To wonder why on EARTH

[catchykissy]

You would have a child if you're going to get a round the clock nanny?

What's the point???

Trophy kids to create the perfect family. Got to have someone to wheel out for the annual Christmas card

Perhaps tough work commitments?

Rich?

Realisation that parenting is fun or fulfilling for about 4 minutes and 30 seconds a day
with the rest of the time like wrestling cats into a bag, listening to fucking non stop whinging, wondering what the fuck you're doing when you could be eating a croissant in peace?

Maybe they like sleeping and can afford to?

Because not everyone wants to do the same thing?

I appreciate not everyone wants to do the same thing. But if you don't want to raise a child then don't have one

Anyway, it's going to get a hell of a lot harder to get a job soon, let alone a nanny.

You're coming on quite strong here, OP. What situation are you referring to?

Because you’d have help for all the shitty bits 24/7. The nanny could hold the baby while you deal with the toddler on the potty. They could get teeth done and you could focus on the nice chat and reading books after. You could grab a coffee while the kids are definitely being kept safe rather than hiding from them hoping they won’t suddebly decide to chew the TV cable. When you’re getting in and out of the car with 3 kids you could have 2 of them being held and monitored safely while you reach in for the baby. You could head out to work all day and come in without having to hit the ground running, desperately trying to mind kids, cook, do homework, worry about fitting in baths etc.

24hr Nanny doesn’t necessarily mean you never parent. It’s just help.

I think most people would parent much more effectively if they had a full time nanny, actually. It’s just a luxury most can’t afford.

TAAT, then?

Well I seriously doubt anyone has a ‘round the clock nanny’ because that would be illegal in terms of employment rights. Are you anti live-in nannies (often a necessity if parents have irregular working hours), maternity nurses (extremely common in some cultures) or just childcare in general?

Do you mean people who don't work?

When I was a single mum of one I had a full time child minder for my eldest. Dropped him off at 9, picked him up at 5 and loved the time we spent together (and thought parenting was pretty easy). Now I'm a harassed (albeit married so sharing the horror), worn down mum of four kids, one in puberty, one approaching loudly and two younger ones that like to push boundaries. I really wish I could afford a nanny. If I could I'd have one in a second, and go back to being an amazing mum for two hours a day rather than a stressed out monster all of the time.

Gosh I'd LOVE a nanny! Age 5+ is okay but 1-4y age kids are horribly unrewarding to parent. It's 85% tunnelling through real or metaphoric shit.

I'd be so much better a mum if I was rested and not trying to split myself into 3 all the time.
The vast home / garden and unlimited high quality childcare are the only things I sometimes envy about Wills & Kate. I think how nice it would be to not feel constantly frazzled because of DTBs and DS1 bouncing off the walls in a tiny terraced house with no garden, and a nanny to cover everything for me and DH to go away together for a weekend and remember why we married each other instead of feeling like exhausted co-workers in the same failing business that's losing money hand over fist.

~Then obviously I have a little word with myself and remember that I am jolly lucky to have the problem of being frazzled by 3 kids.~

A full time nanny costs about £35K per year. Right? So to have one round the clock, you'd be paying 3 times that salary.

Realistically most families who have as nanny only have one who covers about 60 hours per week. That still leaves a lot of hours for parents to be parents. On that basis, YABU

Because you get all the fun parts and someone else to do the tedious stuff? Sounds awesome to me!

It’s literally none of your business, OP. And as you’ve admitted that this is a TAAT, it won’t last much longer.

It's not a thread about a thread. A thread got me thinking. So I created my own thread. It's not really difficult to understand.

I never understand the "it's not of your business" responses. Nobody would ever discuss anything ever if you couldn't discus stuff that isn't your business 🤔

But thanks for your replies. Maybe nannies are more common then I thought! I just personally dont get why you'd not want to put your own children to bed, as an example

You realise it's not the Victorian ages? Having a nanny doesn't mean they're in a separate part of the house, brought down to socialise with the parents for 30 minutes a day?

Yes. Believe it or not, I'm quite aware it's not the Victorian times. Thank you for checking I'm aware.

Because bedtime is often torturous, full of whinging and bargaining after a tiring day.

Bedtime in this house can often last until 10pm (ASD 6 yr old). She also still wakes in the night and has violent meltdowns. So much as I love her, I'd love a break occasionally. And be abuse of all this babysitters are virtually impossible to get. So it'd be nice for me a dh to go out together once or twice.

The last 6 yrs, especially the last few have felt like some sort of hell and survival. I'd quite happily farm out some of it if I could.

So you're aware every nanny relationship will be different, I would bet such an insignificant number of families actually use a nanny to do absolutely everything 24/7 that it's not even worth talking about.

Well then don't reply if it's not worth talking about