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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to get up when dp gets up at6am?

73 replies

Mummaluelae · 17/10/2018 11:39

Sometimes dp asks me to get up so we can talk whilst he's getting ready ect.
I'd rather not get up an hour before I have to. I
Although I'm a sahm, I put both DC to bed and sometimes they don't go down until 10pm so I'm tired will make a cuppa and watchbtv in bed at that time. I always get up (out of choice) when DC wake up in the night and need to go back to sleep. They both wake up rougly at 7am sometimes before

OP posts:
NewYoiker · 17/10/2018 11:40

Yanbu! If you got up for work at 5am and asked him to get up then to talk would he? How much talking can you even do on a morning? My DH can't do full sentences :/ 😂

AfterSchoolWorry · 17/10/2018 11:41

Yanbu!

The selfish git! To 'talk' ?

How have you not murdered him!?

ElspethFlashman · 17/10/2018 11:42

Is he your Dad??

More fool you for even doing this once, tbh.

Let him put on the radio if he wants company.

MrsMartinRohde · 17/10/2018 11:43

yanbu

in my house I'm the one who is up at 6am but I leave the bedroom immediately and get ready in another room so as to let my DP sleep longer. Sundays I sleep late and he leaves me well alone/keeps kids quiet. it works out well. sleep is vital

Thisreallyisafarce · 17/10/2018 11:43

Ridiculous. Tell him to get up without waking you. How selfish of him!

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 17/10/2018 11:44

How have you not murdered him!?

^THIS with bells on!!!

Do you think he sees this as the only time he gets 1-2-1 conversation with you? Maybe ask him to spend an hour in the evening talking about whatever it is he wants to talk about at 6am? Confused

Original poster
Mummaluelae · 17/10/2018 11:46

I have got up a few occasions but rarely sometimes I just lay wrapped up in the duvet like a sausage roll and talk though haha

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 17/10/2018 11:46

Is he having a laugh? Of course you're not unreasonable. I doubt my husband would like the conversation if he did this

kaytee87 · 17/10/2018 11:46

What age are your children? If young enough to be needing you in the night then I'd try to work on getting them down before 10pm then you'll have some evening together.

Have you told him you're tired?

Upslidedown · 17/10/2018 11:48

I'm a snarling hell beast when sleep deprived so DH (who leaves the house early) probably wouldn't want to wake me up for a chat.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 17/10/2018 11:49

Also what is he doing while you're putting the kids to bed? Does he help? Does he know how tired you are?

blackteasplease · 17/10/2018 11:49

I would kill him. Why doesn't he stay up to talk in the evening if it's so important?

MatildaTheCat · 17/10/2018 12:03

Just say no fgs! DH doesn’t leave until gone 8 and we still generally part company without having exchanged a full sentence.

bellsbuss · 17/10/2018 12:09

OH wouldn't ever ask me to do that as he knows what the answer would be.

Celebelly · 17/10/2018 12:37

Good luck getting any conversation out of me at 6am.

saddnessinseptember · 17/10/2018 12:39

You’re not being unreasonable but neither is he particularly. Childfree talking time is vital in a relationship. Maybe you could come to a compromise...you’ll wake up/get up and talk if the kids had a good night or on a couple of days a week in return for something he could do to help get you more sleep...(lie in at the weekend or get up in the night once a week maybe). It is, at the end of the day a good thing that he wants to talk to you and have your company!!

ZacharyQuack · 17/10/2018 12:40

The next time you have to get up in the night to sort out the DC, make sure you wake your DH for a chat.

Schnickers · 17/10/2018 12:42

Dh gets up at 6.30,i don't have to get up until 7.30. He makes me a coffee and brings it up every morning at 7 and we chat and watch the news while I drink it. Its the best part of my day.

Believeitornot · 17/10/2018 12:42

Maybe he misses you if you’re fannying about with bedtime until 10pm (!!!!!)

So either try and work on bedtime or get up for a ten minute chat with him?

My dh needs to be put of the house before me but I still get up whenhe does and have a bit of a chat.

MarthasGinYard · 17/10/2018 12:42

I'd be furious

Who wants to 'talk' at 6am

MarthasGinYard · 17/10/2018 12:44

I'd also get the dc bedtime routine sorted before 10pm

Healthier for all of you

Candlelights2345 · 17/10/2018 12:45

‘Talk to him’ bloody hell, he should be SILENT whilst you are asleep. I’d be telling him to STFU if he wanted to chat whilst I could still sleep.

FittonTower · 17/10/2018 12:46

If he put one of the children to bed you might have time to talk in the evening....

Dontfeellikeamillenial · 17/10/2018 12:46

Talk about what exactly?

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 17/10/2018 12:48

I don't think its a hugely unreasonable request. Depending on what time he gets home from work each night how long realistically does he get to spend time with you? I would imagine not long since the children's bedtime routine lasts until so late and he obviously doesn't stay up much past 10 if he has to be up at 5am.

From what I can see all he is asking for it a small bit of time in the day where it is just the 2 of you talking about your day etc.