What to say to my children. Someone has died but we never met him.

[Whatjusthappenedthere]

I thought about posting this in bereavement but then thought better of it. This is not exactly light hearted but neither does it hold the same seriousness when measured agsinst the loss of a loved one.
About a year ago my iPhone , via the maps app started telling me how far away we were parked from a location with a very amusing name. Think along the lines of “ Rabbit Ron” but funnier. My kids found this hilarious, looked him up and his house backed on to our garden. For a year they have asked “how far away from Rabbit Ron are we today”? ... we were recently queuing for a ride at Alton Towers and the phone piped up we were x amount of time from RR . They are so invested in our little joke they want to walk around and meet Rabbit Ron. His house is literally five minutes from ours. I have no idea why my phone suggests his location or how far away we are from his home but it does.
I found out today “Rabbit Ron” died two weeks ago. I’m honestly sad , I never met him but his name thanks to Google maps has been a part of my children’s lives for a year. He gave us so much laughter.
My aibu is do I tell the children. Either way the reminders still seem to be coming. Do I laugh along or ignore the requests of “how far away are we today Mummy!”.
For context, they lost a much loved Grandad this year. They understand grief but all the same it feels a bit crap. For me as well. What do I say next time Google maps reminds me how far away we are. .

Agreed that Budgie Dave is funnier. He was probably a lot of fun.

I really wouldn’t upset your children unnecessarily.

How do you know it was Budgie Dave? Did the person who told you they’d died refer to them as Budgie Dave?

They don't know him and they don't know he's dead - you can keep answering the question with a made up response until they grow out of it.

Do you live in Grimsby or Sunderland? Google maps can’t decide for me. If not there are a good few Budgie Daves out there.

Maybe he bred and sold budgies.

Apologies for the typing errors.

I get it now and I do see how that would become a running joke.

Just tell them he’s moved - or if the mood is right you could tell them the truth. It is poignant but it doesn’t have to be a big deal. I don’t think you need to tell them about it if it’s likely to upset them.

Am I being thick here? Google maps doesn't show the name of anyone unless it's a shop?

I get it and I agree with spugzbunny
keep it going as long as you can and tell them about it when they're older

Right, completely random example. See where it says Nicola’s Driving School? Imagine that says Budgie Dave instead, perhaps the chap breeds budgies.

Imagine OP’s house backs onto it. Because of the proximity,Google has decided that when OP is going home, she’s actually going to Nicola’s (Dave’s).

When OP is out and about, Google tried to be helpful by giving her notifications like ‘It will take 2 hours to get to Budgie Dave’s in current traffic’, because that’s the sort of crap Google does.

My god MN has turned into a bunch of joyless deliberately obtuse fun sponges.

For those hard of thinking - the location thing works like this..
Man near OP has a hobby/job that is registered somewhere on t'internet. Example Ron breeds Rabbits. His nickname or business name is 'Rabbit Ron'. Google maps picks this up.
Kids find it funny ..
Mum and Dcs turn it into a little joke 'how far are we from Rabbit Ron..
Not hard..

Now to answer your question OP. I wouldn't tell them he died. Just that your phone is not picking it up any more and he must have moved. Don't bring anymore bereavement into their lives than absolutely necessary.

RabbitRon!
So glad you are still with us and able to contribute. Sadly my info was correct as far as I could tell from Google maps/ neighbours and the now empty Avery I can see from the back of my house ( I hadn’t clicked they have empty for a while).

I know what you mean OP.Nor quite the same,but growing up me and my sis used to walk to school the same time as a man who had really slappy feet-henceforth known as “slappy guy”.Now we don’t know him but he was a point of reference that made us giggle in our day for a long time,-and if we found out he had died we would be too.I get it.

I think it would be respectful to tell them.

It turns out Budgie Dave is quite a popular name Anyway, back to the question, it's up to you, really. I wouldn't be able to lie to my children, and tbh, I don't think it's very respectful to enjoy a laugh and a giggle about someone who's dead, so I'd just gently tell them that you've found out that the man in that house had become very ill and sadly died, so it's not appropriate to check how far away you are from his house any more.

Thank you EduCated. X

Your OP was not in the SLIGHTEST bit confusing and this thread has made me judge people a little bit more tonight tbh as it seems completely bloody obvious to me why you're sad.

You're sad because you have found out that your neighbour, who unwittingly brought you and your children joy, has died. And it is sad. And you don't know how to tell them.

I get you. It is a bereavement - especially to you as the adult who knows he died of cancer, it's just not like a personal bereavement of someone you know, but a sad thing.

And lougle. That was my worry. X

Thanks for your explanation @fontofknowledge you are such a wise owl, and I am in awe of you. Wow just wow!

People KNOW what the OP is on about, but we reserve the right to think it's ridiculous. Just like YOU reserve the right to think it's hilarious jolly good fun!

SHOCK NEWS! Not everyone thinks the same.

Being bereaved for someone you have never met and don't know is ridiculous. FFS get a grip people!

ed

Thanks, I now understand what OP was trying to say.

And rubikqueens. For a moment there I thought I was a bit mad for feeling sad. Thank you.

Google will be gutted

Thanks font as well. You didn’t deserve that slating. I appreciate your support.

For what it’s worth, I didn’t say I was felt bereaved over Budgie Dave , I said I felt sad.

I don't know why people are haunt such a hard time understanding this. Anyway RIP budgie Dave bit I would probably just say 'aw, budgie Dave's turned his map off.' I'm all for complete openness when necessary but this just seems like needless sorrow for them.