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AIBU?

Fatshaming

647 replies

travelinterest · 12/10/2018 08:59

After a conversation with friends, and with obesity (especially in young people) becoming a bigger crisis than smoking in our society, am I unreasonable to think that as we villanise smoking and drinking, should we fat shame more to encourage people to change their lifestyles. It's certainly worked with reducing smoking rates. Don't attack me (I've lost 2 stone). Just wondering why we target smoking more than fast food?

OP posts:
Absla · 12/10/2018 11:13

I get where your coming from, but can’t help but think that it is not the right way to do it.

I think one way to reduce obesity would be to start with the parents, a lot of people who are obese are emotional eaters, ‘eating their feelings’ as well as education on food too, and how to look after yourself.

Obesity is a real strain on our NHS too, so yeah you being over weight can effect those of us who are completely healthy and end up with an awful condition which was not our fault.

Though shaming is just wrong and that is not the right way to go about it.

Though my size 8 mum is what I call a ‘fattist’ She finds it unpleasant, and can be a little bit judgemental, though I understand her frustration and because she has explained to me the implications of being over weight and what it can do to me I’ve been lucky enough to stay slim.

Even with my emotional turmoils in my short lived life.

So fat shaming no - better education to children and better help for adults who are obese aka counselling YES!

Ontopofthesunset · 12/10/2018 11:13

Er, Cancer Research do research into lots of types of cancer and support lots of programmes. That campaign was educational, not 'victim blaming' (another term that's nearly as bad as 'fatshaming).

For some people, knowing that smoking causes cancer makes them try really hard to stop smoking. For some people, knowing that being obese is a risk factor for 40% of cancers makes them want to try not to be obese.

It's not victim blaming. People do have some agency, whatever barriers are in their way. Saying "It's not my fault I'm overweight" may comfort you but doesn't help your health outlook. It's hard to give up smoking or drinking and it's often hard to lose weight, but for most people, it's not unreasonable to try nor impossible to do.

Birdsgottafly · 12/10/2018 11:15

thecatneuterer Carbs are converted to sugar in the body. They produce more sugar than sugary foods often contain. Eat more than 150g Carbs a day and you are in danger of Heart/Vascular Disease and diabetes.

Our problem isn't sugar, it's Carbs.

I've recently attended a two day Consultant led health seminar. We think the clinics are full of Obese people, but the main category is Carb over consumers, which includes serious Weight Lifters and runners.

The reason why some areas of the World have such high rates of CVD, even though they are active and don't eat sugar, Is because of large quantities of rice.

White Carbs don't provide fibre, we don't need much of them, because if you eat Veg, you are taking in enough Carbs. Fruit also has Carbs.

All the things mentioned used to kill off the Men up until the 80's, it wasn't weight related, it was what they ate, red meat, bread and potatoes.

It isn't just weight related, it's lifestyle. But we don't shame people about their lifestyles

For those saying why should an Obese person take up a hospital bed. As opposed to who? Someone who is inactive? Someone who drinks over the recommendations? Someone who drives/does hobbies/diy recklessly? A convicted sex offender? A Woman who knows she'll have complicated deliveries/disabled babies?

If we connect welfare rights to behaviour/worth are you sure you'll make the cut?

Ninoo25 · 12/10/2018 11:16

bumblingbovine49 I agree with everything you’ve said and I’m sorry that you got fat shamed at all, never mind after all that weight loss and effort. I don’t understand why people can’t just be nice to each other. It really riles me up when strangers think they have a right to be angry or disgusted by someone else’s weight or appearance to the point where they make negative or sarcastic comments X

Feckitall · 12/10/2018 11:17

Fat shaming as in being rude/insulting is utterly wrong and counterproductive, any decent person would not do this...

But normalising obesity, burying heads in the sand and wringing hands is wrong. If an adult wishes to eat themselves into oblivion for whatever reason that is their decision. When you see children who rely on their parents for food waddling along then it becomes a different situation.

Birdsgottafly · 12/10/2018 11:18

"So yeah you being over weight can effect those of us who are completely healthy and end up with an awful condition which was not our fault. "

Very few people are 'very healthy. Do you and your Mum weight lift to protect your bone density? What to you do for your vascular health? Absla

WorraLiberty · 12/10/2018 11:18

"To all the people saying "fat people know they're fat".. Do they? Obviously very obese people know but the amount of people you see on here saying that they're not fat- they are only a size 16."

Exactly. Many overweight people will compare themselves to those around them and given the obesity crisis, many of those people will be overweight too.

noeffingidea · 12/10/2018 11:19

Bad idea. As with other addictions, there's a reason people overeat
I think using the word 'addiction' to describe people eating more than their body needs is a bad idea.
Of course there are a small number of people who's obesity is related to complex mental and emotional issues, but the majority of overweight and obese people gain weight slowly and gradually over years, just a small amount each day, around 100 calories or so. An amount that could easily be corrected by not eating acouple of biscuits, or walking a couple of miles instead of driving.
Tinkobell you make a good point about plus clothing sizes. When I was a teenager in the 70's the only fashionable clothes you could buy were in 10, 12 and 14 (which were much smaller), and you simply had to stay in those sizes unless you wanted to wear old lady crimpiline slacks and the like. It's very difficult isn't it, of course larger people should be able to buy and wear nice fashionable clothes, but it does make it easier to gain weight gradually without the incentive of keeping your weight down to wear nice clothes.

Stonebake · 12/10/2018 11:22

Tbh, I think it’s human nature to eat too much. Until we have food shortages we will always have a fatness problem in this country. But hey, with Brexit round the corner and climate change causing all sorts of chaos, having food constantly available and affordable for all might be a thing of the past soon.

noeffingidea · 12/10/2018 11:25

Stonebake people said that before the recession and austerity in 2009. It didn't happen, at least not on a population level.

Mugglemom · 12/10/2018 11:26

There's so much disinformation and ignorance in this thread.

The principal cause of obesity is the food we eat. Study after study has shown that while exercise is important for health, it's not much help with weight loss. The key is in what we eat.

And let's be clear, most people are eating this way, not just those who are obese. To single out those with obesity as though they're the only ones suffering from related health problems is ignoring part of the problem. Thin people have these health issues too.

We ALL need to eat better and perhaps take a good long look at what we allow companies to sell and market as food.

LucyMorningStar · 12/10/2018 11:36

Well I feel well and truly ashamed now! Better go and have a good look at my disgusting self in the mirror and come up with a solution to get skinny.

By the way, at which point should fat shaming commence? Chubby, overweight, obese, morbidly obese? Is there a BMI number that is a good indicator for beginning of fat shaming?

As an aside, I am from a European country where anything over size 8 is considered huge and better not be seen. 85% of girls are tiny because of it so I guess it works to some extend. But it also comes with misogyny and sexism and 'must please man' culture that women are subjected to.

Absla · 12/10/2018 11:37

@birdsgottafly no we don’t but we have very active, healthy lifestyles. I’ve just had a private health check back and it was pretty good, everything in order apart from a spot of anaemia! I’m sorry if you don’t agree with what I said but it is pretty obvious, and I’m sure that people who are over weight would prefer not to be... we can’t pretend that it’s okay to be over weight just as it’s not ok to be underweight. Both a problem. Both hard. Both upsetting.

noeffingidea · 12/10/2018 11:38

Fat people are already shamed on a daily basis
You know, I never noticed this personally, and I spent about 10 years being obese (top bmi 37). I think someone might have shouted 'fat cow' or something similar at me once, but thats about it, and it didn't upset me at all. I guess I was just lucky (or maybe thick skinned. Perhaps people were fat shaming me and I didn't notice).

Absla · 12/10/2018 11:38

@stonebake very bloody true. Worlds in chaos

LucyMorningStar · 12/10/2018 11:39

I must also add, my dad fat shamed me from young age. Didn't work I'm afraid! Still a fatso! Grin

Pepper123123 · 12/10/2018 11:48

Yeah, because making me feel even shittier about being overweight is really going to encourage me to go to the gym or exercise in public 🙄

I have no use of the lower half of my body, which means I live quite a sedentary life.
I eat a very balanced diet, but until there are exercise options for people who use wheelchairs in my area....such as gyms recognising that those with less mobility want and need to exercise...I will always struggle to keep my weight at a healthy level.

Shaming me for being fat will do nothing but make my mental health suffer.

Everanewbie · 12/10/2018 11:50

Fat shaming is not a nice thing to do and is likely to worsen someones mental state who is likely to be already fragile. However, healthcare professionals need to be blunt in private, in spelling out that a person is overweight/obese/morbidly obese, and to what extent this impacts on their current and future health. This shouldn't be an opportunity to be insulting, nor should it be danced around to save feelings. Obesity should not be normalised and we shouldn't present a public consensus that being overweight is somehow acceptable and positive. But that is not an excuse to be cruel, people should still be treated with compassion.

wrenika · 12/10/2018 11:50

I think shaming in general works. People want to fit in and we shouldn't pretend that obesity is okay, no matter how much people go on about being 'confident and happy' when they're really just fat.

MsHopey · 12/10/2018 11:51

I agree about the poverty thing.
We're on a very low income and out biggest "treats" are shitty foods.
Pizzas, chocolate, crisps, takeaways.
Its hard being on a low income where you can't go on holidays, or day trips, or shopping sprees, so a pack of biscuits of a £3.50 personalised pizza from asda is the only treat you can afford.
I always feel fat and guilty afterwards, but when there's not much else to look forward to you make the most out of what you've got.

Lost5stone · 12/10/2018 11:54

As PP have said fat shaming won't work but we don't need to encourage it either.

I'm just in the normal BMI category now and I do need to lose some more but everyone around me says I'm sooo slim now and shouldn't lose anymore. It's all bullshit, I look slimmer than average because everyone is overweight. Now if someone says to me "Ohh I'm only a 14 so I'm fine" I am silent now. I won't be mean but I won't encourage it either. Encouragement is what lead me to be a size 20.

FruitofAutumn · 12/10/2018 11:56

we shouldn't pretend that obesity is okay, no matter how much people go on about being 'confident and happy' when they're really just fat.

Are you sayin people can't be confident and happy and fat??

also what do you mean that it is not ok to be fat? people have an absolute right to be what ever shape they like!!

GraceMarks · 12/10/2018 11:59

I suffer from bulimia - it is possible to be overweight and have an eating disorder. When I was fatshamed (for being about a stone overweight), what it made me do was go home, cram my face with several packets of biscuits, shovel a handful of laxatives down after them, and then cut my upper arms to hell with a knife. It didn't make me rethink my lifestyle and decide to go on a health drive. Sorry to be graphic, but it really boils my piss when people make comments like that without knowing anything about someone's personal circumstances.

Assume that a) fat people know they are fat; b) they know what they need to do in order to lose weight if they want to, and c) even if they don't know, it's not your job or responsibility to tell them. In other words, mind your own damned business.

Lovelygiraffe · 12/10/2018 11:59

Cherrypavlova I'm sorry to say but you're talking out of your arse about banning parking within a mile of schools.

Working parents can't just 'adapt', my children's school is 2 miles away. I have to be in work by 8. I work a further 6 miles from the school. There are schools near my workplace too so I wouldn't be able to park there either.

You're talking about 2 hours or so of walking twice a day. I can't just tell my employer I'll be 1.5 hours late for work, I can't just tell my childcare providers I'll be 1.5 hours late.

What about the teachers? Should they be allowed to park at school?

I'm not even fat! We do plenty of exercise. Ridiculous that you think peoples lives should be made impossible because of others.

BumDisease · 12/10/2018 12:00

@wreninka why do you find a fat person being "confident and happy" so threatening?

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