to HATE the construction " have a read of xxx"

[nonevernotever]

Just that really. It's bad enough when someone says it, but it makes my flesh crawl when I see it written down. Also hate "have a lend of" and "give me a lend of"

Am I just a cantankerous old pedant who will die alone and be eaten by Alsatians?

What about have a look/have a swim etc. Do you have a strange reaction to those too?

have + noun is arguably a less formal and more conversational structure than just the verb form itself, but there's nothing intrinsically wrong about it, so no, your reaction doesn't make you a pedant.

I've never heard the "lend" examples.