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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How much tech do your DC have?

78 replies

Greenergrass11 · 15/10/2018 13:12

I think my ex is spoiling our DD by buying her too much ‘tech’ but he won’t listen.

She’s 9 and for the last 3 Xmas / birthday (so since she was 7!) she’s had iPhone for birthday, laptop for Christmas, newer iPhone for birthday and he’s talking about buying her an iPad for Christmas. AIBU to say I don’t want her to have the iPad as it’s unnecessary and I worry he is spoiling her?

What tech do you dCs have and at what ages etc?

OP posts:

LegoLady95 · 15/10/2018 22:28

DS10 has a PS4, a laptop and a raspberry pi (he does lots of coding on the pi and laptop).
Him and DD5 use my old samsung phone as a tablet between them, and I have just put a SIM in there so I can contact him if he is home alone. He has a couple of friends and family phone numbers in there, but he is not allowed to take it out of the house (and DD still uses it as a tablet too). She has no other devices.

Oh, and DS seems to use my kindle more than I do.

Akanamali · 15/10/2018 22:32

Some of these posts really made my teeth itch. Children don't need all the latest gadgets to 'master' tech. We have a family Switch and they share a kids' kindle. My eldest (8) also has access to a shared laptop which he takes to coding club and occasionally uses for homework. Neither of them will be getting phones until they're secondary school age.

MarthasGinYard · 15/10/2018 22:37

My dc won't be getting a phone either. I'm stunned the amount of young kids that have phones.

GoodbyeSummer · 15/10/2018 22:56

My 6&7 year olds have a shared tablet (not an iPad or anything flash; it's a basic Vodafone's own brand one) that they have to earn time on.
They also have access to the Sky+ box and TV (but I disabled the YouTube app on there).
They have their own vtech cameras and the youngest has one of those action cameras.
The eldest wants a phone but I've said not yet. They can have one when they start walking to & from school by themselves in y5/6.

TantricTwist · 15/10/2018 22:57

Nothing wrong with kids having phones if they have family and friends they want to keep in touch with. My DC only got their own mobile phones when they started secondary School.

Before that they shared an old iPhone between them when they walked alone without me to their Primary School Yr 5 & 6 it was a good test.

ProfessorMoody · 15/10/2018 23:00

My DS has a phone because he has hobbies where he's often away from home and it means he can message /call and we have a tracker app. Nothing wrong with that.

When he was 3-4, he'd WhatsApp family on one of my old phones. It did wonders for his spelling and reading.

TwoBlueFish · 15/10/2018 23:01

DS1 (15) has an iPhone 5, iPad, laptop, wiiU and an echo dot. Phone he got at 11, iPad about a year later, laptop at 13 echo dot last year.

DS2 (14) my old iPhone 5s, desktop computer, PS4, echo dot. Similar kind of ages.

I think at 9 or 10 my oldest had an iPod touch, DS2 had a Nintendo DS and they had a Wii between them.

AlphaBites · 15/10/2018 23:09

9yr old, she has a kindle fire that she access to for 45 mins a day but 30mins of that has be maths apps before the entertainment apps come on. She will probably use it 3/4 times a week at a guess. No need for a phone at her age and when she does get one it will be a brick. I don't own an iPhone or anything else worth that amount of money.
We have one desktop PC that is in the living room that we all use, she has asked for a laptop but won't be getting one for a long time.

elQuintoConyo · 16/10/2018 06:48

DS 7yo has nothing. He may use the desktop to watch Tintin on youtube, or DH's phone to whatsapp me when i'm on the bus.

I'm incensed that his summer club introduced him to a website called Friiv when there are a million little games to play, that all seem shite. We had a hideous few months where all he wanted to do is play these games, talk about these games, get back from holiday to play these games

I'm sure if he had some sort of tech that he'd obsess about it and drive us all nuts so we'll be holding off for a while.

He's actually still 6yo, 7 in December. We also don't have anything Apple in the house and DH and i have cheap phones ourselves. Maybe next year when he's 8yo we'll get him something, not sure what. A couple of his friends with older siblings have PS4 or whatever, but the majority have none at all. It's refreshing

QuickWash · 16/10/2018 08:18

I guess OP's issue is more about the lack of respect for your wishes and the competitive parenting edge. Would it be possible for Dad's presents to stay at Dad's house?

We have very little tech at home. My children go to a small village school with limited tech resources but do seem to do quite a lot of stuff on I pads etc. But they also do a lot outside, they have an outdoor classroom and huge field and I'm much keener on those than on the ipads!

We are quite an outdoors family - we have a dog and go out for walks everyday. My children all do several clubs and there is not a huge amount of time that they could be sat on a computer as it is. Mine don't miss what they haven't known.

I absolutely love how little tech my children have, and it's deliberate on our part. I've seen the arguments and stress caused to friends from their children being addicted to games (most of these games are designed to be addictive) and the expense involved is astronomical. I wouldn't dream of spending lots of money on a phone for me so I'm certainly not doing it for my children who can barely keep track of their own shoes!

When the oldest goes to secondary I think a phone is inevitable but I will aiming for a simple, non camera version for the first few years at least.

RiverTam · 16/10/2018 08:57

OhFlip the schools I'm talking about had an ipad per child, so clearly not being used in a targeted way.

Prof so it sounds like used well tech is fantastic but used badly it's pretty damaging. So how does this work in practise to ensure the outcome is the first, not the second? Because it sounds to me that tech shouldn't be introduced into the classroom unless the teacher knows exactly what they are doing.

With regard to Finland, it's not just that they have masters (I don't think I mentioned education level in my post, that's not actually what I meant), it's that they are held in very high regard (a throwback from when they were the guardians of Finnish language and culture under the Russians). Which they are not here.

ProfessorMoody · 16/10/2018 09:44

So how does this work in practise to ensure the outcome is the first, not the second

As it stands, it doesn't. Some teachers use tech incredibly well, some don't use it at all even though in Wales it's supposed to be completely cross-curricular now and held to the same standard as literacy and numeracy and some use it very badly or as lazy teaching.

Yes, teachers are held up there with doctors in Finland which is just laughable here. Here teachers have little respect from children and even less from their parents. It's one of the reasons our education system isn't working.

HairyToity · 16/10/2018 09:46

DD is 5 she has use of a shared telly and shared ipad.

RiverTam · 16/10/2018 09:49

Yes, agreed. Education is up there with health as the most important things we can give your children, but the practitioners are on completely different levels. and presumably always will be as long as successive governments endlessly tweak and fiddle instead of paying teachers the kind of salaries that reflect their importance in our society and attract (and keep) the best and brightest.

RiverTam · 16/10/2018 09:50

having said that, I still don't want tech to form a big part of DD's life. I find the effect of social media appalling on children.

HicDraconis · 16/10/2018 09:59

Both boys (10 & 12) have an iPhone, iPad, basic kindle and desktop computer each. They share a Switch (which they saved up for by themselves) and they have access to DH’s ps4 occasionally. DS1 also has a laptop for school.

They rarely charge their phones, the iPads really only get used for one specific app (RPGScribe) but they are always on their kindles. At weekends we play WoW as a family group, it’s great.

Mamabear12 · 16/10/2018 10:01

My dc each have their own kindle (meant for kids and similar to iPad). They got it age 4 and 5. But they hardly use it. Mainly it’s used when we travel.

ProfessorMoody · 16/10/2018 10:12

Social Media is completely different to other types of tech though. I agree, SM is damaging and vile.

There are plenty of other ways to use tech with children :)

Whalehello2 · 16/10/2018 15:13

15yr old DSS has a Samsung S7
13yr old DSD has an iPhone 5s
1 year old DS has nothing

TV and shared Xbox in lounge
DP and I have a smartphone and laptop each

Doubledeckers · 16/10/2018 15:38

I worry our son doesn’t have any tech of his own. He occasionally asks to play on mine or DP’s iPad or iPhone. I do wonder if he’s being left behind or missing out.

Doubledeckers · 16/10/2018 15:39

He’s 9

DC18 · 16/10/2018 16:12

I totally get where you are coming from and find it a but ridiculous that a 9 year old has such expensive 'toys' I would nip it in the bud now before she gets older.
Speak to your ex and see if you can both a budget for Christmases and birthdays so it doesn't get out of hand.
It sounds as though he is overcompensating with expensive gifts. How often does he see her? I'm sure she would rather days out with him than tech x

Mummaluelae · 16/10/2018 17:01

My DS is 3 yo has TV in bedroom which is only watched when he's sick or if hes finding it hard to sleep I let him fall asleep to it (this is extremely rare though)
He has TV and echo in his play room but they are for background noise really, hell prob watch TV in there what he wants max 3hrs a day.
For his 2nd birthday we got him a vtech innotab he prob uses it max of 3 hours in the time frame of 2weeks.
For his 3rd birthday we bought him amazon fire 10 tablet but he's only allowed to go on it anytime after 5 but has to go off at 8pm (he sleeps at 9pm)
He also got given a little laptop, alba tablet and video recorder (they're quite old) and he doesn't use them.

Givemeallyourcucumber · 16/10/2018 20:15

This is one of those things where it really is each to their own, but fuck me I can't believe how much technology is out there for these children.

We have one TV in the house. Kids watch about 3 hours a week. And we have a tablet and the kids have never touched it.
DH doesn't own a mobile phone and I only have a cheap non smart phone.
I am not a fan of technology.
My kids are great and doing well in school blah blah blah...it's not necessary. But like I said at the beginning, it really is each to their own.

BabySharkDooDooDooDoo · 16/10/2018 20:41

My 3yo uses my phone to play cbeebies if we are out and about at times and he has use of my samsung tablet when at home. Its good for cosying up at bedtime to watch tom and jerry or a film. Apart from that and the telly thats all the tech we have

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