DP's parents are too kind

[stiltonontoast]

My partners parents have just retired, paid off their mortgage and got their first two grandchildren (one being our 8mo DS) they are fairly well off and we are fairly poor, but have always got by and been happy.

DP's parents inherited a fair bit of money - guessing about 70k - about 6 months ago and they are set to inherit more shortly (way more than that) and they've always been generous towards us but recently they've gone overboard and it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.

They paid off all DP's debts and gave him 1k spending money. Then they bought us a new car (second hand) then offered to pay our car insurance for the year. We accepted because we're broke and wouldn't have a vehicle otherwise - offered to pay them back monthly but they would not hear of it. Recently learnt that they've actually paid the insurance for 2 years, tax and AA recovery too. They are constantly buying clothes and things for DS and even bought a brand new car seat for the car. When we showed them what we wanted to get DS for Christmas (a rocking horse) they immediately declared that they would buy it! I had to fight hard for them not to go out and get it that instant.

Now they want to buy us a house... not even joking. DP's mum wants to buy it and rent it out to us at a minimal cost... This would help us so much but AIBU to think its too much support for two grown adults with a child to accept? It makes me feel bad, like we can't look after ourselves or our DS.

A first world problem, but a nice one to have really. What's the downside, I can't immediately see one, unless you alter other plans and become reliant on their generosity.

I've always been fiercely independent

We all understand that, but if you are renting now you are paying off someone else's mortgage. You will have security and more than likely left the house later

BUT - if you are paying below market rent then I think you have a duty to be financially responsible and start your own savings account and put in any excess 'rent' so you have a brighter future or invest in some education courses and get better paid employment

Think of this as a springboard

Forgot to say they also opened an ISA for DS and put £100 a month in. He will be allowed access to it on his 18th birthday.

Stresses me out when people do this. On his 18th birthday, the money legally belongs to him so he could blow the lot on a lads holiday to Ibiza or something and there would be bugger all any of you could do about it. More sensible to keep it in an account in your own name and dish it out when needed, for sensible things like house deposits.

It'd be a hell of a lads' holiday to cost north of £20k!

It sounds as if they are generally 'being generous' in the 'enjoy it now' sort of way. It might be better if they thought carefully about inheritance tax, and making the long-term best use of this money. Much better to give it to you in the form of a house now than let you spend years paying rent, only to leave you an inheritance minus a big wodge to the government.

But they need to have what they need to manage their retirement years, too.

"Forgot to say they also opened an ISA for DS and put £100 a month in. He will be allowed access to it on his 18th birthday."

You might find he is able to access it on his 16th.

I have savings accounts and Child Bonds for my kids - as soon as they are 16 the letters come to them and they have the right to access it. By law.

Who has bad debt history and ccjs? Both of you or just him?

Of course you should accept! Especially if you'll be paying rent. They're family and the love you. Accept their help.

@Unicyclethief Just me!

My In laws are the same. They aren't mega rich but will help us in every way possible even if it isn't needed. My example is our washing machine broke a few months ago, my FIL is very handy so we called explaining what it was doing and how we could fix it. Long story short, they gave us money for a new one even though we have savings. Most recent is we were told to expect money for Christmas off my brother in law & they were asking what we were planning on spending it on & we said a dishwasher as we don't currently have one. Got a call at the weekend from FIL saying to come pick him up (we have the bigger car) & he'll buy us it!! We have honestly tried everything to stop stuff like this happening but not for happening! My MIL did say when they're old & frail and need help that's when we can help them lol (which is what I would do anyway!)

Nice problem to have!