To think I'll never have a healthy relationship with food.

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Stuck in a year long sugary binge prior to which I ate really well and was very skinny but there just seems no way back to that point without extreme dieting that makes me want to eat even more?

Cut out sugar entirely. Don’t extreme diet, eat as much as you like, just zero sugar- meat, fish, vegetables, eggs and nuts. Nothing processed, no sugar, 1 week, then start letting fruit and dairy back in- but you need to go cold turkey to kill your cravings.

Good luck OP, you have my sympathy x