To ask the pros and cons of having a 3rd child

[Scottishgirl85]

We have two lovely daughters, 3.8 and 6 months. We've always talked of having 3 children and I'm finding myself packing away our baby's outgrown clothes, moses basket etc into the loft for another potential child... But I'm really interested to hear from those who have 3, what's it really like?

I just don't feel done yet, but is it an odd number for sibling fallouts, too far to stretch attention around all 3, etc?

For background our two daughters were not easily conceived and we'll need ivf again for a third so it may not even happen.

Thanks!

We loved three and now have four. It's bloody hard work! Wonderful though

BrutusMcDogface I remember you from the larger families board. Glad number 4 is safely here and you're enjoying it. We're expecting number 4 in the new year!

OP 3 kids does complicate matters. It makes everything slightly more complicated although with the internet there is no reason you won't be able to source reasonable holiday accomodation, have shopping delivered to free up more time etc. I adore having 3 as the nature of it means there is someone with every personality trait and someone is always interested in whatever is happening. Granted we can't please all the kids all the time (and our life has definitely had to shift into 'family friendly' territory as we're outnumbered!) Sickness bugs are dreadful but ours are all quite young so need mummy and daddy a lot if they're ill etc. We have given a lot of thought to future proofing our finances so we can help them all out in future and are very lucky to have been able to do this. We also have solid life insurance etc in place as if we were both to die, my parents would need a lot of financial and the means to buy in practical support as 3 kids is A LOT. Obviously you can't live life on the what-ifs but they are worthy of consideration. Ditto considering whether you have the personal resources between you and DH if a third child had additional needs.

I loved having two children but a larger family has been the icing on the cake. I still manage the odd morning out for breakfast with friends or the MN essential spa day and DH has his time away too which I think is important. We don't get out much as a couple as 3 kids is a lot to ask someone to take care of.

Hope you are able to settle to a decision OP. Don't overthink but do consider things carefully.

Absolutely bloody fantastic and the best decision I have ever been persuaded into!!

Mine are 5, 4 and 2 and so much fun.

Couldn't care less about the expense and how time consuming it all is.

The noise is crazy and sometimes I wish I was an Octopus!

But I love them all so much and the dynamic between them all is beautiful.

The planet doesn't need more people, sorry OP.

2 was a piece of piss compared to 3.

I’m so tired. Number 3 did not sleep for 2 and a half years. Money is tight. The house is so messy. There’s a lot of talking in this house and it feels like chaos most of the time.

BUT. He is absolutely gorgeous, older siblings adore him, the new dynamic he brings is lovely. Kinda like the chaos.

I did not feel done at 2. I’m done now though

My 3 are 8,10 and 12 so life was pretty chaotic when they were small but I loved it. I do think the 3rd one is often easier not just because they've always had to fit in with other people's plans but also because you worry a lot less about everything.

All the points about cost are valid but I love the way there is always someone to talk to and play with even if you fall it with one sibling. Because they're close in age they just feel like a gang not a hierarchy. The middle one says she's lucky because she is a big sister and a little sister so best of both worlds. I think it's good for kids to know that it's not all about them, sometimes they have to wait or allow for someone else's needs.

And to those who say you only have 2 hands, I fit all 3 of mine on my lap even now we love a big group hug. And your heart doesn't run out of love, you can love as many children as you have as much as just one.

I have two and am happy with that. When I was younger I thought I wanted three but now I have them I know two is right for us. I love the little bit of peace and quiet I get with two, I know that three would be crazy and that's not for me. My two are great buddies. I say if you think you would enjoy it then go for it but for me I know I am a better parent to two. Obviously if I had a third I would love the child dearly but I know myself and I would be overwhelmed. Good luck whatever you decide.