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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no to this.

75 replies

Thisgirlcant · 17/10/2018 18:34

I've cleaned for an elderly lady for the past 5 yrs. Recently she's started with dementia so I've started doing some some shopping for her as well. She only has an elderly cousin who is her next of kin so a solicitor is looking after all her money. I email them the receipts from any shopping i do and my hours and they transfer the money to me.

The solicitors message me to tell me they'd given my client some money and could I ask her to give me some to do her shopping, she refused saying it's her money and I was to get it off the solicitors, she's a bit confused so doesn't quite get it.

I told the solicitor she wouldn't give me any money, they replied saying they could transfer this weeks money I'd spent but the ladies attorney is on holiday till early November and I will either have to get the money off her or use my own cash which will be refunded to me when her attorney is back.

Wibu to say I don't want to keep spending my own money to do this ladies shopping for the next few weeks and also there's my pay which I won't be getting.

I'm a bit Shock that they expect me, the cleaner to cover her expenses.

OP posts:
Jackshouse · 17/10/2018 18:36

Just tell them that you don’t have the money to do that and they will need to find an alternative solution.

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 17/10/2018 18:37

Surely there’s another attorney in the office covering her work?

DrunkenUnicorn · 17/10/2018 18:38

Yanbu at all!

‘Sorry, that doesn’t work for me. You will need to come up with an alternative solution immediately as I cannot comply with your plan’

bridgetreilly · 17/10/2018 18:39

YANBU. It's not your responsibility. Could they transfer you an amount now to cover the next few weeks, based on previous expenses and then settle up when the person is back?

LeftRightCentre · 17/10/2018 18:41

Fuck that! 'My budget doesn't extend to buying my client's shopping and waiting to be reimbursed. I will therefore no longer offer this service to the client.' NFW should you pay for it out of your own pocket and then chase them for the money. They live in a bubble where they think everyone has money to spare.

minisoksmakehardwork · 17/10/2018 18:42

Yanbu. You should not be left out of pocket.

The solicitors need to find an alternative way of doing this as it sounds like things could get problematic quite quickly.

The alternative is for them to install a safe in the house. You and whoever leaves the money with your client has the combination. They leave cash in there. You put receipts in when shopping is done. They could even leave you your payment for cleaning.

minisoksmakehardwork · 17/10/2018 18:44

I would also be concerned about you being left in a vulnerable position if her dementia progresses and you start getting accused of taking her money - when it's been given to her to give to you.

My grandmother has dementia and would get confused if things had been put down in a different place, thinking they'd been stolen and all sorts.

Singlebutmarried · 17/10/2018 18:45

So they can’t pay you or give you the money for the shopping.

So what money are you going to use!!

I’d be saying no, you’re a cleaner (a lovely one by the sounds of it) who has offered to help out, but you can’t do this at expense to yourself with no reimbursement over a prolonged period or time.

Bluelady · 17/10/2018 18:46

Bridgetreilly's idea is a very good one. Power of attorney names individuals so it's quite possible that what they say really is the case. The solicitors could easily transfer a couple of weeks money to you before this person goes on holiday.

Original poster
Thisgirlcant · 17/10/2018 18:47

The thing is I can afford it but don't see why I should. Last time they owed me nearly £200 and because the lady was waiting for a few more bits for me to buy they said they'd pay me when I'd got them. I've been a bit shocked at them to be honest and their lack of rush to pay me. This lady is very well off. Why they gave her money I don't know? They should have put it somewhere for me to get to.

I did ask if they could transfer me some money for next week but have heard nothing yet.
I think you're right leftrigthcentre!

OP posts:
bringbackthestripes · 17/10/2018 18:48

Tell them to pay you out of their petty cash and for them to claim that back when the other person is back from holiday, see how they like waiting for money. Terrible for them to suggest you use your own cash!

LeftRightCentre · 17/10/2018 18:59

Honestly, they are already taking the piss. Of course they're not in a rush to pay you. I'd actually stop offering this service at all until they set up a means for her to pay for it at the time it's done. I'd be pretty miffed. I actually couldn't afford to front the money and then be paid back later so wouldn't have been able to do the shopping at all without access to a card or cash.

AhNowTed · 17/10/2018 19:00

Fuck that indeed.

The bloody cheek.

Original poster
Thisgirlcant · 17/10/2018 19:12

Thanks everyone. I can be bit soft and I am very fond of this lady but spending my own money for weeks just doesn't seem right.

I think the safe suggestion is an excellent idea. I'll put it to them and say I won't be doing any more shopping until It's sorted.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thisgirlcant · 17/10/2018 19:19

The way she worded the email too 'you will have to' use your own money.
I would have said 'would it be at all possible'

I thought, this persons on a different planet!

OP posts:
Camelsinthegobi · 17/10/2018 19:24

I wouldn’t be happy with the safe option either, tbh. Not enough safeguards for you. What if someone removed the reciepts or lost them and then you were accused of stealing the money? YANBU, though, and you shouldn’t use your own money for this. It’s the solicitor’s problem to sort, not yours.

Decemberly · 17/10/2018 19:26

There is no reason whey the solicitor cannot pay you out of their own funds, and then invoice the client via her power of attorney (assuming that is the situation). Make it clear via email that you are not in a position to use your own funds, and you won’t be taking any further action unless you hear from them with an alternative proposal.

Thisreallyisafarce · 17/10/2018 19:29

This sounds like a very precarious position for you, OP. You are not a cater, you are a cleaner. You are being left with the responsibility for ensuring this woman has food and spending your own money is obviously a complete piss take. You need to put your foot down.

LeftRightCentre · 17/10/2018 20:27

The way she worded the email too 'you will have to' use your own money.
I would have said 'would it be at all possible'
I thought, this persons on a different planet!

That's just fucking rude. You are not her employee. You are doing this as a favour. I'd actually just put a stop to this now. 'This arrangement is no longer working for me. My budget does not extend to providing groceries for my client out of my own pocket and waiting for reimbursement. I will thenceforth no longer be providing the shopping service until an arrangement is made by which I am not expected to be out of pocket for providing this assistance. I am a cleaner, not a carer.'

Because no matter how fond you are of her, you really need to grow a spine and look after yourself first here. These people are not interested in compensating you properly. You are being used.

I'd be livid if someone who is not my employer addressed me like that.

If they have to use a care service they will be billed for the person's time as well.

Original poster
Thisgirlcant · 17/10/2018 21:15

Leftrightcentre I do charge for the time it takes to do the shopping as well. I do agree it was rude.

I will be emailing then to our website and telling them I won't be doing any more shopping unless a different method of payment is put in place.

Thanks all

OP posts:
Original poster
Thisgirlcant · 21/10/2018 16:23

I emailed the solicitor and explained I wasn't in a position to cover the ladies costs and that I didn't think it was down to me.
She said she will try and visit her early next week to explain the situation to her, explain to a 89 yr old with dementia!
I go on Tuesday, what do I do? I can hardly leave the lady with no food! As I said I can afford to cover her costs but feel the solicitors should have been a damn sight more organised.

OP posts:
Bluelady · 21/10/2018 16:46

Does the solicitor understand why they have power of arttorney? It's because their client has no bloody capacity! Please ring them and get this escalated to someone who has some commonsense. What a good thing you're so caring and kind, a lot of people would just walk away.

MereDintofPandiculation · 21/10/2018 16:57

Suggest that in future you have a standing imprest - they pay you, say, £200, in advance, you provide receipts and they top the imprest back up to £200. If you ever give up cleaning/shopping for this lady, then you pay back to the solicitors whatever is remaining of the £200.

WitchyMcWitchface · 21/10/2018 17:06

I think you could put yourself in a difficult position if for example the old lady has her money stolen/lost and then the solicitors come to you because your dealt with her money.
Just don't start - they must sort it out.

BalloonSlayer · 21/10/2018 17:25

" Name of company has power of attorney for X, which means you have the legal responsibility of managing X's money. I am X's employee, and have not been paid. I expect you to arrange for me to be paid. Instead of this, you are telling me - not even asking me - to remain unpaid and to buy X food with my own money. Can you explain this please?"

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