What to say to my children. Someone has died but we never met him.

[Whatjusthappenedthere]

I thought about posting this in bereavement but then thought better of it. This is not exactly light hearted but neither does it hold the same seriousness when measured agsinst the loss of a loved one.
About a year ago my iPhone , via the maps app started telling me how far away we were parked from a location with a very amusing name. Think along the lines of “ Rabbit Ron” but funnier. My kids found this hilarious, looked him up and his house backed on to our garden. For a year they have asked “how far away from Rabbit Ron are we today”? ... we were recently queuing for a ride at Alton Towers and the phone piped up we were x amount of time from RR . They are so invested in our little joke they want to walk around and meet Rabbit Ron. His house is literally five minutes from ours. I have no idea why my phone suggests his location or how far away we are from his home but it does.
I found out today “Rabbit Ron” died two weeks ago. I’m honestly sad , I never met him but his name thanks to Google maps has been a part of my children’s lives for a year. He gave us so much laughter.
My aibu is do I tell the children. Either way the reminders still seem to be coming. Do I laugh along or ignore the requests of “how far away are we today Mummy!”.
For context, they lost a much loved Grandad this year. They understand grief but all the same it feels a bit crap. For me as well. What do I say next time Google maps reminds me how far away we are. .

I didn’t post in bereavement for obvious reasons. However, they are a kind bunch over there so maybe I should have. I didn’t particularly want to post in aibu either and now I remember why.

Thanks to those who offered constructive advice and also to those who explained better than me the inner workings of google maps.

Hmm I’m not sure that people on bereavement who have lost partners, children and other close relatives would be in a hurry to rally round someone who has lost someone who’s name they saw on Google. You considered posting there which is crazy enough imo.
Unless the family are particularly bothered to remove his name from Googlemaps it will likely still be there and even if his name is removed he lives behind you - if the kids ask how far to Budgie Dave’s just give them the distance to your house!

I don't suppose it's occurred to some people that this 'bereavement' is tied to the other bereavement this family had recently. That it's easier to be sad about the Google thing than a family member. Grief processes oddly and I think that is probably what is happening here. The people in Bereavement may well have spotted that.

One of the reasons psychologists think the Princess Di hysteria happened is because it was a 'safe' way for people to process other grief.

On the other hand, people love being mean to strangers on AIBU. For less easily explained reasons.

Tell them. If you lie they may well look him up themselves and wonder why you said he wasn't there any more when he is (the listing won't go until someone requests it is removed - my late FIL's small hobby business still shows up).

Tell your kids that this person has moved away. That's it.

What?! You didn't know him, there is no reason to tell your children that somebody you don't even know has died. This weekend I have to tell my children that their grandfather is dying.

Grow up OP

Jesus, this place sometimes. It's an inside joke, unclench, people!

I would be even less inclined to bring up the death of a stranger unnecessarily to children coping with an actual bereavement tbh.

Well I think it’s lovely. I also think that it is a good introduction to your children that even though it’s sad that death is a normal part of life.
It gives them a chance to discus and process death and bereavement without the close emotional upset of it being a family member.

Could you get a Budgie and call him Dave?

“Could you get a Budgie and call him Dave?”

This is why I keep coming back.

But they aren't little children, if they are 12+ they can quite easily google him themselves.

I think I'd say "Oh, do you know, I heard something really sad when I was walking the dogs the other day. You know that man Budgie Dave? I was walking past his house and someone told me he's died! It's such a shame, poor old Budgie Dave."

DC will probably say "Oh no, that is sad" and move on.

I've just lost my Mum. I am devastated. I'd smile - and so would she - if you carried on remembering as before. Kids don't need to know. When google changes you can tell them that. Keep going I say.

Tell them that he has gone up to the big cage in the sky with all his old budgies...

A 12 year old ( assuming no SEN ) should understand that death is a sad but very real part of life.
It's lovely that this has given you lots of laughs over time but now he has gone then it would be odd to continue even though it was a bit odd in the first place

Apparently Budgie Dave was a smuggler, he got into a tight spot with some other, shady looking, budgie smugglers and ended up feeding the fish.

@walkingdeadfangirl

MrsTerryPratchet.

You never let me down or anyone for that matter with your wise and supportive text.
Thank you.
I really wish I hadn’t posted the OP. I was genuinely looking for some advice.

Oh OP, I think you've had a hard time on here. You and your family sound lovely, and very happy. I grew up with no laughter in our house, just sheer stress, I can't tell you what I'd have given for an inside joke like that

I'd be inclined to tell him, OP. At your son's age he's old enough to understand death and that you can have empathy for someone you haven't met. Also, as cornflakegirl mentioned if your son mentions this, even in passing, to someone who knew him it could be upsetting to them and if he finds out you knew and didn't tell him, that could cause some issues.

I wouldn't take it to heart what others have said here. There's nothing wrong with having an in-joke and your jokes weren't cruel or nasty.

Oh my goodness what is with some people on here?!!

I totally get your dilemma @Whatjusthappenedthere. The way is see it is you have 3 choices.

1. tell them the truth
2. stop using it and ignore the comments which seems a little cruel.
3. tell them it's no longer there
4. set a new pin on google maps for something and switch it to that.

Depends on your children and how old they etc as to which one you pick xx