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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Friend judging my car seat safety!

63 replies

mollibu · 16/10/2018 15:52

Hi all!

AIBU to still have my 4 year old rear facing in the car? I've fallen out with a good friend of mine as she keeps making sly comments and digs about my 4 year old in a rear facing car seat.

Please tell me if IABU?
Thanks!

OP posts:
Hideandgo · 16/10/2018 15:54

You can have whatever seat you like within the regulations.

Not sure there’s anything else to say other than friends who keep making digs at you are not great friends.

welshweasel · 16/10/2018 15:54

What’s it to her? It’s the safest way for your child to travel. So long as you don’t go on about it to her all the time then what’s the issue. And of course YANBU to keep them rear facing.

QueenCity · 16/10/2018 15:55

Of course YANBU. I had the same problem with my SIL. Just ignore and know you are doing the best thing for your child.

Bambamber · 16/10/2018 15:57

YANBU

I comments from the in laws all the time. I've explained to them why, but they just say things like ' Oh a short journey won't hurt. Because obviously accidents only happen on long journeys Hmm

AssassinatedBeauty · 16/10/2018 15:57

Goodness YANBU. She's being weird, it doesn't affect her at all. Some people seem to take other people's different decisions as an insult. Odd.

DragonGoby · 16/10/2018 15:58

It seems sad to fall out over such a trivial thing. You say she's a good friend, so if this is the only issue I would try to get past it.

ILoveMyMonkey · 16/10/2018 16:01

I'd call her out on it, if she's a good friend she'll apologise and shut the fuck up. If she's not and continues with the digs or gets annoyed at you for calling her out on it then she's not your friend and you're better off without.

Madratlady · 16/10/2018 16:02

Why would you criticise someone for choosing the safest option for their child? How odd.

Cherries101 · 16/10/2018 16:05

Do you have an extendable rear facing seat meaning the passenger has to sit scrunched up? If so I could probably see why she was annoyed. In that situation you should moved your child’s seat to your side.

pretendingtowork1 · 16/10/2018 16:06

Much safer for your child, she’s an idiot.

itsboiledeggsagain · 16/10/2018 16:10

how do you fall out with a friend over this. I dont agree with everything my friends do nor do i suppose they do me, but dont you just get on with it?

LemonBreeland · 16/10/2018 16:10

Does she have a similar aged or younger child that is forward facing? If so then people can often feel you are judging them as they have not chosen to do the same as you. Despite the fact you may have never said anything about that.

Whatever her reasons tell her it is your choice and she is annoying you with her constant comments.

MaverickSnoopy · 16/10/2018 16:16

I went through this with Dsis when dd was 2yo. This was before the new rules came out and before it was more widely known that RF is safer. She told me it was a myth and was damaging my dd. I had to be quite assertive and in the end, as sisters we moved on. For your friendship I say just leave it. If she's going on at you about it constantly then I'd probably keep reminding her that it's your child not hers. We also had some of DHs family with children say similar, they absolutely felt like we were judging them (they told us this), but we really weren't.

MyBrexitGoesOnHoliday · 16/10/2018 16:18

You have a car seat that is safe and legal. I can’t see the issue.

I do see the issue iwth making sky comments and digs though. I wouod struggle to saty friends with someone like this...

tenbob · 16/10/2018 16:27

cherries
The driver's seat has to be in a position which puts them in the correct position to properly drive the car, not one which appeases a passenger who wants to stretch their legs out

I'm boggling at how you can fall out with a good friend over your own child's car seat. There is either a massive backstory, or one of you has dodged a bullet

Scrumptiousbears · 16/10/2018 16:29

I think you need to have the confidence in your decision OP. If my friend criticised mine I'd just think "whatever love"

Mia1415 · 16/10/2018 16:29

I personally wouldn't use rear facing at that age, however I wouldn't comment to someone that was.

We all parent differently.

Elephantinacravat · 16/10/2018 16:33

You've fallen out over a car seat? Confused

SirVixofVixHall · 16/10/2018 16:34

Mine were rear facing until they were too large for the seat, which was at around 8.

Celebelly · 16/10/2018 16:34

Why on earth is she making digs about you choosing the safest way to transport your child? Weird. Doesn't sound like much of a friendship to me.

AlphaBravo · 16/10/2018 16:35

It's the safest way for them. We're getting the diono radian 5 so we can rf until littlealpha is 7!!!!!

AlphaBravo · 16/10/2018 16:36

@Mia1415 why wouldn't you when it's the safest way and actually way better for hip development and comfort? Bizarre.

Orlande · 16/10/2018 16:36

It's legal so it's up to you.

AssassinatedBeauty · 16/10/2018 16:39

"You've fallen out over a car seat?"

I would imagine it's the constant sly comments and digs from the friend that has caused the falling out. It's such a shame she's been so petty about something totally unimportant to her.

As a PP has said, if she's previously been a good friend then (if you haven't already) bring it up with her and tell her to stop commenting about it. If she reacts badly then you know where you stand.

Moneypenny007 · 16/10/2018 16:39

I have issues with a friend having her kid on her knee when she is either a passenger or driving...
I have a rfs but it swings forward. My ds is usually forward facing in it.
He is huge for his age and gives out a lot when rear facing.

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