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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if you can afford a 'private' school in the UK but have chosen to send your child/children to a state school why?

999 replies

Foreverexhausted · 13/10/2018 15:11

My three year old DD has just started a nursery attached to a fee paying school. I chose the nursery because it is by far the best nursery in the area but unfortunately we can't afford to send her to the school itself as fees are £15k per year per child and we have two children.

We have friends who could afford private schooling but their children are in state schools and then others who can't afford it but are just scraping by because they like the status of children attending a private school.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 17/10/2018 13:40

“Well you won't get that by challenging everyone's experiences of private education tbf”

I don’t think I have!

BertrandRussell · 17/10/2018 13:43

Just checked back. No I haven’t.

famousfour · 17/10/2018 13:44

It’s a funny old system in the UK. Is there an equivalent anywhere else I wonder.

Shitlandpony · 17/10/2018 13:48

BertrandRussell

this thread alone has more negative statements about state schools than about private schools!

No it doesn’t, you are the most blinkered poster I have ever come across on mumsnet with regards to private schools. You have no direct experience of it, nor do your children, yet you are on every.single.thread about it.

I am not going to continue arguing with you because I learnt years ago that your persistence drives people off the thread.

This thread has some dreadful things said about private school children, lots compared to a couple of state school assumptions.
Now I have dc in both sectors, more in the state, I have no particular flag to wave.

BertrandRussell · 17/10/2018 13:48

Most countries have fee paying and state schools. They also have class systems- just not always as overt as in the UK. And a lot of this is about the class system.

Shitlandpony · 17/10/2018 13:50

First page Grin

sectors, but on average the state school parents we know are more fun and less social climby

Ennirem · 17/10/2018 13:50

Competition for places, Jacques Hammer

JacquesHammer · 17/10/2018 13:51

Competition for places, Jacques Hammer

Ah. Then no. The only competition we had was for state places.

DD’s school wasn’t selective.

Ennirem · 17/10/2018 13:54

Well that's my point though. If everyone who could afford it (by hook or by crook) tried to get their kids into the private instead of the state, there would be more competition for the private, wouldn't there?

Ennirem · 17/10/2018 13:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

JacquesHammer · 17/10/2018 13:56

Well that's my point though. If everyone who could afford it (by hook or by crook) tried to get their kids into the private instead of the state, there would be more competition for the private, wouldn't there?

Interestingly, a secondary near us had to be selective on academic achievement for the first time this year.

It was nowhere near the competition for the state Grammar. 650 for 100 places

BertrandRussell · 17/10/2018 13:57

There isn’t any competition for most private schools- only for the real high flyers.

Oblomov18 · 17/10/2018 14:02

All the schools round here are either very good or outstanding. There isn't a bad primary or secondary anywhere near.
Both ds's are bright. Parents are interested and care.
I've yet to meet a parent who didn't care.
So I can't see the benefit.
But no, we probably couldn't afford it anyway.

blueshoes · 17/10/2018 14:11

Private school parents are doing state school parents a favour by freeing up more tax payer funds and coveted places in the grammars and excellent state schools that many on this thread seem miraculously to live near, for their dcs. Imagine if 7% of the private school children de-camped to the state system.

Be careful what you wish for.

Tinkobell · 17/10/2018 14:14

These threads always arouse such repressed anger at the fact that there's a wealth divide in the uk. Apparently airlines have to deal with more rows on planes to do with classes (econ, business, 1st) than any other matter; I just think this is British society at its worst.
For me, if you can afford private school then the question is really "am I going to make a decision which benefits my child and the growth of a better society?" I.e choose state OR "Am I going to purely do what's best for my child?" I.e consider all options, whatever they are - state or private. I'm sorry to say I don't think there are too many people who are ONLY civically and not selfishly minded in this matter and choose the state sector purely because they want to nurture and support the development and future of state education as a whole; it has to be a win:win at the very least - good for my kid, good for nurturing state schools.

JacquesHammer · 17/10/2018 14:14

There isn’t any competition for most private schools- only for the real high flyers

Surely waiting lists would suggest otherwise

Schnickers · 17/10/2018 14:15

Two independent schools near us have now introduced selection. They are both totally full in Yr 9

BertrandRussell · 17/10/2018 14:17

"There isn’t any competition for most private schools- only for the real high flyers"
Sorry-typo. That should read many, not most.

Tinkobell · 17/10/2018 14:17

@blueshoes.....I agree. There would actually be no available places for the private kids; unless state schools miraculously expand overnight or private schools allow free entry.....?

AnneWiddecombesHandbag · 17/10/2018 14:21

We can afford private but I don't agree with it so we don't our kids there.

BertrandRussell · 17/10/2018 14:22

Obviously the instant abolition of private education is merely a pipe dream. Grin. Even phased winding down is not really a realistic possibility. Neither is removal of charitable status. Which is why, as an interim measure, VAT on school fees is a sensible option. [dons tin hat and retreats to trench]

JacquesHammer · 17/10/2018 14:23

Neither is removal of charitable status

Which not all have

Which is why, as an interim measure, VAT on school fees is a sensible option

Ok. So that prices out some parents. Where do the kids go?

Tinkobell · 17/10/2018 14:25

Hypothetically, you could kill off the private sector. That's what labour are keen on with a proposed VAT on fees. It does employ a lot of average waged people: cleaners, ground staff, admin, teaching staff, builders, cooks etc....,.can they all quickly pick up jobs in the state sector? Maybe so. But I think it would be a quick death with no time for redeployment of staff. 20% on fees would be the nail in the coffin for a lot of parents who make big personal sacrifice to fund fees money each term. Not everyone who goes there is made in Chelsea utterly loaded.

AlexanderHamilton · 17/10/2018 14:34

VAT would also hit those of us whose children go to specialist vocational schools on government grants.

Tinkobell · 17/10/2018 14:37

@Bertrand ...I really don't understand what your bug bear is about offering people choice? Do you object to the principle that money unfortunately does, buy choice? If so, this exists in all facets of life - health, housing, food, holidays etc. People who've got money will always actively seek choice far and wide - you can't stop people doing that unless your seeking a controlling state that fixes wages and has a big hand in everything. Most people would love an amazing state schooling sector that's paid for from taxes alone, but they've got to raise their game more broadly not just stamp on the competitor.