To decline invite to wedding so close to Christmas?

[swansandducks]

I've been invited to a cousin's wedding two days before Christmas. I regretted the invite because, frankly, it's such a busy time and I can do without the pressure of having to travel to a wedding as well (2 and a half hours each way, not allowing for extra Christmas traffic, or stay over night)

She's apparently really upset because a lot of her guests have declined the invitation.

Part of me feels guilty but part of me feels that if you plan your wedding that close to Christmas you have to realise that a lot of people won't want or be able to go. AIBU?

AIBU to

For me it would depend on if my DS was invited or not. He's 6 and the lead up to Christmas is one of my favourite times to spend with him. If it was a child friendly wedding I'd roll it in to our Christmas celebration. If I had to leave him home, I just wouldn't go because I wouldn't choose to be away from him that weekend for any reason.

I don't have any cousins but I couldn't imagine not going to my nieces and nephews weddings because it was 3 days before Christmas.

Only 2.5 hours away as well.

You may not be close but if you are I really would make the effort to go.

I don't celebrate Xmas, but I can see that unless you're having a smallish wedding where the wider family and your best mates could make it a part of their Christmas and are likely to be willing to do so, it's not going to work.

It would be the travelling that would put me off.

If the date is only being given out now, then yes bride us going to get declines.

If the date had been given out much earlier, she'd have had a better chance people would come.

I've already got booked and paid for events taking place that weekend, so I'd be turning it down if an invite came along now.

She really should have thought of his. Or someone close to her should have pointed it out.

YWNBU to decline, although I can see you would feel bad about it.

Nephews and nieces are a bit different from cousins Awrite. And a five hour round trip in mid winter, a couple of days before Christmas, is no trivial thing.

Some people like all the busyness in the week or so leading up to Christmas - bringing the kids to the panto, getting together with the neighbours for a drink, going to the school nativity play and the carol festival in the village hall, putting up the decorations (not everyone has them up from late November) and just the hustle and bustle that adds to the excitement.
Having to be all super organised and miss out on a couple of traditional events in order to travel to a wedding would not be everyone's cup of tea.

I agree.

I got married on the 28 Dec, only 1 invitee didn't attend as they are a nhs working and couldn't get leave approved.

We would never have done it before but it was nice to keep the festivities going in the dead big between Christmas and New year :)

My cousin is getting married 3 days before Christmas (totally wondering if you are the brides cousin 😂😂) I was surprised to get an invite to the whole thing and I really really want to go(although it's looking like I might not get time off work) I have 2 kids so the expense is 😱😱 but a positive is it's a child free wedding so at least I don't need to get them something to wear! I think a wedding is a hopefully one time deal and it's nice to make an effort plus I'm thinking if I have to get a new outfit I can use it for my Christmas night out too so saving some pennies.

Everyone is busy around Christmas time and also pretty skint. It’s a terrible time to have a wedding but she has chosen it so has to accept the reality- a lot of people will decline. If it were closer to home I’d say YABU but that’s far too much travelling so close to Christmas, the traffic will be hideous.

I went to a pre-Xmas wedding a few years ago and it was lovely. As previous poster said, it really stood out from the usual summer occasions. It was cosy and cheerful and I got to see lots of extended family who I usually wouldn’t have time to see over the festive season. Plus, mulled wine! I know it’s a bit of a slog to sort out travel and hotels close to Xmas, but in your shoes I’d make an effort to go if possible. You’ll probably have most of your prep sorted by that point anyway and can get back home on the 23rd for last minute stuff.

Where I am the schools break up on the Friday afternoon so it would be tricky to travel the day before, also the traffic will be horrific as everyone will use that day for last minute shopping or to get to family. Airports and hotels will be in busy peak time too so finding somewhere to stay may be problematic. Did your cousin think about that when they set the date? I think it depends on how long you’ve known about the date and how close you are to your cousin whether it’s unreasonable to not go.

Love a Christmas wedding! But I do agree that not everyone can attend due to other commitments.

That being said, it is still 2 months before Xmas and depending on one's situation & the wedding plans there's still time to rearrange one's holiday plans to free up time. Would I 'give up' 3-5 days of Xmas festivities to attend a 'destination wedding' or one that necessitated travel and 2 overnight stays? Probably not. But if the wedding was a day trip (even a long one) or one in which I only had to stay over the night before OR the night of then I might, if it was someone near and dear to me. But for a random cousin I wasn't particularly close to? No.

My DH is Eastern European, and the wider family is scattered to the four winds throughout Europe so they regularly schedule weddings for Christmas time as almost everyone returns home for Christmas and so it’s convenient. I say almost everyone because we don’t go to Poland for Christmas - we have Christmas here. Every year we have squeeze in a trip between the 20th of December to 3rd January to attend another damn wedding, and dodge festive travellers. This year we’re flying there on the 21st and flying back on the 24th... nearly €600. DH will skin alive the next family member who announces a Christmas wedding, he swears its a conspiracy by his mother . He’d probably risk skipping it, but I’m too afraid of offending the MIL. I’ve already got too many black marks against me since I’m not from the old country..

Christmas weddings should be banned... surely they’re disrespectful? Or at least anyone daft enough to have one should expect a long list of absent friends?

Have you looked at accommodation nearby? We got a premier inn in Gatwick on Christmas day for £29 for the night! Although we booked in May? Could you work this into your Christmas plans, it might be a good way to see family at Christmas who you may never of spent the holidays with.

If you really don't want to then YANBU if you are not close cousins.

If it’s family then of course I would go. Weddings trump at home Christmas celebrations especially when you’ve been given so much notice.

I can think of very few things that would prevent me from going to a Christmas wedding. Such a lovely idea. An excuse to chill out and take a break from rushing about sounds like heaven.

You might be in the party mood then. Can you get organised earlier. I have only been to one Christmas wedding it was beautiful.