To just want a bra that fits

[Thenewdoctor]

Aibu?

I just want a bra that fits and every bra I buy seems fine but by half a day in the wires are digging into my armpits.

I’ve been oroperly measured in an independent shop and in bravissimo so I know the size is right.

If it’s nit the size is it the style? And what style should I look for?

I’m desperate just to be comfortable.

I do the swoop and scoop.

Have you tried a half wired cup bra?

It isn’t that the bras are digging in to the boob tissue it’s that digging in to my armpits after half a days wear. By lunchtime I’m in agony.

I DO swoop and scoop and I’ve been measured in 2 independent shops and a bravissimo and they all say the same size.

I will try the boob and bust calculator 🙂 I know i sounds grumpy but I’ve tried literally loads of bras and I’ve done what you’re supposed to do and gone and got measured and I still can’t get a bra that fits.

It’s as if I’m too small from band to armpit and the wires are too long.

I usually prefer a wired bra, but I'm BFing at the moment and have this bra from bravissimo. It's surprisingly supportive and available in your size. Obviously you don't need the clips but I don't think they'd get in your way.

Ah I see. So you need shorter underwires. Have you told the fitter in Bravissimo when you get fitted? They will know the best styles for your shape and will be able to advise why that happens. They might also have some good non-underwired bras you could try.

Bravissimo don't measure btw, so if you're actually being measured in Bravissimo go to a different one.

Debenhams do excellent non underwired bras for larger chested women. I am a manual wheelchair users and underwires literally cut and graze me under the arms after a while because of the way I have to move to propel myself

I’m just fed up. If men had tits there would be a bra type garment that you just put on and it fitted.

I'm sorry you're uncomfortable but this isn't necessarily true. The reason it's hard to find the right bras is that every woman is a slightly different shape in every aspect of the bra - different proportions between literally every bit - and thats just not possible to design for. You have to keep trying different styles until you find one that's right. I know there is one bra in Bravissimo that fits me perfectly. I can only wear plunge bras - balcony digs in my sternum no matter which one it is. Full cup don't sit right across the top of my boob as I have ski slope type boobs.

Also, get on boob or bust page on FB and pose the question there, especially mentioning the shorter underwrite styles, someone there will be able to help. The admins have a wealth of knowledge. Plus you can also do fit checks (take pics in the bra and post on the page) and they will help identify the problem and the best solutions

I’m not sure about finding one that fits but when (if?) you have found a style that works maybe see if you can order it on amazon or Brastop.com . Amazon has an amazing range of bras much cheaper than in the shops, as is brastop which offers free delivery and returns. Good luck.
If you do try Rigby and Pellar would you report back? I’m so tempted but slightly horrified by the price.

I have the armpit stabbing issue with Panache but not with Fantasies or Freya. Have you tried them?

There are some amazing women on MN who know all the different bras and would be able to point you in the right direction - if you post in S&B they’re more likely to see it, I think.

It’s as if I’m too small from band to armpit and the wires are too long.

Maybe you haven't yet found the brand you need. I saved for ages to go to R&PP* (in the 80s) as i assumed i would have to get something custom made. About the second bra they tried on me was perfect. Bliss

There was an article by June Kenton (big name in R&P) wishing than any one wanting breast reduction surgery come to her for a fitting before even thinking of surgery which convinced me to try them.

Now, I go back for a fitting only when i have lost or gained significant amounts of weight, which changes my bra size significantly. Have been wearing the same bran, pretty much the same model ever since. When i put on , a previously comfortable bra becomes uncomfortable. When i notice that the fist thing i want to go when i get home, is to take off my bra, its a sign that my eating is out of control. The lovely R&P ladies never refer to any reason, just find the perfect bra for the body they see, and no beastly tape measures.

I also recommend Brastop, I always get my bras from there. A really good range of sizes, even in the sale.

And you can send back the ones that don’t fit for a swap and the customer service is excellent.

I bought one of these and then stopped wearing anything else.
www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/product/women-wireless-bra-extra-soft-408811.html

However I am only a c cup.

Maybe I should just head to r&p. And suck up the cost.

I hear you!!! 34j here.

Problem with me (and you it sounds like) is my boobs start really far back. For some the wire sits more on the front.

I also then get the straps sliding.

New bras always take breaking in for me.

And yes. I am in the right size. I put them on properly etc etc.

I have had more success with an
Underwired sports bra from bravissimo. I went again recently and explained the problem.

Omg the shoulder straps that slide down no matter how tight they are.

Hate that.

Also (moan) I live mostly alone. Dd here when home from uni. Have you tried to adjust a bra on your own?

One thing that has really stood out at me here OP is that you say you're a size 14 but a 36J. Those numbers don't correlate. You've been sized incorrectly. Look up Boob or Bust and get your tape measure out. I think you will probably find you're a different size.

Bras in theory should all be the same sizes across each make, but its not true. You need to try each individual make of bra until you find the one that fits best and it might well be a different size from what you measure. The best shops fit you for a bra, not just measure you. Once you find that one, then stick with it. I live in M&S t-shirt bras, because they suit me. The almost identical one from Debenhams doesn't fit at all.

How could three different shops have sizes me incorrectly? I don’t understand why lingerie shops (including one that is VERY well regarded) plus bravissimo could ALL get the same size over a period of years, and all get it wrong?

The problem is. The fit and are comfortable in the shop. It’s 2/3/4 hours later they turn into torture devices.

You sound like me - big breasts on a small frame. I have trouble with straps falling down and wires digging under armpits because my shoulders/rib cage are quite narrow. I’m a 32k and I have had most success with the Jasmine bra by panache www.bravissimo.com/products/jasmine-bra-pink-multi-pn103pkm/

I also second losing weight - not saying you are fat or overweight at all but I always find it easier if I go down a couple of cup sizes - there’s just less being supported but the bra. Or skip the bra expense and remortgage your home for a breast reduction instead?! (I am seriously considering this as they make me really fed up sometimes.)

I’m really curvy is that helps. Wide hips. Small belly but really an hourglass shape.

High waisted hourglass.