Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How much tech do your DC have?

78 replies

Greenergrass11 · 15/10/2018 13:12

I think my ex is spoiling our DD by buying her too much ‘tech’ but he won’t listen.

She’s 9 and for the last 3 Xmas / birthday (so since she was 7!) she’s had iPhone for birthday, laptop for Christmas, newer iPhone for birthday and he’s talking about buying her an iPad for Christmas. AIBU to say I don’t want her to have the iPad as it’s unnecessary and I worry he is spoiling her?

What tech do you dCs have and at what ages etc?

OP posts:
ifoundthebread · 15/10/2018 13:17

My dd is only 3 and has the main living room tv sometimes lol. But my neice (12) and nephew (9) both have iPhones, neice has a laptop, nephew a desktop pc as wanted it for gaming, neice has an iPad, nephew has a switch and Xbox 1. Nephew wants a ps4 for Xmas and knows hell get it as he won't ask for anything else. Now that's too much tech imo, to me a big tech gift like that is acceptable for a Christmas gift but not for birthdays.

1stTimeMama · 15/10/2018 13:20

My daughter has just turned 9, and has a Kindle. That's it.

We have 1 tv, in the living room, and my husband has a laptop that the children can use if they need to.

I don't know why a 9yr old need a a phone at all, let alone an iPhone?

LaDameAuxLicornes · 15/10/2018 13:21

That would be far too much technology for a 9-year-old in our house, but different parents do have very widely varying expectations on these things.

The ideal solution would be for you and ex to discuss it amicably and come to a compromise that works for both of you. But if that's not possible, presumably iPad can be kept as something "just for dad's house"? At least that will cut down massively on the time she'll spend on it, and it won't be kicking around the house to annoy you.

speakout · 15/10/2018 13:22

A 9 year old with an iphone??

OH and I don't have iphones.

Unnecessary

Original poster
Greenergrass11 · 15/10/2018 13:25

He bought her a phone to contact her on the days he doesn’t have her. It was an older iPhone at first but then new games would come out she couldn’t download as the model was old so he bought her a newer one! I just don’t see why an iPad is necessary I feel like he just wants her to be able to be the kid with everything (especially as dad bought it!!) which is so against my upbringing/parenting style

OP posts:
TheStoic · 15/10/2018 13:26

My 10yo daughter has an iPhone, an iPad and a laptop. They’re all quite old and were hand-me-downs.

It doesn’t really matter (to me) how many devices they have, as presumably they only use one at a time...

Can you explain how you think getting an iPad would ‘spoil’ her? I agree though that it doesn’t seem necessary. At 9, no devices are really ‘necessary’.

Original poster
Greenergrass11 · 15/10/2018 13:29

TheStoic just because of the cost and how much she already has. He spends so much on her anyway, even more on birthdays and christmases. Obviously I buy her bits for Xmas and birthdays too and family members etc and she just ends up with so much I don’t think she really appreciates it all!

OP posts:
TheStoic · 15/10/2018 13:33

Yes I totally understand.

But it is just a ‘value judgement’, it’s not right or wrong. I can’t deny though that it makes me twitchy to see kids getting lots of expensive gifts.

TheSteakBakeOfAwesome · 15/10/2018 13:41

5 and 6 year olds. They've got a kindle fire each with the fire for kids subscription on it plus a really ancient knackered laptop I've put shortcuts to various age appropriate websites on the desktop for that they can use and use to email grandparents as well on.

I would love them to have access to an iPad but that's because one has SN and struggles recording via handwriting and a lot of the good assistive technology apps (there are ones where you can photograph a worksheet and then type your answers anywhere on screen and the like - a godsend if you struggle with getting what you know down in handwriting) either are iPad only, or a much better version on the iPad and the Android version is a feature-stripped port over (SnapType I'm looking at YOU) - so I'm trying to save up to buy a family iPad that's mainly actually intended for that use.

hestia2018 · 15/10/2018 13:57

My 10yr old has a tablet (not an iPad, it’s an Android one as it was cheaper, but I think IPads are better) which is useful for travelling / long car journeys etc.

He doesn’t have a phone yet but will get one soon as he is starting to travel home from school by himself.
We also have a Switch games console which the family share.
However what he actually likes best is going on my desktop computer and watching YouTube videos of other people playing computer games ..... Hmm

I think it’s fairly common for kids to have lots of tech nowadays and they also use computers at school. What I think is more important than number of gadgets, is parents engaging in what they are doing in the screens - making sure it is age appropriate, setting some rules (eg no screens at dinner / in bed), maybe suggesting different types of games (there are some great educational games), keeping a close eye on social media.

Sowhatifidosnore · 15/10/2018 13:59

2 kids 6 & 8 - we have a family Switch console and that's it for the kids. They don't have phones, laptops or their own iPad although i have all 3 obvs which they use occasionally for homework only.

RiverTam · 15/10/2018 13:59

I'm happy to judge away about this kind of thing, you have to be all kinds of blind not to be aware of the problems these things can cause for children.

DD is nearly 9 and has nothing of her own, and she won't for quite some time. She will get a brick phone when she travels to school alone.

TheDarkPassenger · 15/10/2018 14:03

My boys have Xbox’s and tablets that only get used at granny’s
Eldest is 10 has an old iPhone and switch too but the switch was bought by someone else and has been redundant since about 30 mins after he opened it.

My 3 year old has a tablet

Me and oh have Xbox each iPhone each and tablet each.

I’m a fan of tech Smile

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 15/10/2018 14:05

My daughter is 5 and has her own tablet with some games and films I've downloaded for it.

S for telling him not to give one to her, he can at his house if he wishes.

Notso · 15/10/2018 14:05

18 year old has a iphone, a laptop and a TV in her bedroom with a now TV box.
14 year old has a pc (not in bedroom) and an iphone.
7 and 6 year olds share a kindle fire.

We're considering a Nintendo switch for Christmas as a sharing gift. Although I'm worried it'll just cause pestering.

PatriciaHolm · 15/10/2018 14:11

Well; at 12 and 14 they have phones each, an iPad each, DD has a laptop and we have a Playstation.

At 9, they had tablets each but not phones and I think that's about when we got the playstation.

What does the laptop actually get used for? maybe negotiate trading that in for the tablet?

hestia2018 · 15/10/2018 14:13

By secondary school a certain amount of tech is necessary. Phones for travelling aside - they get homework projects which involve research to be done on a computer, she has a school email account, and for maths some of the homework has to be done on a specific website. For this reason we got her a laptop so she can do her homework in her room without siblings distracting her.
Pretty much every secondary school I have visited now has a computer suite in the library particularly for those children who don't have a computer at home. Personally I prefer that she can do her homework on a laptop at home, so she can ask me if she needs help, and is not relying on a school computer being available.

hestia2018 · 15/10/2018 14:16

Sorry posted too soon!

But at age 9 I am not sure what an IPad can do that the Iphone and Laptop can't do? Maybe as others have said the Ipad stays at his house?

LinoleumBlownapart · 15/10/2018 14:16

6 year old and 9 year old have a Kindle Fire each.
13 year old has a Samsung phone and so does the 15 year old.
15 year old also has a gaming PC and 13 year old has a laptop. The two little ones have a play station 3 that belonged to their brother, but mostly it gathers dust.

I too think it is important to teach them how to use tech responsibly and keep an eye on what they are doing/watching with it. My teens don't go overboard with tech because they know too much is not healthy. They don't use social media much. My little one could spend hours on his fire so we teach him how to do other things. My 9 year old plays a bit, but he has learnt to restrict himself.

lessthanBeau · 15/10/2018 14:17

My almost 10 dd has a tablet, a ps3 and TV in her room, and uses our pc for gaming. The TV is our caravan TV. The ps3 is hand me down from dh (tech daddy has ps4 in living room ) no phone cos who's she gonna call? Her tablet is getting old now so she's getting a new one or one of those 2in1 laptops for Xmas. She wants her own pc in her room but I've said no to that as we'd never see her again. Dh is a programmer so we've always got old tech hanging around which gets passed down he could build her a pc from the stuff we've already got but I said no.

Armchairanarchist · 15/10/2018 14:21

At nine there's absolutely no need for a phone. I waited until they would be walking alone to secondary school. My children did have all the rest of the tech you write of at that age plus the latest xbox each and digital TV.

PhilomenaButterfly · 15/10/2018 14:22

They have a tablet each and DD has a non-smartphone so she can contact me if she's out.

BlooperReel · 15/10/2018 14:24

Almost 10 year old DC has my hand me down Samsung (about 3 models 'old'), a tablet and a tv in their room. But we do not allow unlimited screen time and they are good at sticking to the rules.

DragonGoby · 15/10/2018 14:27

My DC are 9, 11 and 12. They have:

A shared family iPad
A shared family laptop
The older two got a second hand iPhone for their 11th birthday

That's it.

Leafyhouse · 15/10/2018 14:33

I'm a great believer in tech. After all, I work in the industry. Both of my DC's (11 and 9) each have an iPad, iPhone and laptop, all of which are rotated out and kept up to date as required (think we're on about our 3rd iPad by now). They also have Nintendo Switch, Xbox, Raspberry Pi and Kindle e-reader. In addition, they have their own e-mail accounts and a central storage area for files. Finally, they both have an Oyster Card (for travel in London), and contactless debit card (Go Henry). These are the main tools for the modern world, IMHO.

I really take issue with people who say they are 'slaves to technology'. These devices are here for your convenience - either learn to master them, or they'll master you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread