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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give up on Parkrun - photo related

225 replies

Parkrunmisery · 14/10/2018 08:59

OK so this is shallow but I did Parkrun yesterday and whilst I love its open and friendly ethos I look BEYOND SHIT in the fb photos they've posted. I'm honestly not being vain, but I am old (50s) and fat. I want to run to get fitter and thinner but having my photo on the Internet looking horrible makes me miserable.

So AIBU to sack off lovely Parkrun due to their insistence on posting photos of me looking utterly shit*.

*old, fat, red faced, baggy, flabby, grey, no make-up and hair looking shit. I really don't want to have to think about getting made up for sodding photos at 8am.

OP posts:
ChicagoLil · 14/10/2018 11:26

This is exactly why I don't like parkrun for myself. I don't want to be photographed looking knackered and I will look even more cross because I know they will photograph me looking cross and slap it on the internet. I also hate the clapping and "good running! Only a bit to go!" aspect as I'll want to shout FUCK OFF back at them which isn't in the spirit of things.

The Posie Parker T shirt is genius. That might inspire me TBH!

Disclaimer: I have friends and rellies who do park run. They love it and it is a worthwhile thing but just not the right exercise for me. Now, outdoor swimming events.... Smile I'm happy to swim in public and I don't care what people think of me in a swimming costume. Weird, isn't it?

Jengnr · 14/10/2018 11:28

I can’t believe you can all find your photos so easily. I can never find ours.

Mind you, once I did I was sorry about it Grin

HuckfromScandal · 14/10/2018 11:30

I hear you.
It’s totally shit when you don’t like your pic being taken.
I’m an RD at parkrun, and my DH takes pics most weeks. Just speak to the run director and the photographer. We are more than happy to take the pics out.
My dh takes them coz most people love them, but we have a couple of foster parents that come, and those pics come out, and a couple who are camera shy, so they come out too.
We don’t always get it right, but we can correct a mistake in minutes if you let us know.

Please please don’t let it put you off parkrun, I would loathe to think that it was.
Pm me if you want any other info.

SurreyMumof4 · 14/10/2018 11:30

On the fake name thing, I do that too for me and the DCs. Never had an issue.

Meet0nTheIedge · 14/10/2018 11:36

Fake name's a good idea, but you shouldn't have to.

SurreyMumof4 · 14/10/2018 11:40

Have you ever been to parkrun? It's clear on every event page that names are posted. And it's in the privacy policy too.

Meet0nTheIedge · 14/10/2018 11:43

No, I haven't, but I've seen all the results for our local one online and that does put me off. It would be fine if it was anonymised.

Original poster
Parkrunmisery · 14/10/2018 11:43

Thanks all, I wasn't really considering the safeguarding issues around public photographs, my concern was/is purely selfish and around my own vanity and inability to face up to growing older.

There are clearly more important issues around photographs being in the public domain, thanks HuckfromScandal - interesting to hear a RD perspective. I might ask for them to be deleted, I'm kind of in two minds - I'd like to develop more of a 'fuck you' attitude, 'this is me get used to it' kind of vibe, but actually hate the thought of these particular awful pics of me being public.

OP posts:
Cauliflowersqueeze · 14/10/2018 11:47

Definitely ask for them to be removed and not to post photos of you again.

itsnotarace · 14/10/2018 11:48

@Parkrunmisery You don't have to give a reason for having your photos deleted.

You may find you change your mind about consenting to photos later on when you become more confident with your running, which is also fine. (Although when you get to that point, it might be nice to have a 'shit photo' to compare to so you can see how far you've come!)

SurreyMumof4 · 14/10/2018 11:50

The very high majority like being able to compare their times to previous runs Meet. It's healthy! There are tshirts celebrating x number of runs too. It gives people goals if they want them.

And there are alternatives for the minority who don't want names posted or times. You can just turn up and run and not be scanned. There are choices!

TigerDrankAllTheWaterInTheTap · 14/10/2018 11:53

I do parkrun. I never look at the pictures unless someone else shows me them. I don't photograph well at the best of times but caught mid-parkrun I look as if I've had my brains removed through my ears with a straw. Face like a tomato. Body like a potato. Hair like fraying grey string. Not great! But so what - I was never a beauty, so haven't lost much with the passage of time. The main thing for me is keeping fit and active. I am no good at running but I run/walk and if anybody had said to me a few years ago I could do that over 5k I'd have laughed in their face. I feel much better for it.

Having said all of that, I'd tell them you'd prefer not have your photo on the website. With only 30 people it wouldn't be a huge effort to spot you in a picture and put it to one side. I feel fairly sure at our parkrun they would be happy to help here (and that's about ten times as big as yours).

jenthelibrarian · 14/10/2018 11:58

Huge sympathy.

I hate having my photo taken. I'm a keen photographer, but generally avoid taking pictures of people, too difficult.
My husband does sport, I sometimes take pics but I always remove anything unflattering of anyone, especially of strangers.
One shocking pic I took at a sailing event I showed to the guy because I was about to delete it and he thought it was hilarious and made me send him a copy and it's now a sailing club joke.

TheRattleBag · 14/10/2018 12:02

Parkrun privacy policy is here:

www.parkrun.com/privacy

And more detailed photo policy here:

support.parkrun.com/hc/en-us/articles/211547249-Photography-and-Video-Policy

Sprogletsmuvva · 14/10/2018 12:05

OP, if it’s any consolation...

Years back, I did a duathlon. Photos duly posted up on the organisers’ site (becausethey wanted to sell them to you- at least with your Parkrun they presumably cost nothing).

Someone on a related forum summed it up: “Does anyone else look like they’re not really running?” Rather than a picture of athleticism, I joked that I was an ambling labrador on the shots, looking chubby. I’m really not vain (to the extent of occasionally being criticised for my lack of interest in my appearance), but it really wasn’t what I had hoped for.

Which wouldn’t have been so bad except that I was 32yo, had a BMI of

Original poster
Parkrunmisery · 14/10/2018 12:10

Interestingly - for me at least - I've just forced myself to re-look at the pics - 138 pics posted of 30ish participants Hmm. Anyway, with a fresh perspective, the pics of me are still sub-optimum but scrutinising others in a way that I hadn't before, it shows that yes, there are some people who look wonderful, some people who look like they're struggling, some who look a bit crap (I'm putting myself in that category). BUT more importantly EVERYONE looks like they're just out running in the morning, in the fresh air and bloody going for it. Which I guess is the point.

I think I need to be less self-obsessed (As if that's going to happen Grin)

OP posts:
SurreyMumof4 · 14/10/2018 12:10

Well done OP 👍👍👍

Sprogletsmuvva · 14/10/2018 12:34

Oh, and another thing for context:

When I was 43 I noticed I was struggling with training for an event. Thanks partly to the general uninterest in patients actually being active I’ve encountered in GPs/NHS (even when I’d regressed to the extent of not being able to do Wk1 of the NHS’s own C25K, it was “meh “)and therefore lack o diagnosis that makes sense, at the age of 45 I now quite often have to rest between flights of stairs.

The ability to run 3 miles in one go while knowing I look shit in photos, is one I can only dream of nowadays.

CalmConfident · 14/10/2018 12:48

Loving your update OP Smile

HuckfromScandal · 14/10/2018 13:29

I love your update.
I hate pics of me, and you’d think given I sleep with the flipping photographer - he’d only put up the flattering ones.....Hahahaha.

But I wouldn’t give up my parkrun obsession for it 😊😊.

Turquoise123 · 15/10/2018 17:42

Try hard to ignore the photos but have to say if I were being photographed in the gym for my grid classes NO WAY would i go so totally get where you are at .

Scientistic · 15/10/2018 17:50

Ours do this and frequently post photos of kids. At no point when I signed up did it say we will post photos of your kids on public Facebook pages. It really annoys me. I think as adults it's not great but I understand they are promoting the event (which is ace) but kids... nope...

lau888 · 15/10/2018 18:07

Honestly, everyone looks terrible in parkrun photos. Asides from a few people who are photogenically blessed, have an internal "camera alarm", and manage to casually jog past the photographer with perfect smiles. Keeping running and/or volunteering. It's worth it. :)

Sirzy · 15/10/2018 18:12

One of the parkruns I do posts the photos with a “don’t forget if you don’t like you picture and want us to remove it just let us know” type message which I like.

MiniMum97 · 15/10/2018 18:23

I wouldn’t go if that meant pics of me posted on the internet looking awful. I hate pics of me and only a few are allowed to be posted anywhere. (I am NOT photogenic and have also put on 2 stone in recent years due to a chronic health condition). So I know how you feel. It would make me feel terrible and would be completely unmotivating. Just run in your own. You don’t need to use park run. Apps like couch to 5k are very motivating. I used to run and love running alone with music and my thoughts. Much better than in a big crowd!