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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bleach my daughter’s hair?

69 replies

hooveringhamabeads · 19/10/2018 22:21

My dd is 14 and is desperate to dye her hair lilac. She has quite dark brown hair so it would need to be bleached first.

In principle, I don’t have a problem with this, she is home educated due to ASD and so no issues with school not allowing it.

However, for insurance reasons salons won’t bleach her hair as she’s under 16. She is CONSTANTLY banging on about getting it done, and has been for ages. So this leaves the option of doing it at home. I have never bleached my own hair so I have no idea what I’m doing, or how straightforward it would be. I’ve warned her that I’m no hairdresser but this hasn’t put her off.

Is this a terrible idea? Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:
ShadyLady53 · 19/10/2018 22:24

My SIL bleached my niece's hair when she was little and it got totally burnt, matted and had to be shaved off.

Ask her if she's willing to wait until she's 16 or if she wants to go ahead knowing if it goes wrong that she might need to cut it all off.

I definitely wouldn't consider it.

Aquamarine1029 · 19/10/2018 22:26

Terrible, terrible idea. It is a multi-stage process to bleach dark hair, and you have no idea what you're doing. You could destroy her hair AND cause terrible burns to her scalp.

Laiste · 19/10/2018 22:26

If you've no experience of it yourself then don't do it. Really. There are about 101 things which could go wrong and 2 or 3 which probably will.

It will cost £££ and much stress to put right.

MsOliphant · 19/10/2018 22:28

No way. It’ll probably end up looking shit and it’ll be your fault.

Aprilislonggone · 19/10/2018 22:28

Just use a non permanent colour. I used a lilac tube on dd's hairs and it was great! Was from Asda.

Rarfy · 19/10/2018 22:28

Dont do it. Seriously dont.

You will never achieve white blonde at home which is what you need to put a pastel dye over the top. Her hair will also be ruined until it all grows out which would take years.

Get her to use a spray or try a darker funky colour.

woooOooOOoollytights · 19/10/2018 22:29

Some kind of clip in extensions may be a good idea. Bleaching isn't an easy process at all.

ileclerc · 19/10/2018 22:29

Really no way, it'll be a disaster.

AgnesBrownsCat · 19/10/2018 22:30

Tell her she has to wait until she’s 16 .

hannnnnnnxo · 19/10/2018 22:31

Don’t bloody do it ‘at home’

Brown to bleach blonde to lilac is extremely intense. You WILL ruin her hair. Period. Her hair will be absolute trash when she is 16 or whatever.

I’m sure you can find a decent salon somewhere that will dye her hair, even if it’s just highlights for now and fully lilac in a year’s time (ie a gradual transition)

Original poster
hooveringhamabeads · 19/10/2018 22:31

Yeah you’ve pretty much summarised my fears about doing it.

And MsOliphant I actually LOL’d at your comment...it WILL be all my fault and she’ll never let it go.

OP posts:
Original poster
hooveringhamabeads · 19/10/2018 22:32

She has such lovely hair too Sad

OP posts:
Delilah21D00LoT · 19/10/2018 22:32

Just say No and mean it!

hannnnnnnxo · 19/10/2018 22:33

Tell her to watch hair bleaching fail videos on YouTube - it will show the reality of straw-like, orange/gingery hair, breakage, thinning, damaged hair, literally losing inches in length etc

Remember that lilac is a cool colour so ALL the warmth needs to be removed. And dark brown hair has a strong red/orange pigment. So she will literally have to go platinum blonde, not even dark/honey blonde will do.

Adviceandguidanceneeded · 19/10/2018 22:34

Loads of Salons will do this I wouldn't do it yourself .

TheDowagerCuntess · 19/10/2018 22:34

Show her this thread and just say you're not willing to do it. She can't force you.

Fatasfook · 19/10/2018 22:35

Let her wait another couple of years.

KickBishopBrennanUpTheArse · 19/10/2018 22:38

I did the ends of my dds hair at that age. We did the bottom 6 inches or so. It was at the beginning of the six weeks hols and she had it cut off in September. Her hair was long so she still had shoulder length hair with no bleach/ damage afterwards.

It wasn't that hard and it worked fine. She was going blue though so not a pastel shade.

I cut a hole in a bin bag and put it over her shoulders. Then painted the bleach on. You need to really rub it in well though or it goes patchy.

Good luck!

Biancadelriosback · 19/10/2018 22:38

How about extensions?

MrsTommyBanks · 19/10/2018 22:39

Bleached and dyed (a myriad of colours) my DS hair at that age. Blue green some in between.
Although tbf he had short hair.
Maybe consider a home hair dresser if you're not confident to do it yourself?

FaithInfinity · 19/10/2018 22:39

I bleached my hair at home in the 90s (think sun-in type stuff). It went brass coloured and like straw. Absolutely horrific. Took me ages to grow it out! I definitely wouldn’t. I’d look at clip in extensions or temporary sprays.

It’s a major thing to achieve lilac hair, she’s probably need to bleach it several times to get it light enough and the toners fade really quickly. It’s not a quick job.

shakeyourcaboose · 19/10/2018 22:40

this has just reminded me of my destruction of my lovely chestnut hair at 16 with bloody sun-in!!

Mightymousie · 19/10/2018 22:41

I did my own a couple of years ago, I have very dark hair. I was a horrifying ginger colour for a long time before blonde... I really like red and ginger coloured hair but not if you are trying to be blonde so that you can take pastel colours! It took 9 hours and my hair was ok in terms of damage, but looked fairly shit! My 18 yr old daughter dyed hers white blonde aged 16, hers is much lighter to start with. It looked good but was a pain to maintain and the pastels washed out very fast. It went straw like quite quickly.

Original poster
hooveringhamabeads · 19/10/2018 22:43

Ah Christ yes I also annihilated my hair with sun in at 14...it went orange.

This is the colour of her hair now.

To bleach my daughter’s hair?
OP posts:
imip · 19/10/2018 22:44

As a pp mentioned, I’d just dip dye the last couple of inches.

My dd has ASD (actually two of them do), but I can see for one this situation would present itself. She’s got a very challenging approach to her hair.it needs a cut and I’ve considered dying the last couple of inches blonde over summer in an effort to get a decent trim (have cut so many knots out over the years that it’s awfully strangely down the bottom).