS doing nice things for example first day at nursery, first swimming lesson as I want them to be involved and feel part of his life.

Ex then posts these on his Facebook page with captions implying he’s done these things with him and then gets comments such as “Oh wow! What a fab trip, you’re such a good dad” etc. And it irritates the hell out of me.

Our son had a recent spell in hospital and I didn’t leave his bedside, barely slept for 48 hours and looked after him. Ex came for one visit for 35 mins then left again.
The day before he came I had sent him a pic of DS hooked up to drips etc and explained he couldn’t FaceTime him because he was sleeping.
Ex then posted this pic of our little boy looking very poorly and vulnerable (and in a state of undress) on Facebook with a woe is me status about how worried he is about him etc.

I am absolutely raging!!!! Using our sick child to garner likes?!!! I feel like he’s violated DS’s right to dignity! Also if he was that bothered then why wasn’t he with me at his bedside when he actually needed him?

I really don’t want to fall out with Ex if I can help it (it’s taken years to get to the good place we’re at currently) but I can’t let this go. He’s massively overstepped a line IMO and I need to say something to him about it.

AIBU to be cross at him? How do I broach this without causing WW3? He’s not a reasonable man and doesn’t like “being told what to do”.
The obvious thing would be to no longer share any pics of DS but that will mean the GPs miss out and ExPIL will no doubt just send whatever pics I’ve taken on to ExH if they know he’s no longer in the group chat

Watermark «mummy and DS» (or whatever) on every picture. That will annoy him.» as he won’t be able to post.
Or only pics of both of you but so you can’t be cut out, so your arm around his shoulders for ex.

I would also unblock him and comment, for ex on the Christmas post I would say «so nice to see you two having fun, I bet you are regretting saying you didn’t wanted to see him when i offered the past 3y»

The watermark is idea is brilliant

My ex likes to pretend he's super dad.

Any important pics of DD, I post them and tag his wife and stepdaughter in them. He cant claim them for his own then.

Your ex sounds like a dick. I'd keep sending the photos to your group, but it's super, super simple to add text over the top within WhatsApp. I've added screenshots in the pic attached, but just select an image from the photos on your phone and use the pencil or 'T' to add embellishments :)

Could you friend him on social media again? Keep it super friendly but make subtle comments for instance he posts a pic of your son swimming and says he's proud and you post 'he had a great time, he'd love you to go along to a lesson one day - let me know if you'd like details!'. Petty game playing I know..

My DCs are a lot older and don’t want their pics shared on FB so I don’t. I don’t post on FB much so my wall is basically when people tag me into stuff (very very occasional nights out). He doesn’t care that they don’t like it, but posts anyway.
It looks like he’s dad of the year and I’m always out Clubbing with my mates. Reality is I do all the heavy lifting and he just sees them once a week for the fun stuff.

Stop sending pics.

"You can’t stop what he does."

Actually, @InstagramPork, you can. Your twat of an exH is breaking the copyright law and quite a few facebook rules by posting photos taken by you without your permission. And these are photos of a small child.
Unblock him and "give feedback" to every single one as intellectual property, then choose Report photo saying I don't think it should be on Facebook. Now you have a few options:

• This humiliates me or someone I know - would definitely apply to the hospital photo
• This is a photo of me or my family that I don't want on Facebook (self explaining really)
• Something else -> I think it's an unauthorised use of my intellectual property - this also applies to every photo you took and he posted without your permission.

Don't forget to "send report". Ask friends to do this too, the more the better.

And for the future, what others said: either completely stop sending IL's photos of your DS or only send "unusable" photos where you're both in the picture or if it's only DS, add a "mummy and me" message in a place where it can't be easily cut out (so text across the photo or a sticker next to DS, not a frame and not in the part of photo which is a solid colour, like clear sky).
if your camera app doesn't have an option to add text, download some photo editor, there's a ton of them available for free.