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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to get up when dp gets up at6am?

73 replies

Mummaluelae · 17/10/2018 11:39

Sometimes dp asks me to get up so we can talk whilst he's getting ready ect.
I'd rather not get up an hour before I have to. I
Although I'm a sahm, I put both DC to bed and sometimes they don't go down until 10pm so I'm tired will make a cuppa and watchbtv in bed at that time. I always get up (out of choice) when DC wake up in the night and need to go back to sleep. They both wake up rougly at 7am sometimes before

OP posts:

SillySallySingsSongs · 17/10/2018 12:48

Why are they not going to bed until 10pm?

so I'm tired will make a cuppa and watchbtv in bed at that time.

Is he trying to sleep while you are watching the TV? Maybe he's trying to make a point

Schnickers · 17/10/2018 12:48

What a miserable lot!

BonnieF · 17/10/2018 12:49

DP is one of those crazy individuals who insists on getting up at some ridiculous hour in the middle of the night. If he asked me to do likewise, he would get a very blunt two-word reply. The second of which would be “off”.

To be fair, he would be similarly unimpressed if I asked him to stay up until 1am with me.

Thebluedog · 17/10/2018 12:52

I’d not be doing much talking, more stabbing in the eye with a fork maybe (I’m joking obviously)

My dh gets up v v early, but puts all his clothes etc down stairs. He’s one of these really annoying people who can survive on 3 hours kip. He’s the same at weekends, now he just leaves me in bed and takes the dogs for a walk - although he’s now complaining it doesnt get light early enough

EthelHallowsBroomstick · 17/10/2018 12:56

You’re not being unreasonable but neither is he particularly. Childfree talking time is vital in a relationship

I agree with this. We have a similar thing here where one child is often awake til 10pm (requiring a parent present until then) and the other is awake no later than 6am (meaning someone has to get up then). We've started all (including the other child) getting up early in the hope both kids will go to sleep by 8pm giving us time together in the evening without at least one of us being exhausted!

WeeSausage · 17/10/2018 12:59

Why don't you wake him for a chat when the DC wake up in the night?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 17/10/2018 12:59

Does he wake you up or do you wake up anyway?

No way should you get up. In your shoes I would be trying to go back to sleep.

DarlingNikita · 17/10/2018 13:02

What is he, five?

But I agree, get the kids to bed earlier so you can talk in the evenings.

ThankyouLinus · 17/10/2018 13:03

I think it's quite sweet he wants to chat with you in the mornings. My DP leaves the house at 5:50 every morning, he wakes me to say goodbye. I don't mind at all. It's personal preference. You are not unreasonable to prefer an extra hours sleep

Donna1001 · 17/10/2018 13:03

YANBU.

We both get up early, around this time but don’t talk to each other. I can’t string a sentence together at that time in the morning, & hubby knows not to try & make me!

PlateOfBiscuits · 17/10/2018 13:10

My DP gets ready in the bedroom and I do the sausage roll duvet chat from bed. It’s quite nice to have a bit of time together.

However if I come across too sleepy then she leaves me to go back to sleep and gets ready quietly.

I’d say I do the morning chat 3 days out of 5.

Maursh · 17/10/2018 13:11

At the moment you stay up late to have some quiet time to yourself. You might find that you can make more use of that time first thing in the morning when you are fresh and more productive than at the end of the day.

I am not saying that you should have to get up for your DH, btw just that he is tired at the end of the day as well and it is a good time for you to talk without children interrupting you.

PlateOfBiscuits · 17/10/2018 13:11

Just to add - there’s no way I’d be actually getting out of bed to chat though. It’s unnecessary!

Rhiannon13 · 17/10/2018 13:21

Not trying to excuse it particularly but maybe it's because your children go to bed far too late OP, and he's missing speaking to you alone?

Weathermonger · 17/10/2018 13:27

My husband gets up an hour or so before I do. He values his wellbeing too much to ask the same of me.

newbiegreenfingers · 17/10/2018 13:30

I get up at 5.45 and would in no way expect my DP (who gets up at 7.00 also) to wake up just to chat to me. Perhaps you could ask your DP to stay up late with you after you've put the kids to bed so you can talk and see how he likes them apples?

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 17/10/2018 13:41

I love my own company so people like this who can’t spend 5 minutes alone with their own thoughts just makes me

PhilomenaButterfly · 17/10/2018 13:43

Damn right! I get up when my alarm goes off, not before. Tell him to fuck off, you want your sleep.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 17/10/2018 13:48

so people like this who can’t spend 5 minutes alone with their own thoughts just makes me

I don't see this as him not being able to be alone but rather him wanting an adult conversation with his partner without small children getting in the way. Maintaining a relationship when you have small children who wake frequently and go to bed late can be difficult, but it is good to remember having time together with no children is important. I am sure he would be open to other suggestions but maybe he thought this was a good solution to the problem.

PhilomenaButterfly · 17/10/2018 14:00

Ethel yes, it's similar here in the holidays. DS2 wakes up at 5 no matter what, but DD can't sleep before 9. Then I have to do all the boring adult stuff I couldn't while she was awake.

Allthewaves · 17/10/2018 14:12

It's sweet but not a hope in hell would dh try that with me. I'm not the best morning person to start with

TheFifthKey · 17/10/2018 14:37

I get up at 6.30. I go downstairs and sort the DC out with breakfast, make my lunch etc, then I bring my cup of tea upstairs. If DP is at my house I'll get back into bed with it so we can chat for 30 minutes. I'm not expecting him to get up, but it's nice to have that time together. He can go back to sleep once we're all out of the house. I wouldn't mind if he wanted to sleep, but I'd miss the chance to chat if he's there.

MondayImInLove · 17/10/2018 14:38

Another vote to wake him up when the DC wake you up during the night. Or when you go to bed and he is already asleep.

loveyoutothemoon · 17/10/2018 14:41

Just tell him no. He's selfish for not being quiet while you're still sleeping.

Seaweed42 · 17/10/2018 14:47

Your DH seems to think that you are there 'for him' more than 'for' yourself. He's not a little boy going off to school. He's a grown man. He's trying to turn you into his mother. Good thing you've spotted this early on. Did he by any chance come straight from home or another relationship to live with you?

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