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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if you can afford a 'private' school in the UK but have chosen to send your child/children to a state school why?

999 replies

Foreverexhausted · 13/10/2018 15:11

My three year old DD has just started a nursery attached to a fee paying school. I chose the nursery because it is by far the best nursery in the area but unfortunately we can't afford to send her to the school itself as fees are £15k per year per child and we have two children.

We have friends who could afford private schooling but their children are in state schools and then others who can't afford it but are just scraping by because they like the status of children attending a private school.

OP posts:
cantkeepawayforever · 18/10/2018 00:06

Tbh, I would be in favour of a 'state grammar school places only for state primary school pupils' rule, if we have to have grammars at all. And don't get me started on private tutoring.

It would be simpler to abolish grammars than to make admission to them fair and accurate, to be honest.

Eminado · 18/10/2018 00:07

It really depends on the schools - and if you get in. we have 6 primary schools less than 1 mile away and didn’t get in any of them.

Cannot agree with this more.

JacquesHammer · 18/10/2018 00:16

Tbh, I would be in favour of a 'state grammar school places only for state primary school pupils' rule, if we have to have grammars at all

Fantastic. So we don’t get any of our choices at primary level (which were our absolute closest 5 in order) due to the allocation system, and we then can’t get our choice at secondary too?

Did you get allocated your preferred school place?

Noqont · 18/10/2018 00:54

Aren’t parents who buy tutors specifically for the 11+ buying an advantage over families that can’t afford that?

Indeed they are. Alongside those who live in, or move to better areas to get their children into better schools.

longestlurkerever · 18/10/2018 01:14

I object to people saying that having a principled position in favour of state education and living by it is in some way letting down one's own DC. Aren't our dc going to live in the world we are creating for them? Who wants to be the best educated person in s country where education is poor? I don't really follow the logic that having no moral stance is somehow more moral

AngelsOnHigh · 18/10/2018 01:27

They all end up at the same Universities and at the end of the day, I believe it comes down to the home environment.

I was privately education, as were my DC.

I was a bit horrified when my DD enrolled her DC in the state system, after home schooling them for several years.

They are all doing extremely well.

We have a large family with children going to independent private schools, catholic private schools, home schooled, state schools, but when they are all together at family functions it is impossible to pick which education system they are in.

MyOtherProfile · 18/10/2018 05:44

They all end up at the same Universities and at the end of the day,

Isn't there still an issue with Oxbridge taking far more privately educated students proportionately?

MyOtherProfile · 18/10/2018 05:47

Yes, 40 to 45% private school kids, which isnt at all representstive of national figures privately educated.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/education-38842482

BertrandRussell · 18/10/2018 06:34

It's impossible to make entry to grammar schools fair either. They should go too........

SippingSipsmith · 18/10/2018 06:41

We looked but have a local primary school which is outstanding. The school my DC go to is the one I went to and a faith school. I like that I went to a church school, I think it's a nice moral background for little ones. We decided we would use the money for nice things like holidays instead. However I do feel embarrassed by our wealth with other school parents and find myself being very private about stuff as it makes me feel uncomfortable.

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 18/10/2018 06:45

We could, and don't, send our children to independent school. DH and I met at Oxford, and I was shocked by some of the attitudes held by lots of the students who had been privately educated. The state school students had a healthier work ethic, on the whole. Every girl I made friends with that had been privately educated apart from two had experienced some form of eating disorder during secondary school.

I felt that state school was better for a more rounded life experience.

DDs best friend goes to private school, and is absolutely thriving. However, she would have thrived anywhere.

tenorladybeaker · 18/10/2018 06:54

Oxford and Cambridge between them have an undergraduate intake of about 6,700 per year.

I couldn't find a breakdown of where the highest-achieving 18 year old are educated so trying to derive it from available data:

About 230,000 people take A-levels at the end of their age-18 year of school. So the oxbridge intake is 2%.

It's true that only around 7% of pupils overall are privately educated but almost all of those take A-Levels and of those, about 50% get A-grade results. Meanwhile overall about 18% get A-Grade results, but that's from a much reduced cohort as overall only about 33% of 18 year old even take A-levels so private school pupils must already make up about 20% of the A-level-taking cohort. Though the stats of 50% private school pupils getting A grades and 18% overall getting A grades are from different sources so I don't know if the methodology and definitions are the same, putting those together would mean that about half of the pupils that get top grades at A-level are from private schools.

Given that many private schools are extremely academically selective and offer scholarships/bursaries to support bright pupils who can't afford the fees, a figure of 45% private school pupils in oxbridge doesn't sound disproportionate to me. It would mean that on a national scale, that 7% who get educated privately somehow manages to identify and give places (hopefully with financial support) to half of the most able 2% in each cohort.

I know these calculations are a bit rough and ready. It's before 7am and I'm a bit limited in what I can research on my phone, but I don't think these figures show a bias in oxbridge admissions.

UpOnTheDowns · 18/10/2018 06:56

Yes, 40 to 45% private school kids, which isnt at all representstive of national figures privately educated.

But it is representative of the proportion of top grades won by private school pupils. They are "over represented" at Oxbridge only in relation to their numbers, not their achieved results!

UpOnTheDowns · 18/10/2018 07:02

tenorladybeaker

about half of the pupils that get top grades at A-level are from private schools.

Exactly. Thanks for helping to debunk the silly idea that Oxbridge must be 93% state-educated to be "fair". Maybe one day, when that 93% gets 93% of the top grades!

TheVeryHungryDieter · 18/10/2018 07:04

We could afford private reasonably easily. DS goes to state primary, which is further away than the private prep which is our nearest school.

But the state schools here are great. The one he's in is amazing. I went to a state school and an average uni, am now a lawyer with a good job and don't feel it's held me back.

DH went to a private secondary school and he said the quality of teaching was the same as you'd get anywhere, there are star teachers in even the worst schools and poor performers in the top ones, but the difference was in the facilities. However we moved near to a big secondary which has excellent facilities and the walls are lined with trophies and displays from school trips etc; we know this as we're in there doing kids' activities every weekend!

We are paying more for the house to live here because the schools are so good. I'd rather do that than live somewhere cheaper and pay tons in school fees. If even one of the schools we've chosen holds its reputation we will get that money back in a few years.

Everincreasingfrequency · 18/10/2018 07:08

"about half of the pupils that get top grades at A-level are from private schools."

do oxbridge make any contextual offers?

JenFromTheGlen · 18/10/2018 07:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JacquesHammer · 18/10/2018 07:24

It's impossible to make entry to grammar schools fair either. They should go too........

How old are your children Bert?

yolofish · 18/10/2018 07:33

I believe those intangibles are real. It is obvious on a school trip whether the children are from a state or private school from the behaviour of the children alone. The expectations are different and drilled in from a young age across the board.

And here's the REAL reason....

(having put two through shock horror secondary modern in a grammar area I can really really assure everyone that the above is absolutely not true)

Lethaldrizzle · 18/10/2018 07:38

I agree the grammar school system is also skewed

Bi11yButton · 18/10/2018 07:41

Re private school pupils allegedly all getting better grades which thus makes their Oxbridge over representation fair. Being taught in teeny tiny groups with the best of everything including additional tutoring surely makes snatching an a that much easier. An a from both sectors are not the same. One has been obtained on a dwindling budget in massive classes with teacher shortages. This is the same whether it be from top comps,middling comps and grammars all of which are under reprented.Surely that should be recognised in admissions now.

Re banning grammars. I had no idea what big business tutoring for GCSEs and Alevels is. A Russel group degree can be life changing. As admissions is clearly so unfair should such unis be banned?

The difference between tutoring and private school/ the best comp places is one is attainable,the other two seriously aren't if you have to find fees comparable to a wage or a 500k house.

Personally I applaud the private school VAT idea that was suggested could be brought in earlier this week. The more middle class parents bumped out of the private sector the higher the demands will be for fairness in uni admissions.

BertrandRussell · 18/10/2018 07:42

"It is obvious on a school trip whether the children are from a state or private school from the behaviour of the children alone."
Oh look. Another of those snide anti state school/state school children comments that never happen.......

Schnickers · 18/10/2018 07:44

One has been obtained on a dwindling budget in massive classes with teacher shortages

Hold on, I thought comps were all leafy and outstanding on mumsnet?

Schnickers · 18/10/2018 07:45

If the comp is really that bad - that's what contextual offers are for!

Schoolirons · 18/10/2018 07:46

Mine has been in both private and state. Honestly the state secondary they are now at has better facilities and smaller classes than our local private school.
The private school do get better results but they are also selective and cream the top achievers from the state schools.