AIBU? Friend judging my car seat safety!

[mollibu]

Hi all!

AIBU to still have my 4 year old rear facing in the car? I've fallen out with a good friend of mine as she keeps making sly comments and digs about my 4 year old in a rear facing car seat.

Please tell me if IABU?
Thanks!

It's not going to affect development in the slightest unless you spend an inordinate amount of time in the car.

He's also facing the back of a chair if he's forward facing... and I chat to my children all the time about what they can see, because I've just seen it. It's not difficult.

Forward face if you like, because you prefer it and you're not concerned about the difference in crash safety, but don't make up daft reasons why forward facing is better for development!

The majority of the people I know rear faced until 4. You can still talk to your child and there’s plenty of other opportunities for learning. The excuses some people come up with because they just don’t want to rear face are bizarre.

We've had digs too. DS is almost 3 and we have a seat that RF until 25kgs, he's tiny so I suspect I'll turn him before he outgrows it as the way he's going that'll be when he's 11! I never mention he's 'still' rear facing unless asked yet people still comment and give reasons why there's aren't. I couldn't care less why you don't rear face your kid- the information is out there and if you choose differently then so be it!

I don't judge anyone's car seat preference unless they have 2 year olds in high back booster or whatever. Mainly because you don't know the full picture.

DS went forward facing earlier this year when he was 2. Me and dp had a long hard discussion weighing up the danger of him crashing the car because ds spent entire car journeys screaming and creating or turning him forward. We decided that preventing a crash overall was more important.

Little sod has since worked out how to get out of the straps no matter how tight we pull them so we need to keep an eye on him anyway.

Eventually the culture will change and extended rear facing will become the norm. We are the only people we know who did ERF and DH's family especially were very , but the crash test information absolutely convinced me it was the right thing to do. Regarding legs, sit on a seat with your legs dangling, and see how comfy that is for any length of time. Long legs are absolutely fine bent at the knee.

We did some lengthy journeys with the dd rear facing at 7 ish, she was perfectly comfortable. It is a myth that past toddlerhood there isn’t enough room in a rear facing seat.

It's also a myth that rearfacing seats take up more space than FF seats - if installed correctly a forward facing seat should have a minimum 50cm gap between the seat back and the back of the seat in front at the smallest point.

I have Axkid Minikid which goes to 125 cm and 25 kg. That's 50th percentile for 7.5 year old UK boy

Same here, although our toddler is a bit of a giant - I'm guessing he'll be out of it by 6.

I did loads of research into safety statistics (child car fatalities are much lower in Sweden), so I knew I wanted an extended rear facing seat that had passed the Plus test. We've got a forward facing seat in the other car, but it rarely gets used.

FormerlyFrikadela01 have you tried the BeSafe belt collector? It's an anti escape device but has been crash tested and is really easy to put on and cheap! Works better than the more expensive ones too.

incarsafetycentre.co.uk/product/belt-collector/

overagain

Thankyou for that link. I've never seen them before so just ordered one. The kids like Houdini, no wonder I'm going grey.

FormerlyFrikadela01 there are other 5 point antiescape harnesses but they are more expensive and that one is pretty effective.

assassinated - my DS spent 4-5 hours in the car with me everyday until he was 3 and then 2-3 hours a day when I moved jobs. It was the only chance I really got to communicate to him. Judge all you want. I’m comfortable with my parenting decisions. As I say I personally wouldn’t use a rear facing seat, but I don’t judge others that do.

I'm not judging your use of a forward facing seat. Just your assertion that rear facing seats will affect development or interfere with communication somehow.

When forward facing they are looking at the back of the seat in front of them, and what they can see around it. They cannot make direct eye contact with the driver because the driver can't turn round to look at them.

When rear facing they are looking out of the back and side windows, around any back seat headrest that might be there. They cannot make direct eye contact with the driver because they're facing away from them.

It's all the same difference really. I cannot see how anyone could make any kind of argument that one way round is any better than the other for communication/development.