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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman was bloomin rude!

109 replies

HowCanThisBeRight · 18/10/2018 16:47

Was shopping earlier with my 7m old. Going around the supermarket, she was in her pram and I was chatting away to her quietly, you know the 'oh shall we have chicken for dinner' or mustn't forget to get something for daddys lunch tomorrow etc. She was smiling away and chatting her 'talk' back. Anyway as every so I passed the same woman who looked at me weird, thought maybe I had something on my face lol, Thought nothing more of it.
Got to the till and she was behind me, thenshe said 'excuse me' I replied 'hi' she said 'why on Earth do you talk to such a young child, its not like they understand ?' in quite a sneery tone.
I said ' because that's how they learn '
She replied ' well of you say so'!
Me. I don't 'say so' I know so...and carried on emptying my basket

Maybe I shouldn't of been sarcastic at the end but she was very rude and made it look like I was being odd. I wasn't eden chatting loudly or anything just general chat to my daughter

OP posts:
Svalberg · 18/10/2018 18:42

The younger of my DNs was that used to people talking to her when she was a baby that she gave a running commentary of what she was doing when she could talk - still does sometimes! "I'm just going upstairs to get my book and when I come down I'll have a drink" as she was going up the stairs.

Livpool · 18/10/2018 18:46

My son is 3 now but I did this all of the time when he was younger. As you say, it is how they learn.

Strange lady

User12879923378 · 18/10/2018 18:49

Oh, how nasty she was! You should wheel your baby past my neighbours. They stopped me a few months ago to say how nice it was to see someone talking to their baby instead of fiddling with their phone. (I do plenty of fiddling with my phone but not whilst I'm steering the pram!)

Cakeandmarshmallows · 18/10/2018 18:54

Yet another person holding their hands up to say they talk to their baby! I have long chats with my 5.5 month old everywhere I go!! And certainly in the supermarket!! And before baby I chatted to the cat, and still do, so that she does not feel jealous!! Lol!! Been known to talk to any number of inanimate objects as well.....

Purpleartichoke · 18/10/2018 18:57

Incredibly rude and poorly educated in basic child-rearing. Multiple studies have shown that the more words a child hears when they are young, the better prepared they are for school.

We spoke to infant Dd constantly and 99% of the time we spoke to her like any other human being. (Had to allow for a little baby talk. )

Deadringer · 18/10/2018 18:58

I only bring my DC shopping because otherwise I would be the mad aul one talking to myself.

LimboLuna · 18/10/2018 19:02

I love a burbling baby, carry on talking and having conversations with your little person.
Your absolutely right it is how they learn.

I’m the daft one who pulls faces at babies when mums not looking at check outs.

Jennywren2978 · 18/10/2018 19:02

What a very stupid and ignorant woman. Language is learnt through interaction. When learning to talk children obviously won't say anything in response as they need repetition of words to solidify their understanding and then practice through babbling. Interaction starts at birth. Even pre speech they learn to communicate through gestures and respond to conversation. I work in early years and I interact all day especially more so to those who don't yet verbalize.

Duskqueen · 18/10/2018 19:02

I talk to my DS(13 months) All the time, so I would really piss her off, even .ore so as my DS is forward facing and has been from 6 months. My DD was too and has never been behind in her speech, actually everyone tells me she is very advanced in her speech. My DS isn't talking properly yet but is a very confident walker.

NewMinouMinou · 18/10/2018 19:08

The in-laws used to act as if I was out of my mind when I sang to DS and DD. “WHY are you singing? Ohhh, isn’t she ECCENTRIC, Jeff?”

DP has piss-poor listening skills, but the DC have “interesting and effective vocabularies...” according to school reports.

Athena51 · 18/10/2018 19:22

I used to talk to my DS all the time (when he was in the womb too!) I read to him every day from day one. I think it's lovely that you're talking to your baby and that woman was rude and horrible and just plain wrong.

sar302 · 18/10/2018 19:24

I did this the other day about the fact that there was no basil in Tesco. Except I didn't have my baby with me 🙈 the man next to me actually took a step away...

starzig · 18/10/2018 19:33

I find it weird but saying something about it is even weirder.

DeathyMcDeathStarFace · 18/10/2018 19:52

4 babies, I've done a lot of talking! (Yes, it helps them learn to talk etc.)

Youngest is 8 now and I still do it, and sometimes get a response, even do it with the oldest at 17.

At least with a baby of a few months old you get a response, maybe a laugh, maybe feel appreciated. It's more futile chattering with a teenager as you are more likely to be ignored or not responded to!

Just remember not to do it when you don't have any children in the shop with you! Blush

GreenFieldsofFrance · 18/10/2018 20:07

Same as a pp, I used to do both sides of the conversation when mine couldn't talk yet (and funnily enough they were always telling me what an amazing mum I am )

sizeofalentil · 18/10/2018 20:23

I've had some of my best conversations with things that haven't been able to talk back

thecraicismightierthanthesword · 18/10/2018 20:28

The dog is the only person who listens to me in this house - I take full advantage! She'd hate me - YANBU OP!

MoaningSickness · 18/10/2018 20:46

I can either talk to them or they can both scream while I shop... which would you prefer?

My baby was fine in a sling or pram when I was walking briskly, but if I slowed down to shop browsing speed she would scream unless I constantly talked.

I remember sleep deprived and exhausted narrating the supermarket aisles in desperation for something to say! 'this is the dairy aisle... It has milk and yoghurts'
then getting completely flummoxed by the world food aisle 'this has food from other countries ... except for Italian food because we've already been past pizza and pasta... Or Indian food, because that's a separate section... And there are crossiants and baguettes in the bakery aisle now i think about it... What even is world food?!?' etc. As I say - so sleep deprived!

HairyArmpits · 18/10/2018 20:54

Haven't read through the thread but ignore.
I have always spoken to mine from the day they were born.

Carry on, you are doing a fabulous job and don't give this silly woman another thought.

Ohheyyy · 18/10/2018 20:57

God, if I didn't talk to my DS, who is a similar age, I wouldn't talk to anyone some days.

Maccycheesefries · 18/10/2018 21:04

I read my application form and interview question answers to Maccycat. It's a very important part of the bonding process and she helped me by waggling her tail at the good answers. It worked because I got the job!

CookieDoughKid · 18/10/2018 21:06

I talk to my plants lol

Notquiteagandt · 18/10/2018 21:06

She would think im batshit crazy talking to my unborn child. Shes still inside me but ill talk to her and say things like ooh what a big kick etc whilst stroking her.

She is probally the type of person who doesnt agree with reading to a child that cant read yet also.

I remember reading somewhere the heart breaking story of a family who took their child the dr concerned they where due to start school and still not talking. Unsure how they worked it out but it transpired the parents had never spoken to the child. Ever. Nor socialised much. So the poor child had no way of learning how to talk. Heart breaking.

LostPlatypus · 18/10/2018 21:15

I'm so sorry that woman was rude to you OP.

I walked by a lady and a little girl (who was carrying a handbag - this is relevant) today, and the girl nearly walked into me, which she got told off for. As I was walking away, I heard the lady talking to the little girl about me, saying that I had a pretty handbag, which honestly made my day. I don't think the girl actually said anything (she might have been a little too young) but I would have happily briefly joined in the conversation if I'd been closer. I'm never sure if that's the right thing to do, but if a young child says something to me/about me, or a parent says "look at that lady's handbag" then I tend to take it as an okay to reply.