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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Single sex (girls) high school

117 replies

BambooPlate · 18/10/2018 16:16

Our closets school is single sex and we are likely to get a place for dd. It's a great school but whenever I tell people that dd is likely to go there people are negative about it. They say that it's an artifical environment more bitchy and competitive.

My cousin says she would never send her dd there as girls are more likely to become gay in a single sex school or 'experiment' in this manner. Apart from being a homophobic attitude i believe this is bs right? Hmm

AIBU to think that single sex ed can be a good option? Or is it socially limiting?

OP posts:
kerryleigh · 18/10/2018 16:41

My DDs went to all girls schools from junior infants to leaving cert, one is still in school and what your cousin says is bs. They enjoyed their time, did academically very well and they have proper social skills
They are smart, happy, sociable young women, a joy to be around

as girls are more likely to become gay in a single sex school or 'experiment' in this manner this is pure BS GrinGrinGrin, most ridiculous statement I read in a very long time

Bakingcreampie · 18/10/2018 16:42

Girls tend to do better in single sex schools whereas boys do better in mixed schools.

WhyOhWine · 18/10/2018 16:43

I have one DD at a co-ed school and one at an all girls school. I think both are at the right school for them. . The comment re gay is bs. I don't find the girls school to be particularly bitchy, but maybe my DD is lucky with her group of friends. It is i thinka bit more competitive, but it is also a bit more academically selective so it may be that rather than the fact it is all girls. It definitely suits DD2 who started senior school much quieter than her sister, who was always much more confident. DD2 has massively grown in confidence and i think now it would be hard to notice any difference in their confidence levels. I think it is possible this she has been helped by being at an all girls school - i can imagine she would have been more reluctant to speak up in front of boys.

Cookiemonsterdidit · 18/10/2018 16:44

My dd loves her all girls school. She says there is no messing about in lessons and she doesn't miss boys at all. She does have an older brother (who goes to an all boys school and is very happy there.) They get to see the opposite sex on the bus journey to school and back. There is a definite difference in approach at both schools and they very much target the way girls and boys work. I went to an all girls school and have very happy memories of it.

Bakingcreampie · 18/10/2018 16:44

Posted too soon, it's my first time!

I went to an all girls secondary school and found it a great experience, I'd been to mixed schools for primary and middle school and then went on to a mixed college and I don't think I'm socially awkward Hmm

I wouldn't say they are more competitive as much as more 'cliquey', will your dd know other girls going there?

IFeelSorryForMillie · 18/10/2018 16:44

My cousin says she would never send her dd there as girls are more likely to become gay in a single sex school or 'experiment' in this manner. Apart from being a homophobic attitude i believe this is bs right? your cousin sounds ridicules.

Girls do better in single sex schools.
Teen girls can be bitchy anywhere, so makes no differance mixed or single. at least they won't be bitching and competing over boys.

LittleTechGirl · 18/10/2018 16:45

1000% loved my all girls school. I would say it entirely depends on the child though. About 20% of those who started in my year moved to mixed schools because they preferred it.

GreenLantern53 · 18/10/2018 16:47

*Complete bollocks I'm afraid!

Girls do much, much better in single sex environments. There are numerous studies on this.*

is it the opposite way then? boys better in mixed girls better in single sex??

DragonGoby · 18/10/2018 16:51

I went to an all-girls school and it was a positive experience for me.

Original poster
BambooPlate · 18/10/2018 16:52

I went to a girls school and also loved it but it turn me gay! haha, I love the gay positivity on this thread Thanks

I agree it's a ridiculous notion apart from being bigoted. My cousin says her sil has heard of several girls who "experimented" rather than being gay and that this doesn't happen in a mixed school. I have to be honest, i was quite surprised as i had never heard of this. Of course i have heard about the bitching, eating disorders etc.

We haven't really got a choice but i want to feel confident that single sex won't make dd socially awkward.

OP posts:
SongforSal · 18/10/2018 16:52

I went to an all girls in the 90's. I remember when the band Take That split. I think the teachers nearly had a breakdown trying to keep up with hundreds of girls crying :) I would have sent mine to a same sex had it been an option.

spanishwife · 18/10/2018 16:53

I almost didn't want to help you by writing this comment because of the strange middle paragraph. I hope that's a joke and you aren't that ignorant.

Anyway.... my sister and I went to different girls schools. I hated mine, bitchy nasty bullying culture the whole way from year 7-13, ignored from GSCEs unless it was obvious you were getting into Oxbridge etc etc

However, my sister flourished, got fantastic support and has made life long lovely friendships.

It's about the person, but it can also be about the environment. You won't know until she goes there.

DerelictWreck · 18/10/2018 16:53

Actually no, Green Lantern, both sexes do better when separated, although the difference is more obvious for girls (i.e. they do significantly better).

Cambalamb · 18/10/2018 16:54

My 2 DDs go to a single sex somprehensive. They went to co-ed primary. They have done really well so far and I don't regret it one bit.As for turning them gay Grin

idontknowwhattoput1 · 18/10/2018 16:54

I went to an all girls school 6 years ago, I'm not a lesbian don't think it was more bitchy than any other school personally

shearwater · 18/10/2018 16:54

It very much depends on the school, but DD1 goes to an all girls grammar which has a reputation as a competitive academic hothouse. It isn't.

It is actually a very relaxed environment because they don't have the discipline problems of a lot of schools. There are no draconian rules on minor uniform violations or forgetting your diary as other schools have.

Girls perform better, especially in STEM subjects, when boys are not around.

Butterly · 18/10/2018 16:55

I went to an all-girls school and my DD did too. I work in a mixed school. My DD both excelled at STEM subjects, got amazing results and are so much more confident than the girls I see at work who are used to being talked over by the boys. Single sex all the way for me.

None of us are gay, and I can't think of anyone in my class at school who is gay either.

shearwater · 18/10/2018 16:55

And it is not bitchy, the girls are on the whole extremely supportive to one another.

None of the persistent name calling that went on (mostly boys) in my school. And no sexual assault.

Missingstreetlife · 18/10/2018 16:56

Girls do better in girls schools, boys better in mixed. Academically and confidence, social skills
As in life, married men do better than single, single women better than married.
Because men eat time, energy, resources, are used to making demands, getting needs met and everyone panders to it

Cheerymom · 18/10/2018 16:59

All educational studies on the topic show that, exam wise, girls do better at single sex schools, boys do better in mixed. Giving taught in both over two decades I have no strong feelings. Went to a single sex convent school, thrived. I have worked in both single boys and girls. The girls was great, I am constantly dumbfouned by the 'bitchy' idea re single sex girls' schools. I found a boys only school to be dreadful. Mostly male teachers, military like and cruel. Mixed schools ( I am currently teaching in one) tend to be more like single girls schools. So based on this experience I would happily send either to a mixed but would NEVER send a boy to a boys only school. Too much cultural toxic masculinity culture. Would definitely send a girl to a single sex school.

Cambalamb · 18/10/2018 16:59

No bra strap pinging and no gossiping about who's going out with who. Heaven! I wasted lots of tome in my missed secondary school, all to do with boys. I didn't want the same for my DDs. Their's does allow boys in at 6th form though there are not many.

MoaningSickness · 18/10/2018 17:00

Girls do better in all girls schools. I went to one, and much preferred the so called 'bitchiness' (i.e. girls using harsh words when upset with each other) than the physical violence the boys at my previous school would use...

And no, never had any trouble getting on with guys afterwards and happily to a man.

StoneofDestiny · 18/10/2018 17:01

Went to single sex (girls) school - much better at allowing girls to thrive confidently. No such thing as 'majority boys subjects' or pressure to impress boys.
Of course this is possible in a good co-Ed school, but many are not good at challenging pressures to box girls in.
I first encountered sexism and a 'girls can't' attitudewhen I went to work in a mixed comprehensive - and was massively shocked by it. (It was a good few years ago though).
I would never have sought to send my boys to an all boys school though.

NKFell · 18/10/2018 17:02

I went to an all girls school and didn't find it bitchy at all, it was quite competitive but not in a bad way. It taught me that sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind- that's life!

girls are more likely to become gay in a single sex school or 'experiment' in this manner

Goodness me! What a load of crap! I didn't 'experiment', I'm straight. One of my sisters is gay though Grin She always says that she was pleased she was at a girls school because she was always going to be gay and at least she was in a more supportive environment, i.e. most girls couldn't have cared less!

BarbarianMum · 18/10/2018 17:02

I went to a single sex school bw 13 and 18. It was tough of course - years of being able to learn without the generalised misogyny and sexual harrassment of co-ed schools - but somehow I struggled through, and learnt on the way that STEM was in fact a viable option for girls and girls could study computing too (in my previous school boys "did" computers and girls watched). Hmm

Not sure about the lesbian thing. IME teenage boys were so much more desirable when you didn't have to spend all day with them.