Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Manspreading he was a CF

92 replies

Soverytired18 · 19/10/2018 21:07

Was on the train earlier and sat down next to a some guy who had his legs and elbows splayed out, I asked him to move them as he was touching me. His response was to tell me if I don’t like it I can move, my response to that was to explain that generally people are fairly more considerate (and he’s obviously entitled tw@t), he then proceeeded to tell me I was crazy. Wtaf? I didn’t want his leg rubbing mine, nor did I want his leg in my space!

Recently, the men I’ve encountered on public transport seem to be particularly boorish and agressive but maybe it’s me?

An example from the other week was one guy kept standing on me and I said you keep standing on my foot please stop, so the fairly young guy next to me proceed to tell me it’s a packed train I’m being unreasonable (there was nowhere for my feet to go as I was sitting down and the guy could have moved elsewhere) and the other guy thanked him. Bless them.

I’m loathe to communicate with anyone on public transport but when I have feet and elbows digging into me fuck that.

Prepared to be told AIBU for ‘complaining’.

OP posts:
IHATEPeppaPigMoresoatHalloween · 20/10/2018 10:04

I'm sure others will tell you like your friend that YOU must be doing something but I encounter these people everyday on my travels. YADNBU and fair play for sticking up for yourself!!

babswindsor · 20/10/2018 10:11

I to have had the manspreading thing done to me, his foot was sticking out so far as I got on the train that I trod on his toe, totally accidentally, I add. However, I carried on to a seat and sat down. He then started to say 'you trod on my foot and you didn't say sorry' . I replied 'well don't manspread then on the train'. But I got a bit frightened because he looked big and tough, so I just shut up.

This is the problem, one has to be very careful incase you challenge someone with a mental health issue, or someone who is a violent person.

Snitzelvoncrumb · 20/10/2018 10:21

Could you use humour to diffuse a situation or at least embarrass them? For example the man with his legs spread out, after asking nicely to move, say I'm sorry but your arse really smells terrible. Maybe if they feel stupid they will move and shut up.

SlightAggrandising · 20/10/2018 10:37

YANBU. jiggling all the way for me. @shreddedbanksy that happens to me quite frequently. Normally try to get OH to swap with me without leaning bloke seeing... then when leaning bloke leans again, OH will say something & leaning bloke will Shit himself.

nonetworkaccess · 20/10/2018 13:48

Don't any of these men have partners/mothers/sisters/female friends who mention how arsey this behaviour is?

I'd be tearing my OH a new one if I knew he behaved like these intimidating arseholes.

YoThePussy · 20/10/2018 14:59

Plump agree, the people (who nearly always are women) who have to sit with their legs crossed annoy me greatly. I don’t want the bottom of their shoe and whatever shit they have trodden in ground into my leg.

TeddyBee · 20/10/2018 15:37

And this is why I avoid public transport as much as possible! I get unreasonably angry with manspreaders and giant bag ladies and ‘I don’t need to hold on because I can just fall against you every time the tube stops and continue reading the FT’ twats. I love my bike so much for saving me from a rush hour meltdown most days.

hannnnnnnxo · 20/10/2018 16:58

people in crowds barged into my children and generally treated them as invisible.

Lol you’re having a laugh. Some parents are incredibly entitled and let their kids do whatever they like, including letting their kids run amok and get in everyone’s way by an absolute lack of spatial awareness. So in fact they are acting like other commuters are invisible! This definitely goes both ways.

Snitzelvoncrumb · 21/10/2018 22:08

People do need to be more careful with children, regardless of their behaviour, as they are easily hurt. I was finding my seat on a plane, my DD would have been about 4-6 months old. Someone was putting their bag in the overhead locker, the person sort of threw the bag, I'm lucky I saw it and was able to push the bag just before it hit my babies head.

generalexpert · 21/10/2018 22:55

This isn't a gender issue. Travelling on public transport in peak time is uncomfortable and it is easy to get a little selfish if you do the same route day in day out.

If you don't like the general unwashed public, don't travel with them.

Blokenamechangesexboard · 22/10/2018 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ALongHardWinter · 22/10/2018 18:41

Ooh this gets my goat when men do this. But something else equally annoying that I've encountered quite frequently recently,is women with enormous handbags, (those square shaped ones with corners) who sit down next to me,with their bag on their lap,but fail to notice that the corner of the bag is digging into my leg. I subtly push it away,and occasionally they notice and apologise,but more often than not,they give me a strange look,obviously thinking I'm odd for not enjoying the sensation of a sharp corner digging into my thigh! Hmm

ALongHardWinter · 22/10/2018 18:45

It's not people with kids holding their hands that annoy me (I would always go round them),it's loved up couples holding hands heading straight at me that piss me off. Despite the fact that I walk with a limp and use a walking stick,they saunter towards me taking up the entire pavement and expect me to walk in the road,or on the dog turd infested grass verge,so that they don't have to let go of their beloved's hand for 5 seconds.

randomchap · 22/10/2018 18:55

It doesn't just happen to women, although it's prevalent against women. The bloke sat next to me at a gig on Friday tried it. He moved his legs and looked embarrassed as soon as I mentioned it. Mind you as I'm a big chap he could just have been a little scared.

My late wife used to ask men if they had something wrong with their legs/hips/groin as no normal man would sit like that and she'd suggest visiting the doctor. Or simply call them an impolite arsehole. That generally got them to move

DontCallMeCharlotte · 22/10/2018 19:37

I was a bit tiddly (and gobby) one night and got on the tube. Went to sit next a manspreader who wasn't moving. I said "Ah, a man with unfeasibly large testicles!" and to my surprise and delight I got a round of applause.

Seriously though, I really don't believe the world's menfolk are staging a covert backlash to "Me too", I just think that in the same way women have a propensity to taking on the mental load, men have a propensity to be thoughtless bastards. And I'm guessing it may actually be more comfortable.

Sarcelle · 23/10/2018 07:41

I asked my DH about manspreaders on trains, and he said men do it to other men too, and they hog the armrest. My friends son said the same.

shearwater · 23/10/2018 07:54

I had someone lean on me in the doorway of the train the other day. It was standing room only but not sardines, and there was no need for him to stand so close. I said to him "Would you mind giving me some more space?" and he turned tail and disappeared down the carriage.

I think he knew he was out of order.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page