Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to work full time

73 replies

Sunshineandreign · 17/10/2018 09:24

So I currently have a lovely job working part time with the option of home working when it suits me. Im also able to re gig my time around school demands, parents evening trips etc.
Ive recently been contacted about a role which is full time a fantastic career opportunity and huge pay rise,but it will mean I will have to put dc in breakfast club and find afterschool care untill I get home which would be 7.30/8pm.
Which means I will barely see dc in the week.
AIBU to accept?

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 17/10/2018 09:33

How old are the dc? Do you have a partner, support from parents, inlaws?

Forgotmycoat · 17/10/2018 09:34

I wouldn't accept it if it meant barely seeing my dc during the week. It wouldn't make me happy. Jobs will come and go but the time and opportunity to be more present in your children's lives and actively parent them will not return.

AiryFairy1991 · 17/10/2018 09:40

What do you want to do? (For what it’s worth, I accepted the full time job with higher pay and didn’t regret it. But I’m a teacher so the holidays kind of made up for it?).

I don’t think there’s any right answer and you should decide what would make you happiest.

Trottersindependenttraders · 17/10/2018 09:52

If you have been contacted op, does that give you any more opportunity to ask for some flexibility such as working from home a couple of days a week or shorter hours?

ArialAnna · 17/10/2018 09:58

If I were you I would go for an interview and then push hard to negotiate some working from home days and/or shorter hours on some days, if they made me an offer.

WorraLiberty · 17/10/2018 10:02

Surely their ages are a massive part of whether we're going to think you're BU or not?

Without that info, I doubt anyone can really decide.

Although if they're young enough to need a breakfast/after school club then I'd guess 7.30/8pm is far too long a day for them.

Original poster
Sunshineandreign · 17/10/2018 14:22

Oh sorry just carching up 6 and 8

OP posts:
Goingonandonandon · 17/10/2018 14:23

that's a long day. I wouldn't do it myself, I think that from breakfast club to 8 pm is way too long.

Original poster
Sunshineandreign · 17/10/2018 14:26

In answer to support question its just me.

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 17/10/2018 14:27

In that case OP I wouldn't in your shoes.

Sirzy · 17/10/2018 14:27

Would you be able to find childcare that worked that late? And after paying it would it make it worthwhile?

Ginseng1 · 17/10/2018 14:34

I have a part time job like this. Boring & miss the company but I'll put up with it I know I'd hate not seeing kids so much at this stage. I use childminder 3 days a week n that's enough for us. & if kids sick etc I can be there. But if I needed the money might be different story though.

Original poster
Sunshineandreign · 17/10/2018 15:17

Yes we have a live out nanny share with another family as I currently finish wprk at the same time but only 3 days not 5.
But yes I agree its a long day and went part time so O could spend more time with them but do feel a bit lile my brain is wasting away....

OP posts:
Original poster
Sunshineandreign · 17/10/2018 15:18

As my numerous typos show

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 17/10/2018 15:20

What if they hate the care? Mine does but she only does a couple of hours of after school. I couldn't leave in in pre- and after- if she hated it as much.

MisstoMrs · 17/10/2018 15:23

I think it depends on your children. If they are outgoing and likely to continue to thrive with wrap around care then do it. If not, then unfortunately you may have to think again. It’s very hard balancing being a person and being a parent. All the best with it.

hooveringhamabeads · 17/10/2018 15:29

I think if they enjoy spending time with the nanny it could work out. Realistically, when my youngest (8) gets home from school, she likes to do her own thing until tea time, and the best bit of quality time together we have is the hour or so before bed, where we chat and read stories and have a cuddle. You’d be back for that bit. It is a long day but you’d be seeing them before they went to bed, and you might not get this opportunity again.

Hillarious · 17/10/2018 15:58

I think they deserve better than to be in childcare for that amount of time in a day.

WorraLiberty · 17/10/2018 16:06

But yes I agree its a long day and went part time so O could spend more time with them but do feel a bit lile my brain is wasting away....

Well maybe it is, but I don't think that's reason enough to make a 6 and an 8yr old do a twelve hour day.

I can't even imagine what time they'd end up getting to bed.

MereDintofPandiculation · 17/10/2018 16:08

At a younger age mine were in care from 7am to 7pm. Childminder was willing and able to do a lot of the "chores", so we got the fun time, and of course we had weekends together. Advantage for the children was they got a calm, reasonable relaxed mummy instead of a stressed and irritable one.

Namelesswonder · 17/10/2018 16:15

You do what’s best for you. My DC have always had wrap around care 8am till 7pm (afterschool in own home with ‘nanny’). I see them for bath/bed time and story. And all weekend. They are fine!!! I’m happy and earning enough to provide for us. Do what works for you and ignore those who denigrate you for doing something different to them.

Isleepinahedgefund · 17/10/2018 16:38

Any chance you could do the new role a bit part time but more full time? 30 hours maybe (if they're amenable). I'm a single parent to a six yr old and after a few years of working very part time I'm finding that 30 hrs over five days gives me that "full time" feeling that stops my brain rotting, but also allows me to have a good work life balance.

You are totally not unreasonable to want this for yourself by the way. I think the kids will be fine, and it sounds like you have access to the childcare you'd need.

waterrat · 17/10/2018 16:57

Only you can decide but at that age I would want to be with my kids more than that.

You would also be stretched incredibly tight in terms of work life balance in all areas.

I would say you would do it on a four day week and see what they say

waterrat · 17/10/2018 16:57

Also that's when my dh gets home each day and he finds it exhausting and stressful. Even in a job he likes.

Caprisunorange · 17/10/2018 16:59

Why would the children be doing a 12 hour day? OP said she wouldn’t be home until 7-8, children won’t be in after schoool club until then. Presume they’ll be with their father?

What would a man do OP?

Swipe left for the next trending thread