To ask what you once the kids are in bed

[pullupinthekitcheninmyheels]

What time do they go to bed, and what do you do when they are finally in bed and you have a bit of time to yourself?

cannot just leave things for another day because if I come downstairs to a messy/dirty house

But that was kind of my point really. I don’t feel like I’m leaving things for another day, and I don’t come down to a messy and dirty house. It all just gets done as we go along. It probably helps that we don’t tend to keep/hoard much stuff, and we have a playroom for the children’s toys. But I genuinely don’t have that much housework to do in the evenings!

Work. Mine are in bed at 8pm. I work planning lessons or marking until 10pm. I shower then go to bed. Every single fu**ing night.

Toddler DS is in bed 6:30/7. Make myself some tea, eat that, wash the pots and sort my lunch and clothes for work the next day. Usually sorted by 8pm.
Then I bumble about. Don’t do much. Read a book, watch tv.

HOW?!

I probably don't that that high standards, and prioritise time relaxing. Once my daughter is in bed, I may occasionally put the dishwasher on, and I usually quickly toys away, but otherwise rarely do anything practical.

My daughter usually goes to bed at 8-8.15, and I usually go to bed around midnight. I watch TV, play board games, chat, spend time with my husband, and sometimes do a bit of work.

I'm glad only three people mentioned sex as on every other thread it sounds like everyone's at it most evenings

busybarbara, I expect some of are being a bit British about it, and it happens more than its mentioned.

DS is 2 but won't go to bed properly until 9. If we put him down any earlier he grumps until 9. He wakes up by 6 without fail every fecking morning.

So when he goes to bed, I go to bed. DP follows shortly after.

Watch TV
Go on Instagram
Read
Prepare breakfast plates and bottle for the next morning
Put things in the car if I need them the next morning
Mess around on mumsnet

Forget about the housework other than the essentials. Seriously. And then chill out in the evening. You need downtime or you'll go insane.

no time to ourself we are 24 hours carers

both kids dont sleep or sleep very late

the 14 y old dont sleep at all,goes 3-4 day straight and the 8 y old dont go to sleep till 5-6 am every night

both kids have multiple complex needs and need 24 hour care each

me and my oh dont get 1 min alone as the kids are home educated due to needs

the youngest is still in my bed due to severe anxiety at night and a attachment to me, and the 14 y old still needs supervision as hs only just come out of a nervous breakdown and has anxiety

Ds age 6 is in bed by 8, Ds age 3 is in bed by 7.30 (but won’t sleep straight away)

Evenings we watch tv, usually with dd 14 until about 9.30, chat, read or browse internet, sometimes Dh will work. Eat dinner. I go to circuit training on Tuesdays, Dh plays football sometimes. I’d go to bed at 9.30 most nights but Dh prefers to stay up a bit later, usually 10/10.30.

After the dc eat I tidy up the kitchen, sort out uniforms and do reading/spelling etc so that once they are in bed it’s already done.

Usually watch tv that’s not appropriate to watch whilst my dd 6 is wondering . She goes to bed at 8. DS 10 usually goes to bed at 9.

Most of the time dh & I cook and eat our tea and then just watch TV and scroll down our phones.
Every now and again we go upstairs and have some fun in the bedroom.
Sometimes I set up a scene on the dining room table and take and then edit a few photos.
Sometimes I colour in.
I really try to avoid doing any housework other than a quick tidy up.

I always worked my arse off to do all the jobs while the kids were awake (I had 4 kids close together). Refused to do jobs when they were asleep! I either slept or read. Youngest is 7 and oldest 16. A lot easier.

Little ones in bed by 8.30 usually, big ones in bed by 9. I stick my iPod on and blitz as much of the house as I can in 30ish minutes. Then watch a couple of episodes of a box set with dh before bed (currently going through big bang theory).

I am up at 5am to get a jog in before work so I go to bed at 9. Very boring.

I tidied up while the kids were having tea and got them to help before and after. Washing is drying in back room will sort sometime tomorrow. Kids had bath and we're in bed for 6pm, I'm sitting down watching TV and thinking about studying.
Only other thing to do is cook for me and dh at some point and he will put the dishwasher on before bed.

Yoga in the evening if not done first thing

Read or Netflix / BBC series

Eat dinner with children around 5.30pm. Out dishes in dishwasher and wipe kitchen while they watch 20 mins tv. Start putting to bed at 6.30pm. Finish older ones 8.20 on a good day.
Go to bed 10pm.
Tend to fritter the evening away, internet, watching tv or reading. Occasionally go out.

DSs (7&4 years) in bed with lights out by 7.30pm.

Assuming they actually go to sleep quickly, we'll eat dinner (either something I've put on when I got home, or will throw steak on the bbq), general tidy of kitchen, sometimes either DH or I will work, watch a show together, or I'll read or meditate. And shag. But not at the same time.

I'm up every morning at 4.45am to run or workout though, so bedtime for me is around 9.30-10pm.

No wonder my house was a mess. Dd and ds never slept.

I would bath them, read to them for hours to relax them and they would still be awake. Left them in their bedroom one night and the following morning I came into a site.

They had pulled up the thread on the carpet and hooked it over things so it resembled laser security like in Mission Impossible.

So what did I do when the dc went to bed... I went to bed

I really love this thread because I was starting to worry that my evenings were all the same.
We watch TV and eat and then i sneak off to bed when my Husband has fallen asleep and read a book in bed. I do two exercise classes a week in the evening but they are back to back.
Sometimes I feel like there is literally nothing left in me in the evenings and worry that our relationship is functional.

Those few hours are a very short time to squeeze in ‘life’ though aren’t they disabrie? I often think I’d love to go to bed at 9.30 and read, or listen to a hypnosis podcast, or whatever, but then I feel sorry for Dh who’s been at work all day and only got in 2 hours ago, and I stay up. Every few months though I do a week where I go to bed early every night, and by the end I’m like a new woman, so refreshed!

DD goes to bed 7ish but can take a while to settle and often either my partner or I will sit in with her til about 8.

Meanwhile the other adult tidies downstairs, does ironing etc. (We will usually all have tea together at about 5.15 and I do housework in the day during naptime. On the sad day naptime ends, they'll be more chores in the evening...)

So generally we are both free after about 8pm and will watch tv / read / DP will play computer games. I do cardmaking or cross stitch. At weekends we watch movies and drink wine 🍷

I have a 2.5 week old and a 2.5 year old. So at the moment, feed, watch TV, eat and do a few jobs . Before DS2, housework/watching TV/ some nights I went to a dance class or out with friends etc. Hoping to go back to my dance class after xmas when evening feeding is in more of a pattern and I'm properly healed (had quite bad tears giving birth).