FIL telling me to 'get dressed'

[Whatdoyouknow2]

FIL just called (10:50) I was in pj's still, been busy cleaning/ironing/seeing to 4 month old. Waiting for DH coming home at lunch time then going to get a shower and get dressed.
FIL tells me 'get dressed love' as though it's not right to be in pj's at this time. AIBU to be annoyed. I explained the above to him but then annoyed at myself for explaining, why should I have to?

It must be a cultural, UK thing, i.e. wearing pjs at home

Funnily enough BloodyDisgrace, I live abroad in Europe and my foreign DH and I are always in our PJs at home. His family also did the same when he lived with them. On the other hand, when I visit my parents in the UK they look at us in disgust when we wear our PJs during the day despite them being the equivalent of cotton tracksuit bottoms and T-shirt! I don't think they'd be happy unless we put on proper street clothes, i.e jeans and jumpers

at wotsit fanny on a timer.

Its a weird, weird thing that certain of the tubes of fabric we like to push ourselves into are meant for daylight, and others for dark hours. No! Don't wear that garment now! It is light outside and bad will occur. Instead, wear this other, more uncomfortable garment, even though you aren't leaving the house. This blue t shirt is fine, for it has a dog on it. This one? No! It has a bear with a hat on, therefore is only for night. Even though the fabric and cut is the same, still we must wear the correct motif.

@ciderhouserules

I was exaggerating for comic effect. Clearly my fanny wouldn't actually smell like a Wotsits factory if I didn't shower one morning.

there is something wrong with you then! I often shower every other day, or in the evening if I've showered in the morning the day before. And i have a Public-facing job and i most certainly don't smell

I would, though, feel completely manky is I showered every other day. Bleurgh.

Wearing PJs for the school-run, to the office on dress-down Fridays or to do a weekly shop at Tesco: completely normal.

But in your OWN home with your baby? YABVVVVU

Some of these responses have had me in stitches. Thanks for brightening my mood. You'll be pleased to know I'm now dressed and on the way to the pub for lunch

@GoldilocksAndTheThreePears

Its a weird, weird thing that certain of the tubes of fabric we like to push ourselves into are meant for daylight, and others for dark hours. No! Don't wear that garment now! It is light outside and bad will occur. Instead, wear this other, more uncomfortable garment, even though you aren't leaving the house. This blue t shirt is fine, for it has a dog on it. This one? No! It has a bear with a hat on, therefore is only for night. Even though the fabric and cut is the same, still we must wear the correct motif.

It's really not that complicated. I'd just rather not wear the clothes (bear motif or not) that I've been farting and sweating in all night long during the day.

This thread is making me feel itchy.

You'll be pleased to know I'm now dressed

In a lovely clean, freshly-laundered pair of 'Day PJs', I do hope

My MIL would say something like this. She once came round when I was recovering from an operation. I was wearing a loose jersey dress because it was more comfortable after the op. I opened the door to her and the first things she said was “oh, are you still in your nightie?”. I was so cross because a) I wasn’t and b) if you’re ill you can wear what you like in your own house! She did the same to my DS the other day, asked him if he was in his pyjamas when he was clearly wearing a t- shirt and trackie bottoms. She’s not exactly the height of sartorial elegance herself!

Crikey you are an excretory bunch. I don’t wake up a cesspit of vile smells, or with waste-strewn night clothes.

Can you follow up, op, with a text to fil saying that you are so sorry he was offended - and that next time, if he calls ahead, you Cana inform him of your state of dress so he can make a risk assessment for himself with regard to a proposed visitation.

This has been done to death on other threads. If you sleep for 8 hours and you perspire a litre onto those pjs, you are gonna whiff a bit.

I'm a smoker. I believe people when they say I stink even though I can't smell it myself.

You will whiff a bit first thing in the morning, some people more than others.

It's not about pjs. It's about showering. I wouldn't accept a cup of tea off you op because i'd be wondering if you've even washed your hands.

"Get dressed, love"

WTAF??

Who does he think he is?

I mean unless they were see through, there's not really any difference between pjs & say jeggings & a top.

OK, pjs are "nightwear", but as a rule you're pretty covered up in them!

MrsHarrison You are a wag. Ffs

Why do we call them 'a PAIR of pyjamas', anyway? Surely, without the top half, you still have a pair of pyjama trousers, so how come said trousers get demoted, presumably to 'a single trousers' when their arrogant jacket mate turns up and insists on taking a 50/50 share to form a new 'complete' pair?

I'm off to the OED to complain bitterly and demand that they be internationally re-recognised (with severe punishments for any old dinosaurs who refuse to toe the line) as 'a TRIO of pyjamas' - or possibly, if a very formal set (such as PJ bridal-wear) with a double-breasted jacket, 'a QUARTET of pyjamas'

But I do think your FIL was rude.
And I've had a bath, prompted by this thread.

Your Fil sounds very similar to mine and I would have given him the exact same response you did! YANBU!

Isn't this just a funny comment from someone close? Maybe?

Although I am still in PJs but was working till gone 5am so swings and roundabouts. :)

Don't answer the door next time.

You can wear what you want and stink as much as you like while looking after a baby in your own house.

People don't like it don't have to turn up unannounced. They can ask if they can come, or maybe you could leave it to his son to organise when he sees your kids.

(I know you're not really that bothered now and I can see that you know how to stick up for yourself but seriously don't put up with ANY crap in your own home - it's YOUR space)

Stick to your guns! He was out of order to comment but he's probably old school. I remember my mum saying to me, "Aren't you going to get dressed today?", she and my in laws were always dressed in the morning. I used to get myself bathed and dressed to go to work but when I had a day off, I did it when I felt like it and they could lump it!

Here we are at a quarter past one and I'm having lunch in front of the telly in my pyjamas. Sheer bliss.

Having read some other posts, a lot of people shower and put on clean pyjamas to wear around the house.

The op said her father in law came around in the morning, she was doing a bit of housework. No point in having a shower until that was done.

I think her FIL meant she should not be in 'night attire' during the day, not that she hadn't bathed. However it's not his business!

There's a lot to be said for not giving parents a key and for suggesting they ring before coming round.

I never get dressed out of PJs unless I have to

“I'm the opposite. Don't understand pjs when you're up. It must be a cultural, UK thing, i.e. wearing pjs at home. I prefer normal clothes (because I'd feel like I'm too ill/depressed to get dressed if I wore PJs all day), but that's just me.”

I think it’s more an age/generation thing. I am nearly 60 and the only time I would stay in nightwear through the day is if I am in hospital or very ill. Like you, I feel unmotivated and like the day hasn’t started if I don’t get dressed. I don’t wear pyjamas in bed as I get too warm. I don’t know anyone my age who stays in pyjamas all day. I just wear comfy clothes.

Cheeky sod. Who does he think he is?!

It's nothing to do with him what time you get dressed in the day. How weird. I would not let him in next time!

I don't think it's an age thing OR a cultural thing. And if people want to stay in the night attire til midday it's up to them.

You've got a small baby and you're in your own home. Why does he thinks it's anything to do with him what you're wearing.

Having said that I just cannot understand why wearing pjs all day is anymore comfortable than putting on clothes. I'm wearing jeans and a jumper I'm comfortable and have no trouble relaxing in my clothes - I'm also wearing a bra and that's comfortable too.

On the other hand I'd feel incredibly uncomfortable in my pjs all day and would find not getting dressed in day clothes a bit depressing tbh in the same way I wouldn't go all day without showering, cleaning my teeth or combing my hair.

The only time I've stayed in pjs all day is when I've been very ill or just had an operation. Even then I'd want to get dressed and usually I would.

Perhaps it's a generational thing. Although having said that, I remember the women in my exh's family used to do this on weekends.

Anyway, tell him to mind his own business.

If you’re randomly going into people’s houses, you’re going to find them in all sorts of states and have no business objecting to it. He could have just as easily caught you naked grabbing clean pants off the airer! How bloody rude!