to ask if you can afford a 'private' school in the UK but have chosen to send your child/children to a state school why?

[Foreverexhausted]

My three year old DD has just started a nursery attached to a fee paying school. I chose the nursery because it is by far the best nursery in the area but unfortunately we can't afford to send her to the school itself as fees are £15k per year per child and we have two children.

We have friends who could afford private schooling but their children are in state schools and then others who can't afford it but are just scraping by because they like the status of children attending a private school.

^^ it does. I am just baffled as to why you would deliberately choose to NOT to advance your child if you could. Even if that was through money.

We could have afforded it but disagree with private education for many reasons. Also I was lucky.
Our children are bright and motivated and got results at a comp which couldn't have been bettered privately. (11As at GCSE and 3 and 4 A* stars at A level. We didn't know that at the beginning. But we always had confidence in their abilities.
Their comp was bog standard but they weren't. And their results along with those of some of their bright contemporaries helped bolster the school's results. This is a good thing for the school and the community. They went on to stellar unis and are really proud that their achievements are their own
And we've saved money hooray!

We state educated because we felt that they would not have benefited from being the poorest kids in the school and having a mother who was always at work - I have always been able to take and collect from school (I work part time, wouldn't have been possible with fees) and our house is close to being paid off. The elder is autistic so I'm not sure if they would have coped with her - she had lots of support at state school, plus Ed psych support. Younger is private for sixth form, it's very different, but I'm still happy with our decision

I got 7 A*s and 3 As in my GCSEs, As at A Level, and went to a top uni- all from state school. I also enjoyed school. So why would I ever send my children to private school? In my experience it’s unnecessary.

They went on to stellar unis and are really proud that their achievements are their own

That’s an odd statement. Whose are the achievements of people who went to private school?

Because I believe it's up to him to work hard and make his own opportunities, not have them handed to him on a plate by participating in a system which is designed ultimately to advance individuals who are part of the same "special club". It damages our whole society and I can't be part of that.

To add to my comment above, an ex boyfriend who went to a top private school told me he thought I had had better teaching at state school, from the stories we both shared. However, he did say the extracurricular opportunities and trips etc had been better at private school. I agreed with him- the teaching is unlikely to be better, as you get good and not so good teachers everywhere. The facilities and opportunities MAY be better depending on the school. I personally would not pay thousands a year just for facilities and would rather save that money to give to my children when they are adults.

Sent my son to state school because
a) I don’t like the idea of the rich buying their children privilage
b) he is very bright and would thrive in whatever type of school he went to
c) the local school is as good as the local privare schools

Not that odd. My DC relate stories from friends at uni who went to private schools who actually say they had a huge leg up because their parents paid. Some are in slight awe of high achieving state students. Just personal experience

My DC relate stories from friends at uni who went to private schools who actually say they had a huge leg up because their parents paid. Some are in slight awe of high achieving state students

Not sure how you mean a “huge leg up”. Are you saying the teaching was better? Or that offers for uni came because of the school they attended?

Smaller class sizes must help?

Well both really. Smaller class sizes and less fire-fighting in terms of behaviour and trying to get pupils past the most basic levels mean that better grades are more of a certainty at a fee paying institution.the preparation for applications to the 'top' unis is also far better if you pay. In fact the preparation at non selective stage schools is zilch in our experience.
I mean, why do people pay if it's not to give their kids a better chance? We just didn't agree with that. And had a lot of confidence in our children's abilities. They come from a naice middle class house hold and didn't need yet another advantage.

THere is no link between small class sizes and academic outcomes

social outcomes, maybe, but not academic ones

Smaller class sizes and less fire-fighting in terms of behaviour and trying to get pupils past the most basic levels mean that better grades are more of a certainty at a fee paying institution

Of course assuming the school is academically selective?

I've had this quoted at me before but, as is often the case, statistics can be manipulated to show anything and rarely show the full story.

THere is no link between small class sizes and academic outcomes - why don’t we get bigger classes then? Social outcomes are meaningless are they?

We could afford it but DS will be going to a state school when the time comes. In the (quite small) village we live in there is a very lovely little primary school that's been rated outstanding by ofsted.

The class sizes are pretty small, between 10-20 in each year. The teachers just seem bloody lovely. They have a lovely big field as well as a playground, that has a nature area in it. The walls are covered in the children's art, and in summer I always see the kids having their lessons outside when the weather is nice! The headteacher is a friend of my DM's and she's genuinely the most caring, lovely woman and I know she cared about every single one of the pupils. She knows them all by name. It's just a really lovely school.

The private school that could be an option for DS has slightly bigger class sizes, and it just doesn't have that friendly feel to it. When I looked around it it just seemed so 'clinical' that I just couldn't bare thinking of my little DS there! I

I just feel so much more confident and happy with the thought of him going to the little village school, that I could walk him to everyday.

Absolutely not worth the money for us, we bought a house in the catchment of excellent state schools, both primary and secondary, we paid more for the house, sure, but the kids are going to inherit it, so they get the money back!

Private schools do not provide a better education overall (clearly some private schools will be better than some state), when you control for parental background there is no difference. In fact, state school pupils who make it to Uni do a little better than privately educated one (my guess is because they are more independent learners).

I don't fool myself though that our choice is anymore "egalitarian" we are privileged to be able to buy here. We are buying privilege for our kids in a different way, but we still are using our money to give them an advantage. I really wish all schools were funded properly, and in fact, that schools in deprived areas were funded better than affluent areas! And private schools should really have no need to exist!

That sounds perfect Lexi, what all parents would want if they had the option.

Because the 2 local privates don't have any better results than my local high schools. If the local schools were poorer then we'd consider private

Schools in poor areas are funded better, pupil premium ensures this.

Most villages schools (in naice areas) are very underfunded. They only get decent results because of the parent factors.

Possibly v outing, but we didn’t go because mum and dad didn’t want us getting picked on for living in the Scruffiest house.
(The house was a 6 bed Victorian townhouse but dad was constantly indulging in really bad DIY, and reclamation projects, so it was always a right state!)

@missperegrinespeculiar keeping fingers crossed you get. in these schools. around here many years are basically siblings only (parents have moved away after first child got in). We have 6 primary schools we are theoretically in catchment. didn’t get in any of them. so private it is

I have really mixed feelings.

My elder child is at a local outstanding secondary. I’m happy with her progress, she’s in all the top sets and just thriving. She would have benefitted from the extra curricular stuff at a private school, but she does plenty anyway (music lessons, swimming, drama) and we pay for those. She’s quite shy and she benefits from us living close to school and having friends back here after school - wouldn’t be the same if she took a bus to school 20 miles away.

My younger child I feel would benefit more from smaller class sizes and is socially very confident, so going to school on a bus wouldn’t be an issue for her. However, she strongly doesn’t want to go to private school and gets very upset when we mention it.

We could afford it for one, not two. They are 4 years apart anyway. I had no issue with the local primary school, and I have no problem with the high school because it gets great results. I think my younger child may get better results in the private sector.

Having said this, I have a friend who was a teacher in a state school and they were monitoring her performance. They finished her contract and went to a private school where there were similar issues with her ability to do the job. She’s now in a second private school. We have other friends with children in the private sector who mentioned that their son had been offered cocaine routinely at house parties (he was probably 15 when they told me this) because the children came from backgrounds where there was a lot of money to buy it. I’m sure that’s not the norm at all, but it surprised me.

I think if you have the choice, it’s worth weighing up options for private school, but I don’t think it’s right for every child. I’m sorry really that my younger child is so dead set against it because I personally think it’s worth looking at, but I don’t want to make her unhappy or feed into a sense that she’s not as clever as her big sister and therefore needs more help. She’s just as clever, she just finds it hard to concentrate.

"Schools in poor areas are funded better, pupil premium ensures this.

Most villages schools (in naice areas) are very underfunded. They only get decent results because of the parent factors."

Blimey. Not sure where to start with this analysis. Misunderstanding on so many levels.