AIBU?
AIBU Or is my partner being insensitive to me?
Mummyto52019 · 21/10/2018 19:44
So im currently pregnant and have hyperemesis gravidarum, im being sick alot, so much so that i wet myself when im having a bad sickness episode which is extremely embarrassing for me, ive now started being sick into a bowl in the bathtub next to the loo, so i dont have to go through the embarrassment of wetting myself and having to change my clothes. My partner had ago at me saying i should pretty much either wet myself or pee in the bath and be sick in the toilet so he doesnt have to clean up my sick bowl. Is really upset me as im struggling alot with the sickness and embarrassment of wetting myself and i find the though of peeing in the bath degrading when i can just use the toilet, AIBU? Currently in my bedroom upset yet my partner doesnt see anythibg wrong with what he has said :(
ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 21/10/2018 19:46
I would carry on doing what you're doing but clean your own sick bowl? I wouldn't leave it for someone else to deal with. Chuck the sick down the loo when you're finished, rinse, swill and chuck again?
Welshheart · 21/10/2018 19:49
Kind of agree with ZigZagIntoTheBlue here, is there any reason you can't clean your own sick bowl?
Mummyto52019 · 21/10/2018 19:50
Oh sorry i should of mentioned i do clean my sickbowl often except if ive taken a really bad episode, where i cant do it myself as my body is so drained i can barely move myself. The sickness is very bad n ive been rushed into hosiptal due to dehydration as water doesnt stay down most days xx
BipBippadotta · 21/10/2018 19:54
You poor thing. I hope you feel better soon. 
Sounds like your partner is being a dick when you are so poorly.
Tomatoesrock · 21/10/2018 19:56
It is awful. I was the same on DC2. I pee'd myself while vomiting doing the school run on foot.
He shouldn't be giving you a hard time but you should probably rinse the bowl.
AlphaBravo · 21/10/2018 19:56
Puke in the toilet and kneel on a towel. I'd rather piss myself wearing tena pants than expect someone else to clean up my vomit. How grim.
EnglishRose13 · 21/10/2018 19:56
No advice but this happened to me a lot during pregnancy. Please don't feel embarrassed.
Mummyto52019 · 21/10/2018 19:58
Ive been in hosiptal several times on iv drips for dehydration. It gets so bad i colaspe often after bad episodes of sickness so on these occasions ive not been able to clean my sick bowl,
Tomatoesrock · 21/10/2018 19:58
See your update, tell him to grow up ffs. DP cleaned my vomit at times when I was completely exhausted from throwing up. Yanbu he is insensitive.
Celebelly · 21/10/2018 19:59
If she's so ill from carrying his child that she's been hospitalised, then I don't think helping with cleaning a sick bowl occasionally is too much to ask. Yes it's not pleasant, but neither is vomiting all day long and having to be hospitalised because of it.
I was sick in first trimester very suddenly without warning and didn't make it to the bathroom, and my DP dealt with it while I went to clean myself up without a word of complaint and without being asked.
LunasPaws · 21/10/2018 20:00
I had the same as you HG and a very weak bladder. I spent hours on the toilet whilst puking in a sink bowl. My DP was patiently and would clean the bowl if I needed it.
You partner is a dickhead.
MumNeedsANap · 21/10/2018 20:01
Happened to me to when I was sick and pregnant, if it makes you feel any better, my DP thought it was hilarious! And what's with everyone being critical about OP's partner cleaning her sick bowl, particularly when she is very ill, if they are having a baby together it's going to get a lot grimmer than that. Are they not supposed to be a team and be there for each other? Even if it's a bit gross? I hope my partner would look after me in the same situation and I would look after him.
Bahhhhhumbug · 21/10/2018 20:03
Yabu and l speak as someone who suffered this during one pregnancy and have a dsil who had gruelling bouts of chemo. Neither of us ever dreamed of asking or expecting my DH or DB to clean the sick up.
MamaLovesMango · 21/10/2018 20:05
Get to the GP tomorrow for some anti-emetics. They could help if you manage to keep a dose down,
I was like this with DD2. Sometimes I couldn’t clean my own bowl as dealing with the vomit set me off again or I couldn’t physically move for some time afterwards. Thank goodness she’s worth it!!
Mummyto52019 · 21/10/2018 20:08
Ive been on three different types of anti sickness yet they haven't worked, im going back to my gp first thing in the morning as ive not kept much food or water down over the weekend so im completely exhausted
Badgerandmole · 21/10/2018 20:10
Yanbu - pregnancy sickness is just awful you will get through it.
When I was pregnant both times dh cleaned up after me when he was around and I wasn’t feeling up to it and I did when he wasn’t. If you would do it for him when he’s ill there’s no reason why he can’t offer the same kindness back. Hope you feel better soon
mummatoabeaut · 21/10/2018 20:11
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
BewareOfDragons · 21/10/2018 20:14
If she's so ill from carrying his child that she's been hospitalised, then I don't think helping with cleaning a sick bowl occasionally is too much to ask. Yes it's not pleasant, but neither is vomiting all day long and having to be hospitalised because of it.
This.
What the hell does he think a baby is going to produce from both ends for quite some time for him to clean up, flowers and rainbows?
She's not partying and puking and expecting him to deal. She's carrying his baby and has HG ... not plain old morning sickness which can be bad enough, but HG!
If he can't cope with supporting her through this, I question his readiness to be a father who will carry his own weight keeping a baby cleaned up, frankly.
DoinItForTheKids · 21/10/2018 20:15
You poor soul OP, nausea and vomiting is absolutely awful. People in the throws of cancer often report that the nausea is worse than the pain of the treatment, it's such a debilitating and horrific feeling.
With the dehydration and exhaustion you must be feeling absolutely dreadful.
I cannot for the life of me understand the comments saying the other half shouldn't have to clean your sick bowl! Good grief, come on, it's a bit of sick, very little content to it I imagine since OP can barely keep down water! I'd clear my partner's sick if I had to (it'd be one thing if he came home pissed and puked everywhere) but if he was ill of course - I do it for my children and I'm sure most people have.
I'm afraid to me he sounds like a quite unpleasant knobber.
Magair · 21/10/2018 20:16
One memorable night I had a gallbladder attack whilst pregnant....with no warning I sat up in bed and puked everywhere, whilst also of course completely wetting myself at the same time. I staggered to the the bathroom shouting to a bleary eyed shocked DH "clean up my piss and sick!" And stayed there vomiting until he'd sorted it all out half an hour later, at which point I staggered back to bed shouting now please clean up the wee from all over the bathroom floor. Which he did.
Your DH is a plum.
rotavixsucks · 21/10/2018 20:16
@Mummyto52019 you poor thing- HG is awful and utterly degrading when you reach the point of it coming out of all orifices and then collapsing. You have my utmost sympathy.
How many weeks are you? It took my DH a little while to realise that sometimes there was just no way I was able to clean up after myself.
I resorted to being sick in the toilet and kneeling on a pile of towels, which could then be chucked in the washing machine. Though DH couldn't understand why I wouldn't be sick into a bowl whilst sat on the toilet (I was scared of falling off it).
There's no easy solution and it's such a difficult time.
If you haven't already check out the hyperemesis support thread on here.
MamaLovesMango · 21/10/2018 20:17
for you. It’s awful. Even my dog groaned and left the room when I started, after a while! Try to remember, it will eventually be over, you can be certain of that!
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