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AIBU?

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Original poster

Road Rage

84 replies

SoniOni · 20/10/2018 16:57

I might be being overly sensitive here as am very pregnant and ready to pop. Does anyone else not understand road rage? In a supermarket car park, pulling very slowly out of a space as cannot see due to two white vans being either side of me. I back out so, so slowly and find someone driving about 30mph who nearly crashed in to me. If they were doing the 5mph they were supposed to be they would be able to have slowed down to let me out. They then proceeded to wind their window down and shout 'stupid fucking woman driver' out of their car window.

I ignored, and drove off, shaking. I KNOW I did nothing wrong and what is funny is that I am ex military and am recently advanced driver trained. I know how to drive. I know what is safe.

How do you deal with other peoples road rage? Why do people get road rage like this? I have never understood it and can't stand when people speak to me like I am a child, or drive up my arse for actually daring to do 60 in a 60 zone.

AIBU to think that road rage is really quite dangerous? For those who suffer from it and those on the receiving end? People get upset at the tiniest of things and bar getting upset because someone has done something dangerous (I can understand this), it's just not necessary...

Sorry. Bit of a rant there but am really stressed out and annoyed the bloke got to me!

OP posts:
Gottagetmoving · 22/10/2018 14:15

I thought you had to wait before backing out of a space if a vehicle is driving on the section you are going to back onto?

GeorgeTheHippo · 22/10/2018 14:16

I need to live where cherries lives, that Waitrose really appeals to my sense of order 😀

SandraTheBee · 22/10/2018 14:16

I thought if you drove into the back of someone then you were always in the wrong, regardless of whether they were stationary or not?

headinhands · 22/10/2018 14:21

MN is weird. Someone driving 30 in a supermarket car park who nearly drove in to me as they were going to fast to see that I was coming out of a space (very slowly) then continued to shout a sexist and aggressive remark and I'm the one who should've 'backed in to the space' I'll just accept that I was BU then.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. In any driving posts on MN the fastest driver is always right. The slower driver is a 'danger/incompetent/shouldn't have a license.' It's tediously predictable. I'd never seek out advice about driving here.

livingontheedgeee · 22/10/2018 14:27

Every idiot driver under the sun seems to love a congested supermarket car park. Best of all are those who let their kids run about, or those as you say who drive past you regardless that you possibly can't see them as you're going backwards. Only last week I watched an old woman drive forwards into a space, hit the car in front of her so hard that it lifted off the ground then walk away without even a backwards glance. She came out with her shopping and banged her car door against the car next to her and was completely oblivious.

malmi · 22/10/2018 14:41

Wink1970

I wasn't talking about who was at fault, I was just referring to the literal meaning of "drive into". In your example, the person behind drove into you. You didn't drive into them, unless you managed to get it into reverse. Anyway, from a fault POV, it would still probably be your fault and insurance liability because you're supposed to be able to stop even if the car in front slams on.

Chouetted · 22/10/2018 15:46

I've always assumed it's adrenaline - near misses in cars can be quite scary, and if you're unable to admit that to yourself, I can quite see how it might come out in an angry tirade. Especially if people are literally shaking with anger.

The sort of road rage that goes further, I have no idea, and those people should not be on the road.

Oysterbabe · 22/10/2018 15:57

My husband is pretty bad for road rage and it really fucks me off. I don't think we've ever done a long journey without him beeping / gesturing / flashing lights at another driver. It is always because they've done something stupid but who cares? If no harm was done just let it go and get on with your day. He once had someone get out of their car at traffic lights and kick his wing mirror off after one such incident. It's not worth getting into a fight over fucking driving, especially when the kids are in the car!!

Sweetpotatoaddict · 22/10/2018 16:03

If you are pulling out from between two vans there is still a chance you have to move fairly far forward before you can see fully, at least when reversing out the space you have the bonus of reversing lights warning the other driver what you are going to do.
It’s mumsnet, victim blaming central

FooFighter99 · 22/10/2018 16:11

Are you sure your reverse light is working?

I only ask because mine works only intermittently so I have to be very VERY careful when pulling out of a supermarket space because if the light hasn't come on, people don't realise I'm backing out and I've had a honk or 2, plus some dirty looks (not sure what I can do about it as changing the bulb wont help Sad)

But no, YANBU - everyone is in such a rush and people get so wound up it's really rather pathetic

longwayoff · 22/10/2018 16:20

Dashcam

malmi · 22/10/2018 16:21

FooFighter99
If your reversing light is not working properly then get it fixed, obviously! It wouldn't pass its MOT in that state so don't see why you're confused about what you can do. It needs sorting.

longwayoff · 22/10/2018 16:31

Its the adrenalin. I accepted a lift home from school, my children and hers in the car. Someone pulled in front of her unexpectedly. She jumped out, opened his door, pulled him out by his collar and threatened him with instant death. She was, and still is, a vicars wife, more used to dispensing tea and sympathy. She was very surprised by her response and hasn't done it again as far as I know.

headinhands · 22/10/2018 16:58

It's chilling. There's these otherwise reasonable people who appear to have a barely controlled rage inside them that manifests in these sorts of situations. It's uncomfortable to acknowledge that, chances are, a fair percentage of the people I know are actually harbouring a boiling anger that's ready to bubble over at any given moment.

headinhands · 22/10/2018 17:00

It can't just be explained by adrenaline. I've had incidents that have caused a surge of adrenaline without it ever occurring to me that being abusive would help?

OracleofDelphi · 22/10/2018 17:07

I had a man the other day who had to stop as traffic was backing up in front of him. I was on a road coming down into his line of traffic and as he was already stationary I pulled out. Boy did he freak out..... called me a fucking bitch ..... I stopped my car in the middle of the road and got out. Went up to his window and asked him why he wasnt kind? He looked a bit bemused? I told him I had dropped my DH and DD off for an operation and I couldnt find anywhere to park..... he looked quite ashamed tbh. I explained most things in life could be made easier by kindness...... and that as he was 20 foot away from the oncology unit he wuld do well to remember that in this part of town..... utter dick head. So selfish. So in answer I normally get out and go to talk to them..... it normally is resolved. But if they just shout and drive off hen let it go. Life is too short.

longwayoff · 22/10/2018 17:29

Oracle that was a very dangerous thing to do. People arent fully rational in a state of rage, obviously. Don't put yourself at risk.

averageisgood · 22/10/2018 17:30

Some people believe they own the road. I turned into a major road from a minor road today, nice gap, plenty of space, didn't force anyone to slow down to let me in. The man behind me proceeded to drive up on my tail and hoot at me. I slowed down. He got more enraged. Then swapped lanes to over take me. Hooted at me while he did so, he may have given me the finger and swore at me, I don't know, I didn't make eye contact but saw lots of crazed gesticulation from the corner of my eye
Some drivers are knobs

SillySallySingsSongs · 22/10/2018 17:33

I only ask because mine works only intermittently so I have to be very VERY careful when pulling out of a supermarket space because if the light hasn't come on, people don't realise I'm backing out and I've had a honk or 2, plus some dirty looks (not sure what I can do about it as changing the bulb wont help)

Well as that is an MOT fsil you will have to get it sorted.

SillySallySingsSongs · 22/10/2018 17:33

*fail

headinhands · 22/10/2018 18:10

nice gap, plenty of space, didn't force anyone to slow down to let me in.

No such thing on MN. If you can see a vehicle on a road you're joining and choose to pull out you're inept and should relinquish your licence for-with.

headinhands · 22/10/2018 18:16

Guess what. If I'm on a main road and the car in front has to stop to wait for a gap in oncoming traffic to turn into a side road on the right, and there's several cars waiting to join I hang back to let the first car out. Maybe it's a special power I have where I can anticipate what drivers around me are waiting to do. Seems fairly logical to me!

Topseyt · 22/10/2018 18:26

I ignore them and shrug it off. You can't reason with arseholes.

ginandbearit · 22/10/2018 18:58

My local Sainsbury has a central parking area which if you back into allows access to footpath and easy loading . If I cant park in there I forward park into usual type spaces and when reversing out always put my hazards on as people just dont register reversing lights especially on a Focus as it's so low .

woodhill · 22/10/2018 19:11

They were definitely driving too fast and what happens if there is a child in the car park, people should slow down & take care. It is good manners when driving around the car park to be mindful of other drivers who may need to come out of a space And it was probably clear when OP started manoeuvering and obviously vans restricted the OPs vision and She had to edge out

There is no point reversing into a space in the supermarket carpark because as others have said you cannot get your trolley to the back of the car and I don't want to carry heavy bags right now, that's why you have a trolley.

I think big vans are a pain

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