AIBU to totally lose my shit

[Whiskeywithwater]

With my DD .. who has lost her entire school sports kit on train tonight??

I have only just replaced her school swimming stuff she had previously left on train ... at a ridiculous cost of £60 as costume had to be bought through official supplier - daylight robbery. Just priced up replacing this lot at £205

Feel bloody awful - she was sobbing her heart out, but seriously - £265 of lost kit in 6 weeks, and that’s not including the 4 lunch boxes lost in previous couple of years and untold water bottles.

For context, she’s in year 9 and coming up 14. Should she not have some more responsibility by now. She’s offered her savings to pay for it. I’m tempted to take it - not forever, but keep it for a couple of months to teach her a lesson

Is it not going to end up in train station property somewhere

Is she being bullied and her stuff taken off her?

Make her pay for it

God, I hope so! Swimming kit didn’t. Was in a Superdry bag so am guessing bag was nicked and soggy seimming stuff dumped 😟

If she has offered her savings, then take her up on it. And use her money to pay for the new kit.

Perhaps this episode will encourage her to become more responsible.

Second PP, is it being taken?

She knows you’re angry. It wasn’t malice. I’d stop there. YANBU for being really really annoyed but don’t make her scared of you.

If she is not being bullied then she starts to take responsibility by paying for some of it, surely. She is old enough to know the cost and value.

No - 100% sure not bullying .. she’s just away with the fairies and is careless

Is she always prone to loosing things? Also if dd is using tfl there is a lost property office (things can be returned for a fee) from baker srt station

I'd take her savings to replace it and she'd be carrying her stuff around in carrier bags from now on.

She needs to earn the money to pay to replace it.

By doing chores for you etc I mean.

I’d be annoyed too. Difficult one. If it was my DD, we’d struggle to afford to replace ...

Take her money , if there aren’t any consequences she won’t learn .

I lost everything at school. It wasn't malice. I just wasn't organised. I have taught myself to be more organised but it's taken years and years. People who are naturally organised need to understand that other people aren't. I'm sure she's genuinely devastated. I always was. I didn't understand why I kept losing stuff any more than my mum did and I knew we didn't have much money.

If it makes you feel any better...I was an astudent at gcse and somehow forgot my dt project in the luggage rack, it was a fucking directors chair that never got handed in. I got a C. 9a* and a c because of the fucking luggage rack.

No idea why half of that is bold!

Old enough to go on train alone, old enough to replace lost kit.

Please don't be mad at her! I remember how bad 14 yr old me felt when I left my clarinet on the train, and that was a looooooong time ago. (My parents were really poor and I felt like crap).

Take her up on the offer of savings- she probably feels bad and wants to make it up to you.

Poor kid. Hopefully it will turn up! Otherwise, could you let her pay something towards it but not the whole lot, as a compromise? Or is second hand kit an option, from school thrift shop or similar?

The reason I never leave my keys anywhere, is because the keychain weighs a ton. I don't even have to think about it any more. If I don't have a heavy thing in hand, I automatically get nervous because that means I won't be able to unlock my car or my house.

Does she always have the same bag with her every day, and is this bag big enough/heavy enough/flamboyant enough that once she got used to carrying it around every day, she'd instantly miss it if she wasn't holding it?

If not, get her that bag.

User128, I'm sure there are plenty of us - me included - who are not at all, and never were, ' 'naturally organised' but just had to learn to be fairly early on, certainly by secondary school age, because there would not have been any spare cash to replace carelessly lost items.

If you don't want to use your dd's savings then I'd definitely cut her pocket money pretty drastically for a while - sounds as if she needs to learn the hard way to take care of her things.

She desperately needs to learn that there are consequences for her irresponsibility. Take her money.

Definitely check with lost property office first - it may well have been handed in.